To want to avoid known infections?

[RedYellaGreen]

I have an incurable disease that is made severely worse by stress, tiredness or infections.

Last winter I was ill back to back from September to March and it was hell. I've been healthy for a few months now and life is all the more worth living.

However, I would like to avoid known infections and viruses, just because I can. I realise that you can pick up infection anywhere, but there is something about known infection that feels a bit different.

My parents have asked if they can invite a cousin to a day out. I am not included in the day out, but my children are. In fact, the sole purpose of the day out is to give me rest.

The last time they went out with known infection, I caught it and was ill for months. I just can't bear that idea! AIBU to say please don't invite the cousin with the virus? I feel so mean.

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

From what youve said youre especially susceptible to germs/bugs and really makes you ill fir months on end - horrid for you!

I think you need to be very clear about tje impact in you... I wouldn't relish getting a sore throat BUT it would make me ill for a few days... Not months...

You need especial consideration, anyone that doesnt take account of this is a knob

You are not BU to insist that folks don't come into cintact with you/or DCs when they know they are buggy/symptomatic.

[TheseventeenthSixteen]

YANBU. If you have a condition that makes you prone to catching stuff, then you are NU to avoid infections when possible.

I have caught one bug after another over the last 6 months. As soon as I leave the flipping house, after getting over one, I'm going down with another. I'm seriously considering wearing a proper surgical mask on public transport, especially going to new places where you might not have built up any immunity to the viruses currently doing the rounds there. Mine seems to be the result of 6 months of antibiotics. I dread it when I'm near someone who is obviously unwell, because all you can think of is being knocked back off your feet again if you catch it.

[Dynomite]

Even people who are generally healthy and have a good immune system will normally want to avoid someone with a nasty throat infection. Who wants to get a fever and sore throat just for the sake of a day out???

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Throat infections are nasty. I had one back in February that needed antibiotics and it knocked me off my feet for a week. Very, very painful. I am otherwise fit and healthy. YANBU.

[Theycallmemellowjello]

If the sore throat is serious enough to have been mentioned I'd imagine it's fairly severe?

[Bunbaker]

And DD's chicken pox started with a sore throat.

[Mrsjayy]

Knew* my dd got scarlet fever when she was 12 i believe that comes from a sore throat

[RedYellaGreen]

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.

[Mrsjayy]

If i was in your position and know somebody was ill with a sore throat even with no cough i would avoid them that includes children seeing sore throat person.

[Bunbaker]

The trouble is a sore throat could be a sign of something brewing. I often get a sore throat before I get a cold. At that point the person with the sore throat might be more infectious.

[RedYellaGreen]

It's hard to know where to draw the line. Of all those saying they'd avoid, would you feel different if, for example, there was just a sore throat with no cough?

[TheGonnagle]

I'm in the same situation and I actively avoid people displaying symptoms. You can't help walking into infections, viruses etc most of the time but I see no need to actively seek one out!

[LeafyLafae]

One "day off" from the kids is not worth it if you're ran down for weeks on end... Parents of snotty nose shouldn't be sending them & they're unreasonable for doing so

[Mrsjayy]

No i wouldnt let them either throat infections are so easily passed on especially coughing and spluttering children its not fair on your children and you

[AngieBolen]

It's good that your parents have consulted you about this.

You can give your answer.

Job done.

YANBU

[Bunbaker]

It's out of the question that they see this cousin then.

However, your children need to build up immunity against illness and if they avoid it they will never do so. It's a catch 22 situation.

[Theycallmemellowjello]

I would say no, make it clear you're sorry about it, explain your reasons, then say you'll have the cousin over/do something with them, when s/he is well again.

[RedYellaGreen]

oh, missed one question. They see the cousin, among many other cousins, every few months.

[RedYellaGreen]

I will try to answer all questions:

Its a current throat infection, with all the usual trimmings (temperature, malaise, cough and runny nose). The whole family have it, but only the cousin wanted to play for the day, despite having it.

The grandparents wouldn't be taking kids out today if it were not for my health (need to rest). They take the kids once a week for a few hours, but today is longer being as it's summer holidays.

One DC goes to school, and that is probably one of the reasons I was ill all winter. But being ill for 6 months of the year is not something I wish to extend through the summer months too!

[306235388]

What's the matter with the cousin? Is it your children's cousin or yours? Do they see them other times?b

[Mrsjayy]

What known i fection do they have if they are ill why are they invited anyway?

[BerylStreep]

I think it depends on whether the cousin is currently unwell.

[LazyLohan]

What's the cousin got?

[Bunbaker]

It isn't clear from your post, but are you saying that you know that this cousin is already unwell? Or are you assuming that he/she is?

I understand your concerns and used to have the same worries when DD was little and medically vulnerable.

[NerrSnerr]

What infections are you talking about? Are your children in school because surely someone will always have a cold in their class throughout the autumn term? You'd struggle to keep them away from all infections.