Wheelchair vs pushchair has been done to death - how about wheelBAG vs pushchair?

[EmmaWoodlouse]

I saw this scene on a bus today and wondered what you lot would think.

An old lady sitting in the seat immediately behind the wheelchair/pushchair space with a big old-fashioned wheelbag taking up quite a lot of space. Younger woman gets on with two little girls, one in a pushchair and probably only about 1 and a half at the most. She tries to get the pushchair into he remaining space and can't quite do it. Older lady makes no attempt to move the wheelbag even a little bit (if she'd pulled it closer to her they could probably have fitted both in). Young mum doesn't challenge her as far as I could hear, but says "oh no, I'll have to fold it up" in a very flustered way, starts detaching bags of shopping from the pushchair and putting them in the luggage rack thing at the front, then releases DD2 from the pushchair and tries to fold it up with wailing, hot, unhappy DD2 sort of tucked under her arm, which really isn't working. Finally a completely different woman sitting near the front offers to hold the toddler and she manages to get it folded and stowed away before having to carry find somewhere for her and DC to sit further back. Young mum then has to go through the entire palaver in reverse when she needs to get off. Fortunately DD1 is big enough not to need physically holding/helping too, otherwise I think in her position I would have cried!

To me, the old lady was being rather selfish. There's no official policy that wheelbags can be put in that space but I don't see why not, as long as someone doesn't need it for one of the designated uses. The woman with the pushchair was very clearly struggling and nobody, including the driver, suggested to the older woman that she should help or move. (I was further back and couldn't do much.) I've seen this old lady around before and I don't think she has any mobility issues that would have prevented her moving back a row or moving her bag a bit.

Does anyone think she should have been allowed to take up all the space like that?

Yanbu to say she should have moved up so they both could fit. But yabu to suggest pushchairs should automatically trump shopping trolleys, plenty of older people, not to mention some mobility problems use them as support, and even without them couldn't safely make it to the back of the bus. Plus what someone can comfortably wheel in a trolley is often very different to what they can carry.
Really it needs to be a bit of common sense and courtesy both ways for pushchair vs trolley, and if both have equal need, whoevers there first wins.

She should of moved the bag, selfish cow

Women with pushchair should have just asked older lady politely to budge up. You can't complain you don't get what you need when you refuse to ask for what you need.
Non-issue.

YANBU. Though, If it had been me with the buggy, - i would have politely asked the older lady if she'd mind me moving her trolley up a little bit to see if we could both fit.

9/10 people won't refuse if you are kind and polite.

I hate those bags. Have been on busses with 3 people with them, blocking the whole corridor. Almost as annoying as someone taking up a whole doorway of a London commuter train with their huge bicycle.

I agree with UrethraFranklin1 but unless I knew more I couldn't say if the older lady was being selfish.

The thing is though - some elderly people really do need them. If you have arthritis in the hands for example you might struggle to carry bags.. Don't get me wrong I get just as annoyed when people don't use the space considerately...but it's that rather than the wheelybags I cant cope with!

Those wheeled shopping trollies can be the only way some elderly people can actually get out and about, let alone do any shopping. However, the mum should have asked her to move it slightly and the lady should have complied.

Christ, what's wrong with people that they can't just say, "Excuse me, would you mind just moving that back a bit? Aww thank you"

YANBU

Yanbu I have been in the situation where elderly people have refused to move their shopping trolley up for my wheelchair.

If that had been me, I know that I wouldn't of said anything.
I'd have done exactly what she did. Make comment to DD then proceed to struggle.
My anxiety and fear of confrontation is so great I couldn't do anything else.

YANBU.

If there was room for both, she should've moved the bag. YANBU.

I agree that the woman with the pushchair should have simply asked the woman with the wheelbag to move it slightly instead of faffing about huffing and puffing. It's a simple enough request.
The woman with the wheelbag should have been thoughtful enough to have moved it slightly to accommodate the pushchair if that was possible.

I get the point about support etc but that doesn't appt if the lady was sitting down with it in front of her. There'd be nothing stopping her bringing it a bit closer to her

And it's all very well to say the younger woman should have just asked but some people struggle with being assertive in those kinds of situations.

*doesnt apply

oh i had this exact same issue when my ds was little !
Had a bad day and he eventually had fallen asleep in the pushchair (he was under a year old so not able to walk)
I had been out shopping had loads of bags over the pushchair.
Stood waiting at the bus stop for 30 mins outside in the cold and when the bus turned up a load of people pushed in front of us (we were the first waiting) among these people were 2 elderly ladies with those bloody wheelbags !
So when i got on they had the wheelbags in the pushchair space and had no intention of moving them ! I had to do the whole take the shopping off and fold the buggy one handedly with a baby under my arms.

Then because DS had been woken and was grumpy anyway he started to squeal and cry. One of the old ladies started tutting and looking at us ....by this point of the day i had had enough and shouted 'I don't know what you are tutting about had you just moved the bloody shopping basket and not been so ignorant and selfish, i wouldn't have had to have woke him and then we could all have had a peaceful journey but sure at least you got your journey for free....ive just paid 7.30 for the hassle'

I dont even think i felt bad afterwards lol

What is so difficult about a simple polite request phrased as Worra suggested? It's not as I'd the woman would have been approaching someone who was presenting as aggressive in any way.

YABU. Wait till you're old and frail and have to use buses. Just wait ... then you might find an ounce of empathy for the old woman you are so intent on criticising.

It is a wheelchair space. And those front seats are for elderly and disabled people. They need them, as they are physically frail, infirm, or incapacitated in some way, through no action/fault of their own. Which is not the case for a parent with a buggy.

But I'll just sit back and waiting for the usual MN ageism.

it wouldnt have killed her to move the bag its not ageist its courtesy why would a person watch someone struggle? why would you?

op out of interest did you help her?
I think she should have just moved it, and said why.

I asked an old woman to move her trolley when i overheard her say im not moving for this pram the woman with pram and toddlers was flustered trying to get her buggy down and wouldnt ask so i kindly offered to move trolley for the woman she is a neighbour and well known mean spirited young old some folk are just rude and have an i was here first attitude

Up the chimmney I have seen many elderly people walk with ease round our local shopping mall. However when they get on a bus they are suddenly incapable of walking three steps to the seat behind.

I understand the old lady may really need the shopping bag.

But surely the easiest solution (if both won't fit in the space) would be to put the shopping bag in the luggage rack? Someone other than the old lady could have lifted it in.