Wedding invite, Bali

[LondonLady29]

A few weeks ago DP told me one of his friends (who one year ago emigrated to Australia) is getting married in Bali next summer and we are invited. We started planning a holiday. Yesterday the invite came with only DPs name on, no mention of me so I told him I'm not invited. He said he was sure if been mentioned in a text before and today checked with the groom who said I was invited to the evening do only not the main wedding.

So the couple expect us to travel to Bali and I hang around alone all day there (I won't know anyone else going), and DP will be at the wedding and I'll show up on the evening. I think it's the height of rudeness and I'm astounded at how crass this is. IMO it's worse than no invite. What does everyone else think?

[Northernlurker]

The update I'm hanging on for is the one where the current dh gets to know about the wedding to somebody else that the OP is planning Because why else would you need bridesmaids?

[MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself]

It's a bit confusing isn't it NL? Married three years ago but only choosing bridesmaids now?

[ralphlauren]

Can't stop laughing at Coco requests that they get the shits on their big day!

[cocobean2805]

Thanks Ralph

[cleanmyhouse]

I agree pelvic it is a bit confusing

[iamanintrovert]

Yes I was also going to suggest that you originally weren't even invited to the evening do, otherwise that would have been on the written invitation.

I think it's rude. I'm middle aged and in my day we would always have invited a couple even if we only knew one of them.

[GobblersKnob]

Dammit, pelvic and Nl, I just spent the whole of my mid-morning cup of tea on this thread.

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

Unbelievably rude If I were the Bride and Groom, I would be embarrassed to send out and invitation like that. I think that if you are asking someone to travel so far then it's a whole day invite. Don't get angry, just refuse to go.

[SinglePringle]

I think they are still DPs to each other, together 3 years and the second DH was a typo. That's how I read it b

[CalmYourselfTubbs]

YANBU.
they are hugely rude and quite honestly come across as entirely ignorant.

they deserve each other. hopefully they'll stay married to each other for a lifetime and won't spread their cuntiness to other partners.
i would not go. fuck that.
anyway - bali isn't that good.
much nicer tropical beaches elsewhere.

[ralphlauren]

In fact Coco, if I was OP and decided to go it would be my aim to make sure they had they did get the shits, just for my own delight payback

[ListenWillYou]

is all have to say

[TheGonnagle]

Wow that's rude.
But in Bali's defence (somewhere I love dearly and have friends) only the south of the island is shockingly hideous and like Magaluf (Kuta really really is horrible), a lot of the island is unutterably lovely.
But they can definitely fuck right off with the weird passive aggressive invite thing!

[TheBobbinIsWound]

Wow.
That's hideous. How unbelievably rude of his "friends"

I thought that if you were expecting people to spend hundreds on flights, take serious holiday (not just allocate a weekend) and to fly thousands of miles to attend your wedding then you invited them to everything. TBH I think that rule would apply to traveling to Ireland (am in London)

They're unbelievably rude and crass. My DP wouldn't go if we were in that position. I wouldn't ask him not to, I just know that he wouldn't consider it because he's too polite.

The "friends" can fuck the fuck off and you and your DP book a lovely holiday somewhere you are planning to go to and preferably over their wedding dates.

[wafflyversatile]

I do think it is rude but you either want a holiday in bali or you don't. If you do then go and have a nice chilled out day relaxing in your own company for a few hours. If you don't, don't go. As with any wedding it's an invitation not a summons.

[FishWithABicycle]

It's massively rude to invite in this way to an overseas wedding - they have to realise they are requesting you spend your entire year's holiday budget on their wedding - tbf that ought to mean some hospitality laid on the day before and after as well as the full wedding day. An evening-do-only invite is insane. However, any upgrade you got now would clearly be a begrudged pity-invite and you wouldn't feel welcome, so personally I still wouldn't go.

[DiamondsInTheFlesh]

That's so rude. They've not pre-planned to invite you to just the evening do though because originally they didn't want you at all. I wouldn't go somewhere I'm not wanted but I would go with dp to Bali, have a lovely holiday & he can go off for 1 day to the wedding while you skip it altogether & spa it out. My idea of bliss and a little snub to them not to go at all even though you're in the country

[MissDemelzaCarne]

Weddings seem to turn some people batshit crazy, that's beyond rude!

[sunshinerunner]

It really is the Balinese that makes Bali so wonderful, saying it's like Magaluf is like saying the whole of Spain is horrible based on that one resort. Bit small minded. Kuta is dreadful but there are some truly gorgeous places and as I said the people are so lovely.

[TheGonnagle]

I'm with sunshine