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AIBU to want to extend house when DH wants to move to a better area?

22 replies

mofro · 01/08/2015 00:28

Please help! ME & DH having the same arguement/debates over and over and not moving forward - any advice appreciated!

So we've lived in our house for 11 years. It's a 3 bed terrace, big lounge, separate front room, 1 bathroom and small kitchen. Our lounge & front room are good sized rooms.

We've been talking about moving and have seen a few houses in our price range in better areas, but they're all smaller room sizes than ours.
Me and DH keep arguing as I complain about the rooms being too small while he's looking at moving to better area & with potential to extend etc - which we would'nt be able to afford to do for a while if we moved anyway.

AIBU to want to stay in an OK area and make our house bigger? We'd extend into the loft to create 2 beds and a bathroom and bigger kitchen & toilet downstairs - planning permission in place from 2 years ago when we last argued about it!

Kids are in good schools and I'm not looking to move them - he wants a house in a nice area and I want more space in the actual house.

Anyone had any similar arguments and how did you resolve them?

OP posts:

JointheJoyride · 01/08/2015 00:40

Not unreasonable either of you. How old is your current house? Do you want renovated old house and he wants new build?


JointheJoyride · 01/08/2015 00:42

Bear in mind if you go into loft you're comprising insulation by making it a habitable space so that heat (money) Ioss needs making up somewhere. Depends how old your current house is. Yes I'm a surveyor Grin


chamerion · 01/08/2015 00:45

Have others extended in the street like you want to? You could risk your house being too expensive for the area, when you want to sell.


JointheJoyride · 01/08/2015 00:49

Still want to know the age of your house! 1880s stone wall cottage or 1970s brick block bungalow!


mofro · 01/08/2015 01:11

@jointhejoyride its a 1930s build, fairly typical 3 bed terraced in an ok area - houses do tend to sell quickly and couple of agents weve had round have said it'll sell quickly once we put it on.
neighbours are all semis - we're the only terraced for some reason!
neighbours have extended @chamerion, adding bedrooms would def still add to sale price of our house - near train station and motorway so good links - another reason i want to stay and extend.
for context, house valued at between £150-£160k right now. 4 & 5 beds in the area going for £230-£250k. dh is a sparky and knows people in the trade so reckons it would cost £30k or less for all works.

OP posts:

Spartans · 01/08/2015 07:01

We are having the same debate here.

I want to move, back to where we lived. Its actually only a couple of miles but was close enough to the kids schools, town and my parents so I could walk to all these places. The kids bedroom is one bedroom, that we put a wall up in leaving 2 bedrooms so small they don't have their own wardrobes.

DH wants to remodel. We have spent a lot of time doing the garden (its quite big) and there are trees that we got when the kids were born and they cant be moved. With the remodel our house would be much bigger than we can afford where I want to go. It means we can give the kids bigger bedrooms and have a larger Kitchen and Dinning room. But I miss being able to walk everywhere. In our village there isn't even a local shop and no foot path directly out of the village. You have to walk around the village. A walk to school would be 6 miles, so no walking to school for us.

Neither of us, or you, are bu. Its not an easy one to solve.


araiba · 01/08/2015 07:08

better area every time


haveabreakhaveakitkat · 01/08/2015 07:20

Kids schooling would come first for me. Would you be able to keep them at the same school? How old are they? If secondary age, moving them could cause them some problems. If Primary age, it's not so bad but still an upheaval for them that you'd need to consider.


nailsathome · 01/08/2015 07:25

Doesn't planning permission only last for 2 years?

We are extending here as we will be able to have a bigger house for less money.


TheRealAmyLee · 01/08/2015 09:28

To me it would be entirely down to if I had issues with the current area. If current area had no real problems, good neighbours anx good schools I would extend. Otherwise I would move.


Bullshitbingo · 01/08/2015 09:35

We have exactly the same dilemma. But my dh and I are both unsure. Two things to consider:

  • If you did the work to yours, would you be able to recoup the full investment if you decide to sell in a few years?
  • if you move now you will be able presumably to afford a bigger house in a nicer area. If you stay and change your mind later house prices may have risen to a point where the next step up is much further out of your reach financially?

