Wedding invite, Bali

[LondonLady29]

A few weeks ago DP told me one of his friends (who one year ago emigrated to Australia) is getting married in Bali next summer and we are invited. We started planning a holiday. Yesterday the invite came with only DPs name on, no mention of me so I told him I'm not invited. He said he was sure if been mentioned in a text before and today checked with the groom who said I was invited to the evening do only not the main wedding.

So the couple expect us to travel to Bali and I hang around alone all day there (I won't know anyone else going), and DP will be at the wedding and I'll show up on the evening. I think it's the height of rudeness and I'm astounded at how crass this is. IMO it's worse than no invite. What does everyone else think?

[CrystalCove]

Of course it's rude! Whether you can occupy yourself during the day or not is totally irrelevant - who invites a guest half way round the world for just a wedding evening do anyway?!

[TRexingInAsda]

He can help it, ancient he can not go!

[Yarp]

Wow, that's very thoughtless of them. Presumably they forgot that some people would be flying half way round the world at their own expense ...

[candlesandlight]

Yes it's rude, unreasonable , inconsiderate, selfish etc etc etc....
If I had the money and was planning a holiday anyway ....I would go somewhere else, and tell them to stuff the evening invitation

[ChorusLine69]

Ridiculous! Beyond rude????

[Yarp]

Mind you, if you are happy to go to Bali, it's better than a poke in the eye with a shitty stick

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

If you are good enough to make the journey to be there for their wedding it is disgustingly tight of them not to stretch to a daytime invite.

Id still go, and have a wonderful holiday amd just send dh off to the wedding that day and night. Id not mix with them the rest of the trip either. rude buggers.

[cdtaylornats]

While its kind of rude I would be happy with a day to enjoy myself while everyone else is stuck at the wedding. Just lie by the pool downing cocktails then pass out and don't make it to the reception.

[CleverPlansAndSecretTricks]

Shocking behaviour! I would suggest he seriously reevaluate his friendship with them. In my experience if you have travelled half way across the world to be there you usually get invited to EVERYTHING (even functions that would usually be close family only) and mentioned several times in the wedding speeches!

[Diamondjoan]

Definitely go to Bali, it's amazing, but don't bother with the wedding, the guy's got no class.

[TheRealAmyLee]

I find it incredibly rude because:
It's a very long way to travel for an evening do.
You are married. It's not like you are a short term fixture who won't be around next week.

[JammyGeorge]

You think you've heard it all then this!

An evening invite in Bali? That's unreal.

We got married abroad and were that happy people made the effort we laid on a meal the night before and all food & drinks & entertainment all day for everyone as well as refusing wedding gifts.

Our parents raised a few eyebrows but our attitude was if people have made the effort (and taken the expense) to come we are gonna pay a few extra hundred quid to lay on a good do.

The mind boggles.

[Yarp]

Surely it would be a bit - er- awkward for the B & G in the days before and after the wedding? I know pre-wedding madness sometimes happens and people forget their manners. I think seeing you there at the hotel might focus their minds a bit

[badg3r]

i wish I could have been a fly on the wall to their conversation when they were planning the guest list!! How the he'll did they come up with that plan?! Catastrophically rude. But it's Bali. If you like them otherwise I would totally go. (actually... may be that's how the chat went... )

[Verypissedoffwife]

That's the worst wedding behaviour I've ever heard of on here (and there have been some absolute shockers!).

No way would I be going. Sure - I bet Bali's lovely but so are many other places. Absolutely no way!

[Dynomite]

I showed this to DP (we're in the middle of wedding planning ourselves and are having a wedding abroad) and he said he would be insulted and would tell the groom he should amend the invitation or he wouldn't go.
I mean, we are talking thousands of pounds of joint money and a waste of holiday days. And you're not even invited to the whole thing. That's soooo offensive to you both.

[Dynomite]

Seriously,Bali is lovely but you should just go the two of you at a time and hotel of your choosing. It would be so unbelievably awkward for you there in the run up to the wedding. No way would we waste our vacation days on that!!!

[LondonLady29]

Thanks all I'm genuinely astounded and offended in equal measure. It wouldn't have been half as bad if we were both evening guests but knowing that guests won't cost them much during the day versus the expense of the trip from UK disgusts me!

I've asked DP what he intends to do, he says he either goes to the full thing with me or not at all thank goodness. Turns out when he spoke to the groom earlier DP pre-empted my reaction and left it with the groom "going away to see if he can work things out". This is apparently after a long conversation with the groom explaining why they can't accommodate me at the day ceremony. The thing is, now I feel like I won't be able to stand being in the same room as these people and I couldn't care less about going, but don't want to ruin it for DP IYSWIM.

Oh and the B&G included in the invitation that they and their families will be holidaying in the resort for two weeks and they want guests to join them. One day would be bad enough never mind some extended trip feeling unwanted and unwelcome!

[lemoncordial]

The bride and groom have some nerve. I agree op, even if they did deign to invite you to the whole thing I wouldn't want to go at all, and wouldn't want my dh to go either.

[AmazonsForEver]

Bali is fantastic- best place I've ever been. Forget the wedding and go anyway! Scuba is awesome in warm water with the most amazing wildlife.

[Kiwiinkits]

FGS it's BALI!!! Don't get your knickers in a knot, it doesn't sound like this person is your friend anyway? So enjoy a day by yourself on the beach drinking a cocktail from a coconut! '
God, the things people get pissed off about. Some of you need a grip.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Utterly ridiculous. IME these types of weddings tend to involve everyone hanging out and having a holiday together with a wedding in the middle. Not being told to only turn up to one bit of one day . Since people will be paying thousands, it seems unbelievable to exclude someone from part of the day. I honestly wouldn't go now anyway if I were you.

I wanted to go to Bali so badly but the bomb went off a few days before we were supposed to travel there form SE Asia and insurance wouldn't cover us. I had just been in hospital with Dengue so didn't want to go without cover. Very sad. I may never get there...

[Zucker]

An evening invitation to a wedding in Bali! That's hilarious. I wonder how they justified that decision when doing up the invites. Some people just lose all sense when weddings rear their heads.

[AyeAmarok]

Wow. A whole new level of rudeness!

Don't go, either of you. Book yourselves a trip to Barbados or something at the same time and enjoy yourselves.

[libertychick]

I got married in Bali. It's really cheap! They are rude and mean.