Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should have been able to buy half a drink??

205 replies

Edenviolet · 28/07/2015 23:44

Went out today and for a treat went to a cafe as dd1 and dd2 wanted a drink

Dd1 chose hers and dd2 decided she would like a creamy fruit type drink. Dd2 has type 1 diabetes so we went on the website to work out the carbs in a small drink, it was quite a lot so thought I'd get her half a small drink instead but this proved to be quite a problem
The first person said no when I requested exactly half of a small drink ( they could do it as all measurements are on the jugs etc). I asked why and was told 'no we can't do custom drinks" so I asked to see the manager and was told "no we can't do half" and "I don't know what to charge for half a small drink"

I suggested that perhaps half the cost of a small drink might be a good figure but was told again "no, we can't do it"
I explained again why we needed just half and said could I not just pay for a small drink but they just measure half instead. "No"again?

By this point dd2 was getting upset so I said "ok I will have a small drink and please can I have an extra cup?" To which they replied "no, just one cup" and I had had to then virtually beg for the drink to be split equally between two cups. Ridiculous

Yet again, dd has been upset and something simple like getting a drink has been complicated by diabetes and she is getting more and more negative about things due to incidents like this

Surely I should have been able to buy half a drink? Or at the very least a small one split into two cups without having to beg?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 06:48

We have to round up as her pump can only give for example insulin for 25 or 26g of carbs not 25.5 so we round it up or down , this causes no issues as its a tiny amount just half a gram either way but anything more than that and we start to see it reflected in blood sugar level being too low or high after eating, if I'd judged it by eye and given insulin for 26g carbs but actually dd had had 28g for example her blood sugar would have risen out of range

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 06:53

Non food 'treats' are a better idea, we do usually do this, I just thought as dds had asked that it'd be ok especially as months previously the same cafe had given half a drink with no issue whatsoever

OP posts:
LilacWine7 · 29/07/2015 06:58

YWBVU to expect them to serve you 'half a drink' at half price! Of course they can't do this. Imagine if everyone started asking for 'half a small drink' for their small children. The diabetes is irrelevant as far as the barista is concerned, it's not their job or responsibility to tailor drinks to suit customers' medical needs. Costa is busy, they have lots of people to serve as quickly as possible.

I think it's also unreasonable to expect them to start messing around with measuring jugs and splitting it into extra cups for you. Maybe they were worried the measurements would be wrong and you'd then blame them if your DD got ill? Maybe their jugs were only for measuring certain liquids, like fresco mix, and couldn't be easily washed. Or maybe they just had a queue of people to attend to. I imagine by the time you gave in and asked for an extra cup instead of a price reduction, they were a bit fed-up and frustrated. But I agree they should have provided the extra cup without a fuss. I suspect if you'd just ordered the small drink and requested an extra cup as well, they wouldn't have quibbled. I often ask for a spare cup when out with friend's DCs as they can only manage half a cup each... Costa have never refused us a spare cup. But we split the drink ourselves, when we reach our table.

I sympathise that it's difficult managing your DC's diabetes when she gets upset... but I think you need to take responsibility, not expect staff in a busy coffee bar to measure her drinks for you. Take a measuring jug and spare cup in a bag with you and get her used to you measuring them in front of her. Or choose drinks that already come in the correct size. Part of managing her diabetes is her learning she can't have everything or as much as she wants. Sooner or later she will need to understand more about her condition and why she needs to be careful.

Costacoffeeplease · 29/07/2015 06:59

YABU to think you could buy half a drink, and probably caused confusion in the staff and upset in your child - making a huge fuss is going to reinforce her feeling 'different'

rosie1959 · 29/07/2015 07:01

Did you tell the staff she was diabetic
My daughter has been diabetic since she was 8 (she is now 27) so have had a bit of experience You could have estimated half a cup it really does not have to be so exact
Perhaps have another chat with your diabetes team

CinderellaRockefeller · 29/07/2015 07:03

thing is, if you were telling me that you needed exactly half a drink measuring out, to the ml, or your daughter might be seriously ill, I wouldn't have done it for you either. Because what happens if it was not accurate, or the measuring cup wasn't accurate and she was ill then you sued? Not worth the risk.

By the second cup, I bet there were other solutions but can you hand on heart say that you were really helpful and polite and understanding up until that point? Because the way you tell it is really dismissive and rude and if you behaved like that to them, again I can see why they were not inclined to bend over backwards to be helpful.

Athenaviolet · 29/07/2015 07:06

Correct me if I'm wrong, I don't know much about diabetes but isn't 25/6g of carbs an awful lot for a drink for a 5yo even if they don't have type 1 diabetes? I'd thought type 1 diabetics were supposed to avoid such high carb foods esp as snacks?

If they allowed the half size before I can see why you tried again but I'm more surprised they did allowed it before than refused it this time.

Tbh it's probably best to get out of the routine of teaching your DDs that going to a cafe that sells fairly unhealthy food is a 'treat'.

WayneRooneysHair · 29/07/2015 07:13

My wife has type 1 diabetes and she's just read this thread, she says if the OP carries on like this then her daughter will have food issues when she gets older.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 07:13

The small drink has 51.2g carbs which is loads so I asked for half (and yes it is still quite a lot of sugar at 26g and it was a treat)
Most cartons of juice/smoothies etc have a similar amount of carbs as this half a drink that dd had

I didn't think it would be a huge issue as a few months ago different staff there had done it for us with no issue at all but obviously things have changed in that time

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 07:14

Carries on like what exactly ? I have to weigh and measure all her food out as we are carb counting ?

