Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to switch off when DD2 starts talking about her latest obsession

82 replies

ghostyslovesheep · 31/07/2015 09:08

Drives me mad - she doesn't just like things she becomes utterly obsessive - and talks endlessly about it - Pokamon, Moshi Monsters, Football, Minecraft...

Currently it's Hamsters - she has save up money to buy one (I haven't said she can) she's been online for days researching them and even got herself a little cage (on the pretence of it being for the guinea pig when she had it in her room)

I love the little loony madly but she's been talking hamster facts for 2 days straight and I am going mad!

OP posts:

ApprenticeViper · 31/07/2015 10:43

DSD was like this with Moshi Monsters about four years ago. She would try and shoehorn something, anything, about Moshi Monsters or Moshlings (I hate myself for even remembering that word!) into every single conversation. She got very upset when DP told her to cut it out because it wasn't interesting to adults. Fortunes were spent on everything Moshi, and I remember saying to her that she would grow out of it before long, to which her response was that she never would, and even when she was an adult she would still love them. Of course, fast forward six or eight months and all Moshi-ness was forgotten.

Yes, it's annoying for as long as the obsession lasts, but DSD is now 12 and not really into anything - no boybands, no games, no hobbies. It's a bit sad to see her so passionless about everything, so I suppose I'm saying be a bit careful what you wish for.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/07/2015 10:47

YANBU in the slightest. I do the same to DS1 when he starts on about Pokémon. I made a massive mistake early on by knowing Pikachu's name, and admitting I used to watch it when I was a lot younger - now it's assumed that I need to discuss the latest card he has, who his current favourite is, who my favourite is, who Daddy's favourite is, which one do I think he is most like, which one am I most like, which one is DS2 most like... you get the picture.

I've dealt with the pet issue (he wants a dog, I don't want one because I'm not a fan and I just know I'll be the one doing all its care) by telling him that if he pesters me about it one more time then he'll NEVER get one. So far it's worked.

But the other stuff - waaah!

QueenofallIsee · 31/07/2015 10:48

I have to do this as well OP, its self preservation as both DS2 and DD are like this. It can go on for hours and hours. DD being 17 means I can now say 'bored now love' and have her laugh and say 'oops, am I going on!'

DS2 though, he genuinely thinks that the information he is sharing is priceless...he also thinks that I glaze over as I do not understand, his pity is palpable. I am ok with that.

givemushypeasachance · 31/07/2015 10:57

I'm another adult who confesses to this tendency - for as long as I can remember I've always had a "current obsession" which I'm fixated on, and if given free reign would spend most of my free time and energy dedicated to it. As a kid and teenager I'm sure I bored family and friends a lot with talking about them, and now as an adult it's only that I've finally managed to install some self control and manner that I can stop myself still just constantly bringing it up as a subject with people who don't care.

I'd still like to make most conversations about whatever the current obsession is, but thankfully the internal voice saying "stop boring everyone else!" kicks in!

Ally1234 · 31/07/2015 11:02

I have been a really cruel mummy and informed ds1 that i really don't care. but he doesn't listen though and continues to talk non-stop about minecraft and the latest video he has watched about it on youtube. he will talk non-stop for hours every day about it. i try zoneing out, i don't understand it, but he keeps going on and on and on and on about me playing it and having a turn and doing this that and the other. and no matter how much i tell him no i don't want to play, i have other things to do, i don't know how to play (he will teach me), and then i reach the point that i might actually cry if i have to listen to any more. I tell him i love that he has found something he loves and is so passionate about, but we are all different and all like different things and i do not like minecraft and do not want to play and i really don't care about minecraft. he still goes on about it though......

Egosumquisum · 31/07/2015 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKoala · 31/07/2015 11:07

It could be worse. It could be your DH

Pagwatch · 31/07/2015 11:10

I have learnt to listen for as long as possible and then say
'Sweetheart. I love listening to you and I love talking about stuff but you have been talking about for 2 hours and I'm full. Can we talk about something else now'

I'm not sure it's actually helpful to listen patiently endlessly. Children need to learn social clues.

I always listen attentively and then stop as kindly as I can.
I think a child thinking that an adult being silent and inattentive constitutes normal communication is confusing.

I know I sound po faced and I too have attended for hours to small children going on about stuff because I love them. But tuning out stops being helpful when they are a bit older.

TeeManyMartoonis · 31/07/2015 11:13

As a child I used to do this as a wearing-down technique. I thought if I kept on it would a)show I knew my stuff and I was therefore responsible b) show that I was enthusiastic and c) eventually grind my parents down until they relented out of sheer exhaustion.

If you haven't said no perhaps tell her what your thinking on the hamster is? Eg yes/absolutely not/ maybe (but give clear reasons for maybe) then make it clear that she needs to stop talking about hamsters! She might stop if she knows where she stands a bit more (that came across as critical and it certainly wasn't meant to be - sorry if so)

KittensOnAPlane · 31/07/2015 11:14

my oldest does this - i dip in and out of the conversation, and occasionally repeat back a sentence... seems to be working (i dont really want to know about XXXX - not putting what it is in case it outs me! lol)

LooseSeal · 31/07/2015 11:32

DD is into facts, mostly culled from Horrible History/Science/geography books and the Guiness book of records. At least fifty percent of her sentences start with "mummy, did you know...". Even her report noted that she was "full of worldly knowledge which she likes to share with the rest of the class", although they left out saying she shares he knowledge whether the class actually wants to hear it or not.

