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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I may have jeopardised DD'S friendship?

22 replies

ihateminecraft · 04/08/2015 13:45

The other night my mobile rang when I was out. I saw the call was from the mobile of the mother of one of my 10 yr old DD'S friends. I don't really know the mum and only had her number as they had attended each others recent parties but she seems nice enough from the brief encounters I have had with her.

I answered the phone and it wasn't the mum but the girl herself asking for DD. I explained I was out and DD wasn't with me. She then asked if I had a number she could call her on. I suggested that, as it was getting late, I texted her mum to arrange a time for them to talk the next day. She said that was fine and hung up. A bit later I texted the mum to that effect. That was 3 days ago and I've heard nothing.

I'm now worried if I've done the wrong thing and perhaps dropped this girl in the sh*t with her mum!? Tbh I don't let DD use my phone and would be cross if I found out she'd been calling friends without my knowledge. However, I assumed her mum was aware and the girl didn't flinch when I said I'd text her mum.

I'm afraid her mum is cross with her daughter and cross with me for apparently approving her behaviour.

To make matters worse, I told DD. She was really excited as this is quite a new friend who DD is keen to impress. She keeps asking if the mum has texted me back!

The only other thing I can think of is that the girl intercepted the text and deleted it before her mum saw!

I really hope I haven't messed things up for DD and this girl. I was so pleased she'd made some new friends as she'd had a rotten time with her old friends last year so am really keen to encourage the friendship.

OP posts:
CocktailQueen · 04/08/2015 13:47

You haven't done anything wrong! I'd ring the mum. Maybe your text failed to arrive.

PurpleSwift · 04/08/2015 13:47

You're way over thinking this. Just forgot about it op! No need to worry

Eternalsunshines · 04/08/2015 13:48

Why don't you let your DD phone her instead?

GardenDragon · 04/08/2015 13:49

I hardly ever check my phone for texts, so it could be she has just not seen it yet.

LateDay · 04/08/2015 13:49

I think you're over thinking this. Honestly she probably didn't get the text or forgot to reply or something.

turningvioletviolet · 04/08/2015 13:50

You're way overthinking this. Text the mum and ask if her Dd would like to go swimming with yours or some such. Sorted.

Pagwatch · 04/08/2015 13:50

My DD is 12. She has been getting phone calls for a while.
I think the mums texting each other to arrange a time when one girl can phone the other might have just made the other mum a bit Confused

I would have just said 'it's late. Do you want to call tomorrow around x time'

If the mum hasn't text back the girl might not think she can phone again.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 13:59

You are overthinking....Pag is wrong...to an extent. SOME 10 plus girls are free to text and phone their mates on their own or their Mum's phones but some are not.

I'd say the majority are allowed OP but it's not weird not to let a child have a phone in year 5. You;ll find that in year 6 though, most have a phone and do contact one another.

Leave it a few days and give the mum a call or text to suggest they get together.

Original poster
ihateminecraft · 04/08/2015 13:59

There's a bit of a difference between just 10 & 12 though. Presumably by 12 they have their own phones? These girls are using their mum's so wanted to be sure convenient and not calling at work for example!

OP posts:
TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 14:01

Oh I see Pag has misunderstood actually. The OP didn't text to arrange for the girls to phone each other....she txd to ask the Mum about them getting together.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 14:02

Hate exactly...is your DD about to go into yr 6? If so, you might find that quite a lot of them have phones of their own this year. Heavily supervised but yes...their own phone.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 14:02

Hate exactly...is your DD about to go into yr 6? If so, you might find that quite a lot of them have phones of their own this year. Heavily supervised but yes...their own phone.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 14:02

Hate exactly...is your DD about to go into yr 6? If so, you might find that quite a lot of them have phones of their own this year. Heavily supervised but yes...their own phone.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 14:02

Hate exactly...is your DD about to go into yr 6? If so, you might find that quite a lot of them have phones of their own this year. Heavily supervised but yes...their own phone.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 14:02

Hate exactly...is your DD about to go into yr 6? If so, you might find that quite a lot of them have phones of their own this year. Heavily supervised but yes...their own phone.

Original poster
ihateminecraft · 04/08/2015 14:07

I DID text to arrange them to call each other (on their mum's phones as they don't have their own). Not because I think they need supervising but more to make sure both were available to talk, given DD'S friend had called my mobile when DD not even with me!

OP posts:
Original poster
ihateminecraft · 04/08/2015 14:09

Actually yr5 and the girls are in fact 9 not 10. My attempt to hide my identity backfired this time really didn't it Confused

OP posts:
DeeWe · 04/08/2015 14:10

House I understood the OP Sam as Pag. She says she text the mum to arrange a time for them to call.

Op they might be away or busy. Why don't you phone the mum tonight and invite the girl over to do something nice?

Although when my dd was having friendship issues I'd probably have been so thrilled at a phone call I'd have woken her up at midnight if a friend had called. Smile

DeeWe · 04/08/2015 14:11

X-post

Pagwatch · 04/08/2015 14:19

I know 12 is different from 10. I was remembering back to when DD was that age. Her friends used to call her then and ask to speak. Lots of them had phones in year 5 & 6 too.

I'm not criticising what you did at all op. I'm just trying to figure out what you asked - why might the mother have ignored you.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 14:51

OP. If they're just going into year 5 there's no need to worry. Call or text the Mother and ask something specific "Would X like to come to X on Monday or perhaps there's a suitable day when she can come over to play?"

Then if no contact is made, forget it.

DJThreeDog · 04/08/2015 16:21

I think you're well overthinking it tbh. I suspect she's a MNetter and has wound herself in circles trying to write the perfect reply text Wink

Why don't you ring them back and ask if they would like to meet up?

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