OP posts:
CactusAnnie · 29/07/2015 07:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PtolemysNeedle · 29/07/2015 07:16

YABU to think they should have given you half and charged you for half.

They were BU to not just hand over an extra cup so you could divide it yourself, and it would then be up to you as to whether that's a good enough solution or not.

Sorry you have to deal with this though, diabetes is shit.

youbethemummylion · 29/07/2015 07:18

I am going to second non food treats in future. I think this is good practice for all children but would think especially for children where food has become a battle as you put it. It is bad for their future relationship with food to view food as a reward/treat.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 07:19

We do usually have non food treats, this was the second time in approx six months that we have been to costa with her, she saw the board outside and asked please could she have the drink. I thought rather than say no due to it we could manage it as her blood sugar was within range and they'd served us half before no oroblem

OP posts:
Artandco · 29/07/2015 07:21

Personally I would have just said she couldn't have that type of drink. It's far easier surely that she learns to just not have stuff that dividing and measuring so much.

Eating a lower carb diet in general will mean less measuring needed. Meat/ fish/ veg/ fruit /eggs will virtually all be fine to eat in general. Certain fruits and veg are higher carb, but you can learn these and try to avoid ie I think grapes and strawberries are much higher than others. But still nowhere near as high as sugary Costa syrup

At 5 she can begin to learn what foods suit her best so she doesn't need so much insulin.

swallowed · 29/07/2015 07:22

Shadows makes an excellent point. In these chains I bet everything is so tightly regulated that someone would notice if the number of cups didn't tally with the number of drinks.

I'd also be nervous to measure half myself if I thought that getting it wrong meant a small child could be ill.

It sounds very difficult OP.

youarekiddingme · 29/07/2015 07:25

Your dd is using a pump? I have read thread and might have missed it but your exact measurements indicate that's why.

It's a hard one because ultimately the staff don't need to do a half drink - but should have happily given you 2 cups. But yet when you use a pump the food/ drink bit does make such a difference to you because of the exact science. There's no way really to avoid it being a big part of her life.

Perhaps a way round it would be to do a treats list - menu type thing. So she knows before you go out she can have half a costa smoothie or X or Y. Therefore it excludes the calculations being what is the primary importance at the time and it's about the drink.

It would also be useful for far more information to be available re insulin pumps. There's a lot of public health advertising re allergies and epipens, heart problems, the FASt stroke etc but I've never seen anything on diabetes.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 07:27

The hospital have a very strict amount of carbs she actually needs each day so we can't start to restrict too much as she is only five and growing, we regularly have to send in food diaries so the dietician can work out if dd is getting enough of everything in her diet.

Dd has a very low carb breakfast every day of 100ml plain soya yogurt and either some strawberries, raspberries or blueberries a s they are all quite low carb fruit otherwise we have massive blood sugar spikes in the mornings so due to this she does need carbs at other times in the day. Usually it is healthy foods but I don't think a costa drink twice in six months is excessive, I just misjudged the response based on the last time we went in there

OP posts:
WayneRooneysHair · 29/07/2015 07:28

I get that everything has to be measured out, my wife does it but it doesn't have to be precise down to the nearest millilitre. She says that everything can be ate/drank in moderation and if you carry on measuring everything out precisely then it could send the wrong message to your daughter. Her diabetic nurse has never told her or her family to be so precise that it affects other people and staff when she eats out in public as it's impossible.

NavyKnickers · 29/07/2015 07:30

I'm sorry but YABU. I can imagine that the staff were frustrated and thrown by your 'half a drink' requests so the extra cup was just too much.
If it were me and you'd told me how precise the split needed to be, I think I'd decline to split the drink just in case there was too much, too little etc- I wouldn't want that responsibility.
My local Costa is amazing, never go anywhere elseSmile

Original poster
Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 07:31

Yes dd2 has an insulin pump, it all has to be exact, we have to weigh/ measure the food, take her blood sugar just before eating and input the blood sugar and g of carbs into the pump so it can deliver exactly the right amount based on her different settings throughout the day which then keeps her bg as much 'in range' as possible

Throughout the day it delivers insulin constantly as a 'background rate' different amounts for different blocks of time during the day and for each meal /time of day she has a different ratio of insulin and carbs to keep things as close to normal as possible.

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 29/07/2015 07:31

You made an unrealistic request. How could you possibly make a drink with exactly half the carb of that of the textbook full-sized one you were shown how to make, with a child's health depending on it?

They were inflexible about the spare cup. They should have handed the responsibility to you to get the precise measurement.

They were probably worried that their recipe has some natural variation and that it could cause problems.

Sirzy · 29/07/2015 07:32

Can you find a recipe to make a similar style drink at home where you are more able to control what goes into it?

Original poster
Edenviolet · 29/07/2015 07:33

We were told by the hospital to work out the carbs in everything which we have done. We weigh every last bit of dds food. Anything 5g and under she can have as a snack without insulin (unless she's over a certain bg) anything more than that is worked out exactly

Her hba1c has gone down dramatically because of this hopefully reducing her risks of complications in later life

OP posts:
swallowed · 29/07/2015 07:35

I think an issue here is the pay and conditions in your average chain coffee shop, if the staff are so terrified of getting in trouble with management they won't give you half a drink or an extra cup.