Personally I would buy the slightly smaller house in better area with a view to saving and doing the work when you can. It will be worth more in the long run, you can still add the space you need if you extend, and when you come to retire/downsize, your asset will be more valuable.

Having said all that, if you're happy where you are, why bother with the stress? Sorry not much help!

AnUtterIdiot · 01/08/2015 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scarlets · 01/08/2015 09:52

What's wrong with the area you're in?

Is the better area still close to DCs' school and friends?


scarlets · 01/08/2015 09:54

Ah, just saw that it's close to their school.

So for me, it depends on what wrong with the current area and whether there's a market for bigger nicer houses there (when you come to sell).


70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/08/2015 09:55

£30k for work (and I'm Envy having spent ££ on an extension a few years ago)

DH and I considered moving (not far but nearer town) but the houses were smaller, smaller gardens.
And when we added up the fees and moving cost (and the money it would cost to get our house ready) we stayed.

If you can do it all (and stay sane with all the mess'n'rubble) then I'd stay put.
Are your NDNs good?


DebbieFiderer · 01/08/2015 09:58

Why not suggest getting the work done so that you have more equity to fund a move, and then quietly forget the plan to move hope he decides the enlarged house is so nice he doesn't want to move any more? ;)


GrannyWW · 01/08/2015 10:08

As above do the work now and its a win win - profit and dh will probably love the space and want to stay as well or you will at least have more money to move with


Oliversmumsarmy · 01/08/2015 10:21

The way you describe the area as only "an ok area" comes across as though the area is going down not up. I would move whilst you can. It will cost the same to extend wherever you are.


Getthewonderwebout · 01/08/2015 10:27

I'd move. The houses in your budget may be smaller now but with potential to extend you will at a point in the future have a good sized house in a good area.

You could extend your current house but it won't change the area. There's also the risk of over extending a small house making it just feel like a warren.


CalleighDoodle · 01/08/2015 11:39

Id move too. Location will always sell better than house.


mofro · 01/08/2015 11:51

Thanks for the replies guys - feels good to know we're not alone!
@Bullshitbingo i think that's the exact dilemma! move now to smaller house and do work there long term to create more space (hard to find decent sized houses with potential in our budget) OR stay and extend. We 'should' be able to recoup what we invest in the work, market conditions depending of course! It's a popular area with people upsizing from other areas so it'll sell quickly if we do well- they tend to go in a few weeks.
@70lisa - snap! DH says its worth the lack of space to get better area but have great (quiet) neighbours on one side and other side are great - kids play together, borrow food off each other etc, driveway with parking for both cars, wide road etc.

We do keep ourselves to ourselves to tbh go to work in car, kids go to their activities mainly by car although oldest is now using bus to school. DS2 wil be starting secondary this year and diff school to DS1 and in opposite directions - but both about equal distance from where we are now, so another plus for staying put!

Think it's more the 'fear of missing out' esp for DH! we've lived here for 11 years, it's the only property we have and he feels we should be progressing in some way, e.g extending, better area or even an investment maybe a bit of keeping up with the jones'/family going on too if I'm honest!

Thanks for your comments guys - plenty of food for thought :)

OP posts:

haveabreakhaveakitkat · 01/08/2015 13:18

We've lived in a semi in a 'not so good' area for 20 years. Many times we considered a move but busied ourselves adding value. We've extended to make it a 4 bed/3 bath added a conservatory and workshop and have made adjustments to the whole house, regularly updated bathrooms, kitchen etc. The only add on to the mortgage was for the conservatory, everything else was saved for and paid in cash. We've seen friends and family move to smarter areas and bigger homes and have been quite envious at times that they have 'moved higher up the ladder' so to speak. But those people have large mortgages and will be paying a mortgage long after we've paid ours off. We plan to move when the youngest finishes secondary school (excellent school 5 mins walk from our house) in 7 years and will be mortgage free by then so will have the option to downsize if the older two have gone by then... Hmm

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