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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I should have been able to buy half a drink??

205 replies

Edenviolet · 28/07/2015 23:44

Went out today and for a treat went to a cafe as dd1 and dd2 wanted a drink

Dd1 chose hers and dd2 decided she would like a creamy fruit type drink. Dd2 has type 1 diabetes so we went on the website to work out the carbs in a small drink, it was quite a lot so thought I'd get her half a small drink instead but this proved to be quite a problem
The first person said no when I requested exactly half of a small drink ( they could do it as all measurements are on the jugs etc). I asked why and was told 'no we can't do custom drinks" so I asked to see the manager and was told "no we can't do half" and "I don't know what to charge for half a small drink"

I suggested that perhaps half the cost of a small drink might be a good figure but was told again "no, we can't do it"
I explained again why we needed just half and said could I not just pay for a small drink but they just measure half instead. "No"again?

By this point dd2 was getting upset so I said "ok I will have a small drink and please can I have an extra cup?" To which they replied "no, just one cup" and I had had to then virtually beg for the drink to be split equally between two cups. Ridiculous

Yet again, dd has been upset and something simple like getting a drink has been complicated by diabetes and she is getting more and more negative about things due to incidents like this

Surely I should have been able to buy half a drink? Or at the very least a small one split into two cups without having to beg?!

OP posts:

Original poster

Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 07:36

We do sometimes blend up her breakfast yogurt and berries if she's bored of it (which happens a lot) and she has that as a 'smoothie' but she asked for a costa drink and I honestly though it was better to try and teach her the 'diabetes doesn't mean you have to cut any food out' rather than 'diabetes means you can't have x,y,z food' and I obviously misjudged it as didn't realise there would be an issue with the half a drink/spare cup etc

OP posts:

ShatnersBassoon · 29/07/2015 07:36

That's fair enough, do what you need to do. But you can't expect cafe staff to feel able to guarantee the same level of precision.

Sirzy · 29/07/2015 07:39

I think as hard as it is it is easier to learn that you can't have certain things than create a level of angst and confusion around them. I think that is often the hardest part of a disability for children to adapt to and the best thing to do is try to help them understand what they can have and when.

BrianButterfield · 29/07/2015 07:43

I'm amazed places are so picky about extra cups. I've asked for, and been given with a smile, extra cups at McDonald's quite a few times for various reasons (cup of water for a toddler/cup of warm water to heat a jar of food/extra cup of milk to cool down porridge). Never had to argue to get it. Half the price of Costa too.

Original poster

Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 07:43

Agree sirzy it was a misjudgement on my part. It was ok the previous time and I didn't anticipate it being an issue so was probably over confident that it could just be a drink out somewhere and all diabetes would have to do with itbwould be a quick finger check and use the pump! Ended up a bit different to what I expected though

OP posts:

ThursdayLast · 29/07/2015 07:43

When I worked in a cafe, the smoothies were made from pre-chopped and portioned bags of frizen fruit. If this is the case there, then not only would it be difficult to halve that bag of fruit as accurately as you required, but it would also have left half a bag unpaid for.
It most independents that probably wouldn't matter, but I don't think franchise employees have much wiggle room with costings and stick takes and the like.

The awkwardness to do with the two cups was probably just their reaction to what they felt was a deliberately awkward customer.

I'd just vote with your feet and not bother going back there in future.

DoreenLethal · 29/07/2015 07:45

WBVU to expect them to serve you 'half a drink' at half price! Of course they can't do this. Imagine if everyone started asking for 'half a small drink' for their small children.

Yes i heard tell that someone did this once, and the whole town imploded. Not nice.

News flash - nothing will happen if people start asking fr half drinks at half price. Apart from people getting their knickers in a twist about a very very minor issue.

LilacWine7 · 29/07/2015 07:46

Just because they met your request last time doesn't mean they will do so again. You're asking them a favour, they have no obligation to split drinks or start measuring. Maybe last time you were served by the manager or a senior barista who felt comfortable adapting the menu for you? Or maybe they were less busy last time. It's also possible someone met your request but got into trouble for it. Or that their policy has changed.

As others have said, it's not their responsibility to precisely measure a drink, which could make a child ill if they get it wrong or the jug isn't accurate. Why would you put pressure on them when they said no?

kaftanlady · 29/07/2015 07:54

YANBU. The least they could have done is give you an extra cup.

There's an independent cafe near me that refused to give me one piece of cheese on toast - they would only do two.

It annoyed me so much I never went back! Back in my pre child days my friends and I often met in cafes for breakfast at the weekends so they lost out on a fair amount for being so rigid and silly about it. In an independent place like that it comes down to bad management IMO with the boss not empowering staff to make their own decisions. Even more so in a place like Costa.

Most independent places would accommodate a simple request like this IME.

