Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think 10yo DD shouldn't go to the park without an adult

21 replies

AngieBolen · 04/08/2015 19:30

because she cries dramatically when she falls over.

On the other hand if DS who has just turned 12 falls over, cuts himself/grazes he gets up and deals with it. I have no problem with him going to the park without an adult.

DD however lies on the floor, cries dramatically, and shouts that she's hurt, and sometimes even screams she can't get up because she can move her ankle/wrist/whatever, even though it's probably just a little graze she's suffered.

DH has let her go to the park with DS this week, but I'm not convinced she's mature enough.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 04/08/2015 19:31

are you sure she still the drama queen act when she doesn't have an audience ?

AnyFucker · 04/08/2015 19:32

still does

CMOTDibbler · 04/08/2015 19:32

YANBU. It would be unfair for your DS to have to deal with her histrionics.

Pardonwhat · 04/08/2015 19:32

I think it might do her some good to not have an audience for her dramatics!

TracyBarlow · 04/08/2015 19:33

Just let her go. If she cries dramatically when she falls over then at least you won't have to listen to it

QueenOfNothing · 04/08/2015 19:34

I would assume when by herself she doesn't act like that AND that she needs more independence than she currently has in order to stop acting like that.

That really is not normal behaviour for a 10 year old.

screamingskull · 04/08/2015 19:37

My ds is 10 and will pull this stunt if I am there. If he's with friends no way never, unless genuinely hurt. Only you know if she can cope to be at the park alone.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 04/08/2015 19:40

I would let her go she'll soon learn that it's not cool to scream like a toddler for every bump and scratch

IHaveBrilloHair · 04/08/2015 19:42

I'd let her go, the other kids will get rid of that behaviour quickly.

Ikeameatballs · 04/08/2015 19:43

YABU, she'll be much better without you watching.

ErrolTheDragon · 04/08/2015 19:45

Did your DS mind taking her? Maybe she behaves better without you there. If she's a pain then certainly don't make him do it, but if he's OK with it then it's a very normal thing for siblings of this age to do together.

Original poster

AngieBolen · 04/08/2015 20:08

DS is OK with going with her....if she starts to fuss he will just roll his eyes and walk off.

I'm very aware it's not normal behaviour....it hasn't been normal for years, but whenever I voice my concerns to friends/family they point out she's always been like this. She certainly doesn't behave like that at school about getting hurt, although there can high drama about having to sit next to someone she doesn't like, etc

DH and I aren't usually divided about parenting decisions. He thinks she'll definitely be fine (and she has been so far). I'm imagining some poor old lady escorting DD home with a slightly grazed knee.

OP posts:

scarlets · 04/08/2015 20:16

It almost certainly won't happen when you're not there. My DH coaches football, and the kids are a lot less drama-queeny about minor injuries when mum and dad are absent.

At 10, I think that she should be gaining a bit more independence and going to the park without an adult (but with a curfew of course).

ErrolTheDragon · 04/08/2015 20:19

If she doesn't behave like this at school, and your DS doesn't pander to it, then I'm inclined to agree with your DH. I'm curious, what do you do when she acts up like this and you're around?

The only real problem I could foresee is that if she's always crying wolf then she might come unstuck if she ever really did hurt herself. Does your DS carry a mobile?

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2015 20:22

Let her go on her own or with her friends she wont act like that in front of them or if she does they wont stand for it. its obviously ott behaviour to get you to baby her

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2015 20:24

If an old lady brought her home with a scratch there would be no park ever again with or without an adult

Original poster

AngieBolen · 04/08/2015 20:28

Yes, DS has a mobile, and this week DD has DH's old one.

Oh, there have been several occasions over the years when I haven't taken any notice of her fussing when she's actually hurt herself! She still has a slight scar under her chin from when she fell over when she was four...that time I paid no attention for ages because she's always fussed so much, and there have been other similar occasions.

I don't think we pander to her or that we're precious about her...maybe that's the problem.

OP posts:

girliefriend · 04/08/2015 20:36

She sounds exactly like my 9yo dd, she has recently been diagnosed as having sensory processing difficulties which explains some of the drama when she hurts herself.

I let her go with a friend to the park recently (the park is at the end of our road) and she lasted 5 mins before being bought back hysterical by her friend because she had accidentally touched a stinging nettle

I have the same Peter and the Wolf issues with never knowing how bad an injury is because she over reacts to every injury iyswim.

Does she struggle in any other areas op?

PoptartPoptart · 04/08/2015 20:36

You could be describing my DS (also 10). Screams, cries and makes a huge fuss over the slightest minor bump. He has always been like this, I have no idea why as we have never ever pandered to it. I've tried everything, ignoring it, rubbing it better in a cheery 'you'll be fine' manor, taking him seriously and giving it attention etc, but no approach has worked, he still acts like a huge drama king at the slightest thing. He gets plenty of positive attention so it's not like he's doing it to be noticed iyswim. I have noticed he does it mainly for my benefit though, if it's just DP or if his friends are there he isn't as bad, although his reaction to things is still disproportionate to the actual injury. I have no answers I'm afraid, only sympathy!

PoptartPoptart · 04/08/2015 20:45

Also, same as girliefriend above, I also struggle to know how bad an injury actually is if I don't see it happen. Many a time I've been contemplating A&E as he's been rolling around in apparent agony (he also over dramatises illness such as stomach ache or headaches). Once we actually got in the car heading for the hospital when he was clutching his side and I was convinced it was his appendix or something. He made a miraculous recovery before we got there. I've had serious conversations with him about the boy who cried wolf etc, but he never admits he was faking and insists that the pain really was that bad but then it got better. It's really wearing and I'm worried that one day I will overlook something potentially serious as I never know when to take it seriously

Original poster

AngieBolen · 04/08/2015 20:46

girliefriend I'm confident she doesn't have sensory processing difficulties.

DS1 definitely does, and I'd recognise it if DD did. She's just a drama queen, and slightly bonkers, most of the time in a nice way. When I've told people who haven't met her about her antics I've been asked if she's on the autistic spectrum. She definitely isn't.

She's repeatedly asked to go to drama classes. I think maybe I should consider indulging her, as drama may be her talent.

Its good to hear DDs not the only one, PoptartPoptart.

OP posts:

Flip