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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wearing white to a wedding.

100 replies

dilbert19912 · 01/08/2015 16:22

Is it bad etiquette for a guest to wear white at a wedding?
Bride is wearing an ivory dress.
I have chosen a white skirt but not sure now... thoughts on this anyone?

OP posts:

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 03/08/2015 08:16

Just got an image of someone turning up in a Thomas the tank engine costume then haha.
I'm guessing your guest turned up in a long flowing number with long train then cantbelieve in which case even I know she was unreasonable.

cantbelieveimonhere · 03/08/2015 08:31

think I would have preferred the Thomas the Tank engine costume!!!!

Queenbean · 03/08/2015 10:52

God I'm a bit paranoid now, I'm wearing this dress to a wedding - it's definitely ok isn't it?! Even though it's white with pattern on it?

TriJo · 03/08/2015 11:40

Queenbean I would think it would be fine - the blue and the pink on it are what stands out, white is just background.

calzone · 03/08/2015 11:41

I have no idea what anyone wore to my wedding!

Nor did I care.......

Queenbean · 03/08/2015 14:27

Thanks Trilj!

Queenbean · 03/08/2015 14:27

Woops, I meant TriJo!

Hygge · 03/08/2015 14:48

"Christ, who gives a fuck. I bet the bride isn't a virgin."

I thought the tradition of wearing white came about as Queen Victoria wore a white dress and started a fashion, and white was to symbolise christianity rather than virginity.

Before white became the most popular choice, brides who could afford to buy a new dress or have one made chose whatever colour they liked for their dress, brides who couldn't afford it just had to wear the best dress they owned already.

White is now just the most traditional colour and doesn't have anything to do with the bride being a virgin or a christian.

hibbleddible · 03/08/2015 15:52

To be safe I wouldn't.

If you are very keen on this outfit you could ask the bride if it is OK, but only if you are close enough to her to ask.

Queenbean · 03/08/2015 15:55

Hibbledibble is that directed at me or the OP?

hibbleddible · 03/08/2015 16:00

queen I would ask the bride to be safe. Her dress may not be plain white

Queenbean · 03/08/2015 16:05

I don't really know the bride, I am on the grooms side

I do know however that it is a super traditional wedding, so there is very little chance of her having a dress that isn't pure white / ivory etc!

noeffingidea · 03/08/2015 16:27

I would just wear it, Queenbean. A lot of summer dresses have some white on them. It's silly to think you have to avoid them because wedding dresses are mostly white.
When I looked at my wedding photos recently I noticed that quite a few guests (including my MIL) were wearing partly white outfits. Can't say I'd ever noticed or thought about it before

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 03/08/2015 16:55

Queenbean, if the wedding is super traditional, your dress will not be remotely similar to the bride's. If it isn't super traditional, unless the bride asks all the women to come in black bin bags, there will always be a chance that a guest will be dressed in a similar style to the bride. It seems reasonable to assume that a bride who is chilled enough to eschew the meringue look would take that in her stride!

Queenbean · 03/08/2015 18:53

Thanks chaps! Have purchased and will wear with gusto!

Original poster

dilbert19912 · 03/08/2015 20:16

I text the bride and she said to stop being daft she wouldn't care if I came In jeans and t-shirt as long as I'm there.

OP posts:

whois · 03/08/2015 21:30

I don't see anything wrong with a white skirt with a coral jacket. It doesn't look anything at all like a bridal outfit.

At my friends wedding, her older sister turned up in a really fight and long (almost with a train) gold sequin dress. Looked like she was trying to upstage the bride frankly.

ZazieSiddharta · 03/08/2015 22:48

Remember to order some sparkly pants too.

ShebaShimmyShake · 03/08/2015 22:52

It is very inappropriate to wear a full white outfit to any wedding except your own - unless you are a member of the bridal party and have been instructed to wear white.

A white skirt with a coloured top is probably acceptable, but I wouldn't risk it.

Then again, every single wedding I have ever been to had at least one person in a pint of Guinness dress (black skirt, white top). I think the ceremony isn't actually legally binding unless someone is wearing a pint of Guinness dress.

purplesprings · 03/08/2015 23:27

It's not necessarily the bride who'll get upset at a guest wearing white. I didn't give a toss what people wore to mine but (now) xmil wore white and not particularly bridal but people didn't stop talking about it for years. She did try to get me to choose a red wedding dress

MistressDeeCee · 04/08/2015 00:35

It sounds ok as only partially white outfit. But I think the fact you are faffing about wearing it so much is really telling. As if you want to make a statment by wearing it, but want to get the green light from comments here to do so. I can't think why. Its a skirt not a long white dress so just wear it. On the other hand I can't work out if you went out and bought this skirt with the wedding in mind..in which case again, you've deliberately chosen white and are now going on about it. Just wear it, or not. Nobody is going to look askance at a white skirt so whatever your intention in buying/wearing it is...you'll just be an outfit amongst the guests, as it were. You're not a bridesmaid are you

Glitteryfrog · 04/08/2015 09:43

What happens if the bride isn't wearing white?

noeffingidea · 04/08/2015 10:01

purplesprings yes, some people are gossips . So what? Why let people like that dictate our lives?
I actually feel a bit sorry for people who gossip about what other guests wear at other people's weddings. They must have really boring lives if that's all they have to talk about.

featherandblack · 04/08/2015 10:18

No it's not on to wear an outfit that could be described as white.

purplesprings · 04/08/2015 17:27

noeffingidea it seemed that people were either outraged on my behalf at her lack of manners or they felt she was attention seeking. I think you need to consider whether the bride would be upset (and some would be really offended) but if they don't mind and you have a thick skin then wear what makes you feel good.

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