The lesson? Another reason to avoid the likes of Costa / Starbucks if at all possible IMO!

SaltySeaBird · 29/07/2015 07:55

I don't think you can expect to have half a drink at half the price, but they should have easily facilitated half a drink at full price.

Getting worked up though makes the diabetes a bigger thing than it has to be. I'm diabetic myself and can't even imagine how hard it must be to treat and manage a diabetic child

candlesandlight · 29/07/2015 08:00

Agree that they were unreasonable not to give you a second d cup.however if I had a child with specific needs I would have had a measuring kit with me, 50ml measuring jugs are available which would fit neatly into a handbag.
I think it's a bit unfair for the staff in Costa to be slated , sounds like you may have got very agitated very quickly when they wouldn't give you half a small drink.maybe next time just buy the small drink and ask for an extra cup.

CactusAnnie · 29/07/2015 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArgyMargy · 29/07/2015 08:03

I think Hedgehog is doing a great job - a 5 year old on a pump is a scary, difficult, stressful thing. Although she says the hospital team are brilliant they have effectively created this situation by insisting everything is weighed and measured down to the last gram. I imagine this is temporary until her body adjusts to the pump? Otherwise I agree this could lead to big problems for the mother-daughter relationship. Perhaps asking for more input from the clinical team about bringing in a more relaxed approach would help.

WoonerismSpit · 29/07/2015 08:27

Was it a smoothie that you had last time? Did they only charge you half then?

HSMMaCM · 29/07/2015 08:33

It's the school holidays and they've probably had a million teenagers in, splitting drinks, etc and they've had enough of it. The suggestion of asking for a cup of tap water is a good way to get around the extra cup problem.

TwistedReach · 29/07/2015 08:37

Really feel for you (and can't believe the lack of empathy in other posts). I think they were being very u to not give you another cup. Unkind. This sort of thing is what makes life so much harder than it already has to be for people with disabilities.

Theas18 · 29/07/2015 08:37

It's like the thread about people buying a pit of tea " for one" and two cups, or a cream tea (2 scones) and 2 plates isn't it.

Ultimately they are a business and need to make money. In big chains the people behind the counter have very little flexibility to do anything non standard and I bet cup wastage is even accounted for.

Original poster

Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 08:49

Yes last time we went it was the same drink

We will always have to weigh food whilst dd is on a pump, all that changes as she grows is the settings on the pump will be adjusted which we do every few weeks if needed as she's grown or due to illness etc. for the pump to work the carbs and blood sugar need to be entered when dd eats

It's unavoidable that dd knows we weigh her food as whatever she has needs to be calculated, obviously for packed lunches I do it the night before and just pop a note in her bag, same for her fruit at break time, it's weighed and put in her book bag. At home though she sees us weighing and measuring everything

OP posts:

Original poster

Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 08:51

They did give us another cup in the end and split the drink equally but it was the fact I had to beg for it that was difficult. I really wasn't expecting it as last time they were so accommodating

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WoonerismSpit · 29/07/2015 08:51

Did they just make up half for you? Or did they do the tipping?

Purplepoodle · 29/07/2015 08:56

My friend isn't pump controlled and much older but when we were teens she would judge by eye when we ate out. She would take her dose then check her levels after eating/drinking and take more if required. Would u not be able to do that for the odd occasion when eating out?

Original poster

Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 08:57

They made 1 small drink as they usually do then measured it half and half into two cups. I was very grateful they did it in the end but just wish it had been an easier process and that I hadn't had to ask repeatedly, beg and mention why repeatedly that it had to be half

I think as well there was a bit of a language barrier this time which there wasn't last time which seemed to confuse things too regarding the diabetes as I'm not sure they fully understood why I needed it done precisely and me trying to explain just made it more of a big deal for dd

Really a big fail for me tbh, I just wanted to do something 'normal' that dd was excited about and I mistakenly thought it'd be ok like the last time

OP posts:

Original poster

Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 09:01

I think injections are very different, dd was on injections for 18 months after diagnosis started on x4 a day and ended up on x7 a day and it didn't work out well at all and her hba1c went up to 9.2% (average three monthly blood sugars) 7.5% and below is good control (she is 7.5% now)

You can't really guess with the pump as the doses are quite precise so really need to weigh etc. I did have snacks etc with me but as I'd been to Costa before and knew I could look up the carbs and they could measure it there I thought it would be ok

OP posts:

Trufflethewuffle · 29/07/2015 09:01

I know you have to be accurate on the measuring but surely if you are splitting a mixed drink into two then one portion is going to get more sludge than the other which will probably mean the carbs aren't exactly even anyway.

Original poster

Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 09:02

Usually we only take pre weighed food with us or scales and jug if we go out to eat occasionally, day to day I don't carry them with me but I'm thinking I perhaps should now, it's probably a good idea to have them in dds bag

OP posts:

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