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AIBU?

To feel really sorry for ds1

42 replies

WonderWendy1 · 02/08/2015 17:23

Ds1 (15) is a very short 5ft 1 compared to his peers and he is insecure about it, but it doesnt normally bother him to much.

As its the summer holidays I always book my dc into a local the summer activities camp, ds1 really enjoys sports and particually basketball. I know all about the Lakers, Toronto Rapters and Chicargo Bulls. At school we dont normally play basketball but we have a hoop at home.

So at summer camp he put his name down for basketball and he didnt do to well, he said it was not the skill but he could not shoot or jump high enough.

This just made me feel really sad, i suggested to try another sport where height is less of a neccessity, but he really loves basketball.

Im not vary tall 4ft 10 and dh is only 5ft 5. This reminded be of when i did ballet but became to busty to fully excel.

Any advice please, im new to mumsnet.

OP posts:

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WonderWendy1 · 02/08/2015 20:08

Taylor im well aware of average height for that age and his height is something that really worry about. I dont see what use your comment was. Im especially worried as he looks as though he is nearing or just ended pubety.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 02/08/2015 20:11

Have you taken him to the GP, OP?

Preciousbane · 02/08/2015 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lljkk · 02/08/2015 20:23

Judo!! They are sorted by weight. Never too late to start.

WonderWendy1 · 02/08/2015 20:23

I dont know what the options are we are both small so ds1 is going to be small.

OP posts:

mysteryfairy · 02/08/2015 20:33

Please take him to the GP. My DS2 was similar sized at 15 thought it was even more unlikely seeming as I'm 5ft 10 and DH 5ft 11 and our other 2 DC were tall. It was taken seriously and he was referred. He's grown massively since and at nearly 19 is 6ft 1 so in his case it was very late pubertal growth spurt, possibly related to a severe illness he had aged 13. However through endocrinology appointments I gathered there is a lot that can be done if you do act whilst they are still an adolescent.

My DS at 15 found it very hard being mistaken for a year 7. He gave up rugby at which he had been very good in junior school because it was so intimidating playing against 6ft plus players who weighed more than twice as much as him. (He was also very slight). In y10 he still had clothes and trainers from junior school that fitted. I really sympathise - it used to be constantly on my mind and I felt so gutted for him.

TaylorQuifft · 02/08/2015 20:52

Wonder I didnt mean it harmfully just concerned as with other posters about your sons height.

Rainbunny · 02/08/2015 21:02

Scatter - He should definitely try rowing crew if he wants, it's a lot of fun and a very good team based sport but sadly it is definitely a tall person's sport! I'm the shortest person on my crew team (amatuer team and we rarely win but we have fun). Even our cox is an inch taller than me lol!

lastnightiwenttomanderley · 02/08/2015 21:05

I was a petite teen (am 5' now).and found my niche sports - hockey, riding and climbing. I love watching tennis but, with no binocular vision and weak wrists, am useless at it. I think it can be really helpful for some children (and adults) to realise that you can enjoy AMD appreciate a sport without playing it professionally. Something I wish the parents of the six year olds who play football behind our house twice a week would realise!

My parents are 5' and 5' 6" so I was never going to be a giant. I was referred for a few tests as a teen - they can x-ray your hand and see how much growing is left to occur (bit like dating scans when pg) or I also had a growth hormone response test. Only do this if it bothers your son though - I had it suggested by a well meaning GP but was completely sceptical about it given my genetics and all it did was make me feel abnormal.

mushypeasontoast · 02/08/2015 21:42

Judo would be good for fun. Starting at 15 is unlikely to lead to a career though.
The youngsters I know that are doing well in the rankings/ gb squad have been training for many years.
Ds1 trains 8hrs a week and that is less than those who are more serious (he is 15, has been in the sport for 10yrs and loves it, nowhere near the top atm but has been told he could make it if he commits more).
He loves the sport and has incredible strength and endurance.

itsaruddygame · 02/08/2015 22:15

I think young people should be encouraged to do whatever sport takes their fancy and I wouldn't rain on his parade or try to get him to focus on something else. The vast majority of people are not going to have the ability to be a professional in the sports they love but it doesn't stop a lifetime of enjoyment as a hobby with the associated health benefits and friendships.

Fwiw my DH is just 5'8" and played amateur basket ball to a high standard in the states. He is very fast and agile and worked hard on his skills. He toured with a local team and loved every minute.

SouthWestmom · 02/08/2015 22:22

My ds is short and has been seen since he was eight. I think any help has to have started earlyish but worth seeing a gp. I don't know enough about it tbh but it might depend on why you and your dh are short - ds has had lots of input and reassurance.

ssd · 02/08/2015 22:48

what can the gp do for a short child then? both dh and myself are short and ds is short, but whats the answer?

crazykat · 03/08/2015 07:47

Ssd I'm not sure of the exact process but my cousin had growth hormone injections for years. It was a long process, it started when he was about 8 and it only finished when he was mid 20s. He's average height now but without treatment would have been lucky to reach 5', my aunt is 5'2" and my uncles is 5'10", his siblings are all between 5'5" and 5'11". I don't know the exact problem but he had a defect in certain hormones which is what stunted his growth (without treatment).

Having said that, some people are just short and it's nothing to do with a medical problem, it's genetics and there will always be people who are shorter than average as well as taller than average.

Op I'd encourage your ds to play basketball, if he wants to be good then he needs to spend time playing in a team as well as working on jumping and shooting alone.

Only take him to the gp if he feels he wants to, they can do tests to see roughly what height he'll be when he stops growing, but as pp have said if it may make your ds feel like there's something wrong with him or he may be disappointed if he finds out he'll only grow a few more inches. Some people get growth spurts later than others and boys don't usually stop growing until 20/21, but as you and your dh are on the shorter side it's unlikely your ds will end up 6' due to genetics.

ssd · 03/08/2015 08:10

thanks crazycat, like you said I'm small and dh is pretty small so it stands to reason ds will be small.

Spartans · 03/08/2015 08:24

My friend had these injections, I believe 15 is too old to start them.

They wouldn't give them to the OPs son as he comes fra short family, so there isn't a problem as such, he just happens to be small. Thy are for people who are not growing to what should have been their natural height.

2 of my friends were small and both went through the process. One got them because his family were are 5ft 10 and up, the other didn't because his family were small and his height was his natural height.

TaylorQuifft · 03/08/2015 16:36

I agree with posters see gp

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