to dislike it when parents sneer at single life?

[beyoncesweave]

Its posts I see on FB about people sneering at single life and judging people for going out etc

I have a child and I still go out for drinks - I don't have wasted and end up puking all night and sleeping off a hangover the next day.

If people absolutely detest the thought of going out at the weekend (even for dinner etc) then thats absolutely fine but to sneer at others who do? I just don't get it.

Do they?! I have never come across this! Maybe they're jealous?

I haven't seen this at all. Maybe it's just the people you have on fb? I don't see why anyone should sneer at the next person going out, it's really not their business.

I really, really need to get more annoying FB friends. I can never harrumph at anything any of them say .

Some people think that single parents mothers should never be away from their children. I so often read statuses on fb and comments in rl about parents women 'dumping' their children on a weekend to get pissed etc.

My dc go to their dad's eow so I do have free time. I don't drink alcohol (tastes awful lol) but I don't think twice about enjoying myself whilst my children are safely cared for.

Same here MsV

All my friends are young, single or living with partner but not married, and have no DCs. They look down at us me and DH having nights in with DSD, not being out at the latest thing. I think it's just different priorities? Personally I say fuck 'em- do what makes you happy.

I genuinely don't think most sneer? Why would they. Everyone needs a break. We have two under two and recently started going back out. I totally recommend it if it is affordable at all for people - single or in couples.

Single parents more deserving surely?? I would never sneer at anyone. Some of the people I hold in highest regard are single parents.

Nope. Never seen this on Facebook either.

Why not just unfollow the people that annoy you?

I know what you mean.

I spent some time in my thirties single whereas all my friends were married with children (I desperately wanted the same but was doing my best with my circumstances).

Whenever we met up all I would be asked was 'are you nursing a hangover today ?' or 'are you out partying this weekend'? delivered with a definite smugness. Despite me constantly repeating, 'no, just a weekend in for me/spending time with family'. They pigeon-holed me as living some sort of Sex and The City lifestyle despite it being the opposite. I might actually have enjoyed a few cocktails if one of them had offered to go out now and again but that was never going to happen!!

I quite often slag my sister off for her DINKY / DINKE* lifestyle, but she knows that it's 100% envy ;-)

*Double Income No Kids Yet / Ever

I find the opposite - some of the people I work with think it's incredibly bourgeois and limiting to have a child. I was dropped like a hot potato and never invited out again. Sneery comments about breeders and brats par for the course.

Even among nicer circles I get lots of comments about having to go home early or how 'conventional' it is to marry & have a child. I was 36 when I had DS so hardly missing out on my youth...

I see this sometimes OP, it's more martyry posts about how they've traded clubs for baby groups, make up for baby sick, salon cuts for ponytails and they couldn't be happier etc. So while not actively having a pop, it does feel implied!

I also know a few mums through DD who were appalled that I had booked a night away with my female friends and can't understand why me and DP enjoy the odd dinner out without DD etc. I totally appreciate that they're happy doing it their way but I hope to raise DD to be an independent, happy little person who will eventually venture into the world on her own and when she does I don't want to look around and realize I neglected the rest of my life.

SrAssumpta thank you - you summed up my AIBU perfectly (much better than I did!)

I've seen it, sadly. Not towards me (I suspect those that know me know better and I don't add strangers on FB) but a single parent relative of mine. The person doing it (I do know her too) got a very large piece of my mind and did eventually backtrack and claim no offense was meant. IME it's simply a way for a person to establish their superiority over another and they don't do it when they know they'll be called on it.

Those pictures about how life is thinking of your child and not yourself, being asleep by 10pm and not out on the lash, being absolutely knackered and not having a lie in til midday?

I don't go out as often as I used to pre-DC but you can be sure, I'm going to enjoy it when I do. I'm not a martyr for the parent cause.

There are a few memes Ive seen, the gist of it being mothers know the value of swopping nights out for being there for their child etc. Ridiculous nonsense, I don't take any notice of it. My DCs are now 19 & 21. I didn't stop having a social life when I could, whilst they were growing up. Now they're older Im still out at least once a month with friends, and have taken up dance classes and gym too. I don't know why people waste time and energy in pitting 1 "set" of women against the other..and in RL I never hear anyone talk like that at all, only online.

Hmm I've seen more snidey posts about people being "martyrs" and smugness about how lives haven't changed at all post children tbh.
Not everyone has access to babysitters. Some children HATE being left. Some children don't ever fucking sleep so the idea of going out compared to getting an early night loses its appeal.