Unfortunately DH is even worse, he has a habit of regurgitating TV documentaries he's watched, usually about cars, planes, big ships or big buildings, verbatim. I did try telling him that the fact I'd chosen not to watch it in the first place possibly suggests I have no interest in the subject, so a second hand account of the programme is not required. But he got huffy so now I've perfected a smile and nod and think about other things technique.

Pensfriends · 31/07/2015 11:40

I have this too. Currently it's obsessions with YouTube gamers, minecraft, skylanders and sonic. I used to love to be able to look blankly while they talked at me but now they ask questions too! Luckily they're going to their dads tomorrow for a whole week and I'm counting the seconds until they go

SheGotAllDaMoves · 31/07/2015 11:47

I think pag is right.

There comes a time when we need to teach our DC not to be boring. Bores do not usually do well in life. Obviously, our pain thresholds will be higher than the average punter (and I think it's OK for DC to understand that tap into that) but there is a line...

Roomba · 31/07/2015 11:53

Oh god, this is DS1 and Minecraft... he can talk AT me for hours about mods! Not even sure he cares if I am listening half the time. Then he will just stop and ask me to repeat what he's just been saying - argh!

His father wil not listen to any conversation about Minecraft, or any other obsession DS1 has had for that matter, so it seems to be me who gets the brunt of it all. I am interested to know what he is interested on, and why, but there's only so much I need to know about it. For DS though, it seems to be how he can process all this information and his own feelings about things, just talking it through with someone else... so I don't stop him, but try and encourage him to learn good conversational habits whilst doing it i.e. realise not everyone wants to know about it, how to spot someone is bored, letting others take turns and asking what they are interested in, listening to the other person too.... not sure how much of it is sinking in though!

TattyDevine · 31/07/2015 12:02

My Aunt has done this her whole life. She's now 72 and still does it. She almost definitely has aspergers (never diagnosed, wrong location/generation but she's textbook!) so that's her excuse (obviously people who don't have aspergers do this too and probably some who do have it don't) but it does my head in.

She lives in New Zealand but I get the phone call every 2-3 weeks and brave it out for about 55 minutes before I can get away!

She's hilarious and I do have enormous affection for her but I do sometimes have to count the number of times she mentions whatever her latest obsession is.

Plus she tends to get inappropriate crushes on "safe" men who are unlikely to want a relationship. She's never had a relationship with a man, but she's stuck in the early teenage type mentality where she'll get a safe crush (like girls who like band members etc).

Funny trait! Tiring at times, and amusing.

fedupandsickofeverything · 31/07/2015 13:02

Dd1 has aspergers and I have to learn to tune out for the sake of my sanity. Current obsession is animals, we have at present a rabbit, hamster and a budgie and are cycling a fish tank ready to be stocked so all I'm getting is discussions about the sort of fish she wants and how to look after them. I like fish but not enough to talk about them all day

TheyreMadITellYouMaaaad · 31/07/2015 13:59

Oh the school reports! Both my boys keep getting "Excellent general knowledge, which they are not afraid to share". Yes, I know what that means.

trickleupeffect · 31/07/2015 17:12

Oh, thanks be to the heavens someone else has this problem! My ds has ASD and I have spent weeks being followed everywhere while being asked the same core 12 questions from Horrible Histories quiz show Gory Games. I am teaching him to swim and he shouts the same multiple choice and true/false questions up and down the pool. I haven't felt this under pressure since a colleague got on 15-1 and used to sidle up to me asking things like "What's the capital of Mongolia?" at the most inopportune moments.... I certainly cannot disown his trait, I have my own habits, still listen obsessively to a song that I like, even as an adult. At least now I have an iPod and headphones...

RabidFairy · 31/07/2015 17:27

I'm 30 in a month and I have had obsessions all my life. Lord of the Rings was a big one when the films were coming out...
I also suffer with anxiety.

My DD is 6 and goes through fairly short phases of favourite things but she doesn't get too obsessed. I'm happy to chat Minecraft with her as I play, too, what annoys me is hearing her chat to her best friend about it for him to automatically respond with "yeah, I know". He always acts like he knows everything and I have had to say to DD on more than one occasion "actually X is mistaken about that" as DD believes everything he says. It just seems so unfair that she can never be the one to deliver new information or for him to show any interest in what she has to say. Not to mention that she introduced him to Minecraft in the first place not that I'm too invested or bitter.

CrohnicallyAspie · 31/07/2015 18:00

ghostys doesn't have Asperger's because she's too social and chatty? Come over to the neurodiversity thread in SN recommendations! We're a social, chatty bunch of adult women with suspected or diagnosed ASD or ADHD.

Amberdiamond · 31/07/2015 18:01

My eldest ds is football obsessed, he can bring every conversation back onto football. It is driving me daft!

hunkermunker · 31/07/2015 18:03

So, what will you call the new hamster?

Mrsjayy · 31/07/2015 18:09

Dd has sn she has obsessions it drives me nuts although i did tell her toshut it be quiet when it was bemedict cumberbatch and sherlock creepy fecker i hate him. Seriously though its fine to stop listening and engaging sometimes

YouTheCat · 31/07/2015 18:10

Dd is an Aspie. She's 20. She still does the endless talk of Pokemon or whatever other thing she's into.

Ghosty, I reckon your lovely cats would enjoy a hamster very much. Would your dd not be happy with a virtual one instead?

Mrsjayy · 31/07/2015 18:12

Currently its jared letto who is going to be in the new batman film as the joker its articles and pictures and constant chat its exhausting

Flip

1 2 3 4