AIBU to not spend every w/e this summer at birthday parties....

[SusanHollander]

We've spent waaaay to much of our time and weekends at parties for kids this summer already. We have another tomorrow and have been invited to three next weekend. We have two under three year olds and birthday parties for four year olds and under are, to date, hellish. If we could drop and run it would be one thing but the sitting around watching kids consume too much sugar, fight, cry or go hyper is fairly horrific.

WIBU to not go to any of the ones next w/e as we feel we're just making up numbers, our kids aren't besties with any of the kids (don't even know who one of them is from nursery!) and we are sick of spending every weekend recently hanging out with kids high on sugar......

Not at all, just decline.

Is it not a good way for you to meet other parents? Esp if these children are going to be with yours going onto school.

How disappointed would your DC be?
Do you have something nice you rather do?

But, your choice either way.

Have you already said you're going? If so you need to go, really. There was a mum at the school nursery who's dc always seemed to have a mysterious 'stomach bug' on the day of parties, only to be fully recovered the very next day. Very annoying if you've already paid.

And if they are that young and you are there, you supervise the sugar intake.

I think YANBU but I got flamed for saying so on a different thread last week.

I have teens and a 3 year old so using up the middle of a weekend day regularly for a birthday party where neither me nor my DD is close to the birthday boy or girl is an imposition for me. I think you do need to go if you accept but I often decline.

I was more conscientious with the older 2 but whole class parties only really happen in early years and having got off the list one year due to holiday commitments it was liberating. My older dds are much better at friendship choices because their DM inadvertantly stopped maintaining their position with the in crowd. Read the teen DD threads if you need any insight into the advantages of this.

I feel your pain op. I am naturally inclined to let dd go to all b day parties but it does interfere with doing thjngs as a family .

Dd had to miss a party the other week as I had a re union with my own friends planned - I did feel guilty (but am.prone to guilt!).

I have a child with an August birthday and so we had loads of acceptance when invites went out just before nursery broke up for the summer and then the few days before we would have loads of cancellations and on the day people just not turning up.
I can see why people get 'party fatigue' as I feel the same about losing all my weekends to running around events.
It was so disappointing for my DS though who had got all excited about a big party (15 children so not THAT big) and then only 3 or 4 turn up :(

I decided not to bother anymore. We stripped it down to him just doing something with 3 other friends and it cut out the disappointment factor for him.

YANBU at all though. I love weekends where we have no plans and can just chill out or go with the flow.
I think sometimes people lose sight of the fact that it's not just their child with a summer party and that people just don't want to or are not able to commit to every party they get invited to in the summer.

Queenrollo Ds has an August birthday and the same thing happened so we've had his party before the end of term when everyone seems to have more stamina and an emptier calendar for parties.

Op- It's rude to accept then cancel unless there's an emergency but totally acceptable to decline parties even though you haven't got other plans.

Dh and I take it in turns to take dc to parties. Luckily the DDs are at the age where drop n run is acceptable and expected. I really hate kids parties.

Depends whether you've accepted or not. If you don't want o go and the children aren't close then just be upfront in advance when you get the invite so the birthday girls mum knows the score and can plan accordingly.

I agree you don't have to go to every party if you don't want to especially if you have something to do. Personally, unless we have other plans, I try and go as my DS bloody loves them and I just suck up the headache/sheer boredom. If he wasn't too bothered then I probably wouldn't but bear in mind there may be some poor Ds like queenrollos on the end of your decision and other parents may return the lack of effort when it comes to your DCs because that's how petty people can be. Oh the joys of greasing the 'party scene' wheel

No I haven't accepted, I would never accept and then not turn up, that's so unfair on the kids and parents! I've declined one, and the other two are on at the same time - one of them I don't know who the kid is and the other, the kid isn't nice at all to my DCs. My kids don't even know about the parties yet so they won't be disappointed.

I may go to the nursery party even though I don't know the child in question because as someone pointed out, they may end up in said child's class. The other two aren't in the area as such and kids def won't be at their school but are in their social group as I'm friends with the mums from a class I attend and we socialise occasionally. So it's going to be tough to go to one and not the other anyway. One of the parties is a really active one where the parents all get involved and I genuinely can't be arsed.

I know it's harsh but in my family alone there are SEVEN summer birthdays amongst the kids. Chuck in a load from nursery and other social circles and we're going crazy!

Oh no - two aren't on at the same time. So if we go to all of them that's every weekend for the last 6 or so at a party.....!