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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to avoid known infections?

27 replies

RedYellaGreen · 03/08/2015 10:06

I have an incurable disease that is made severely worse by stress, tiredness or infections.

Last winter I was ill back to back from September to March and it was hell. I've been healthy for a few months now and life is all the more worth living.

However, I would like to avoid known infections and viruses, just because I can. I realise that you can pick up infection anywhere, but there is something about known infection that feels a bit different.

My parents have asked if they can invite a cousin to a day out. I am not included in the day out, but my children are. In fact, the sole purpose of the day out is to give me rest.

The last time they went out with known infection, I caught it and was ill for months. I just can't bear that idea! AIBU to say please don't invite the cousin with the virus? I feel so mean.

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 03/08/2015 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaidOfStars · 03/08/2015 10:11

What virus does the (children's?) cousin have?

NerrSnerr · 03/08/2015 10:14

What infections are you talking about? Are your children in school because surely someone will always have a cold in their class throughout the autumn term? You'd struggle to keep them away from all infections.

Bunbaker · 03/08/2015 10:22

It isn't clear from your post, but are you saying that you know that this cousin is already unwell? Or are you assuming that he/she is?

I understand your concerns and used to have the same worries when DD was little and medically vulnerable.

LazyLohan · 03/08/2015 10:23

What's the cousin got?

BerylStreep · 03/08/2015 10:26

I think it depends on whether the cousin is currently unwell.

Mrsjayy · 03/08/2015 10:31

What known i fection do they have if they are ill why are they invited anyway?

306235388 · 03/08/2015 10:32

What's the matter with the cousin? Is it your children's cousin or yours? Do they see them other times?b

Original poster
RedYellaGreen · 03/08/2015 10:48

I will try to answer all questions:

Its a current throat infection, with all the usual trimmings (temperature, malaise, cough and runny nose). The whole family have it, but only the cousin wanted to play for the day, despite having it.

The grandparents wouldn't be taking kids out today if it were not for my health (need to rest). They take the kids once a week for a few hours, but today is longer being as it's summer holidays.

One DC goes to school, and that is probably one of the reasons I was ill all winter. But being ill for 6 months of the year is not something I wish to extend through the summer months too!

OP posts:
Original poster
RedYellaGreen · 03/08/2015 10:50

oh, missed one question. They see the cousin, among many other cousins, every few months.

OP posts:
Theycallmemellowjello · 03/08/2015 10:51

I would say no, make it clear you're sorry about it, explain your reasons, then say you'll have the cousin over/do something with them, when s/he is well again.

Bunbaker · 03/08/2015 10:52

It's out of the question that they see this cousin then.

However, your children need to build up immunity against illness and if they avoid it they will never do so. It's a catch 22 situation.

AngieBolen · 03/08/2015 10:55

It's good that your parents have consulted you about this.

You can give your answer.

Job done.

YANBU

Mrsjayy · 03/08/2015 10:57

No i wouldnt let them either throat infections are so easily passed on especially coughing and spluttering children its not fair on your children and you

LeafyLafae · 03/08/2015 11:02

One "day off" from the kids is not worth it if you're ran down for weeks on end... Parents of snotty nose shouldn't be sending them & they're unreasonable for doing so

TheGonnagle · 03/08/2015 11:04

I'm in the same situation and I actively avoid people displaying symptoms. You can't help walking into infections, viruses etc most of the time but I see no need to actively seek one out!

Original poster
RedYellaGreen · 03/08/2015 11:08

It's hard to know where to draw the line. Of all those saying they'd avoid, would you feel different if, for example, there was just a sore throat with no cough?

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 03/08/2015 11:11

The trouble is a sore throat could be a sign of something brewing. I often get a sore throat before I get a cold. At that point the person with the sore throat might be more infectious.

Mrsjayy · 03/08/2015 11:16

If i was in your position and know somebody was ill with a sore throat even with no cough i would avoid them that includes children seeing sore throat person.

Original poster
RedYellaGreen · 03/08/2015 11:19

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 03/08/2015 11:22

Knew* my dd got scarlet fever when she was 12 i believe that comes from a sore throat

Bunbaker · 03/08/2015 11:35

And DD's chicken pox started with a sore throat.

Theycallmemellowjello · 03/08/2015 12:16

If the sore throat is serious enough to have been mentioned I'd imagine it's fairly severe?

LittleLionMansMummy · 03/08/2015 13:31

Throat infections are nasty. I had one back in February that needed antibiotics and it knocked me off my feet for a week. Very, very painful. I am otherwise fit and healthy. YANBU.

Dynomite · 03/08/2015 13:35

Even people who are generally healthy and have a good immune system will normally want to avoid someone with a nasty throat infection. Who wants to get a fever and sore throat just for the sake of a day out???

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