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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a 2 year old shouldn't be able to get outside by themselves at soft play?!

63 replies

MeowImaCatfish · 25/07/2015 16:26

2yo ds is at a soft play birthday party. It's pissing down outside and the soft play entrance has locks that you have to press a button for the door to open iyswim? So how tf does a shoeless toddler get outside without anyone frigging noticing??
Ps, I feel guilty for not knowing where he was but I looked away for literally 3 minutes and as far as I knew he was still in the upstairs of the play area. If I hadn't got up to see if I could get a decent photo he would have got soaked... AIBU to think someone should have noticed him running outside or what??

OP posts:
Sirzy · 25/07/2015 16:27

Did he follow someone else out?

bittapitta · 25/07/2015 16:28

Well of course yanbu but can you be clear what measures should have been in place to stop him?

RachelRagged · 25/07/2015 16:29

That's bad. Is it your DS OP?

cashewnutty · 25/07/2015 16:31

With the best will in the world, it is impossible to manage every scenario in which a tot might escape from somewhere without making it a prison. Toddlers can be houdini like in managing to escape undetected very quickly. If you didn't notice him go why should anyone else have noticed?

Tequilashotfor1 · 25/07/2015 16:33

YABU he is your responsibility. Your very lucky he wasn't knocked over or anything else.

Original poster
MeowImaCatfish · 25/07/2015 16:35

Well it is the first time we've been, but to get into and out of the play room you have to press a button to unlock the door, so he'd have followed someone out but why would you let a child follow you out if they aren't yours? Surely to have the doors locked is to stop this kind of thing happening.. And those doors close quite fast so it isn't like he could have just sauntered outside without anyone seeing him :(

OP posts:
redskybynight · 25/07/2015 16:37

Yes expect he followed someone out and the staff assumed he was with them. If you only looked away for a couple of minutes, it didn't leave very long for someone else to have spotted him!!

Spartans · 25/07/2015 16:39

Obviously he did get out without anyone noticing. You didnt notice, so it's entirely possible that someone else concentrating on their own kids didn't notice him following them out too.

cashewnutty · 25/07/2015 16:39

Or maybe a couple of older kids opened the door to go to and didn't really register a small tot? Or maybe a harassed mum taking several kids out didn't notice an other one? You don't know how he got out but i suspect there is no-one to 'blame'. I understand your panic but at the end of the day he is fine and now you will keep a close eye on him so he can't escape again.

Hezaire · 25/07/2015 16:40

Very scary but I suppose it's a lesson learnt never to take your eyes off him. But we have all been there and lost them for a few seconds. Could have been worse. Try to move on

Original poster
MeowImaCatfish · 25/07/2015 16:43

tequila yes I know I'm lucky. The girls in the bar area were watching him from inside. But if I hadn't seen him when I stood up I'd have no idea he was outside as I thought he was still playing. He was playing in the tunnel just before I went to get a drink so assumed he was still there because it's supposed to be a safe area for kids to play :( what annoys me is that the person going through the door must have seen him so why not stop him?

OP posts:
Goshthatsspicy · 25/07/2015 16:46

This is why l dislike some soft play establishments. I don't think the security is effective. I can't stand not being able to see my daughter, and that she could just leave.
At two, l would have been hovering like a maniac. YANBU though, l imagine you thought it was safe. Lesson learned is all. Smile

Original poster
MeowImaCatfish · 25/07/2015 16:46

cashew I know, I'm not looking for someone to blame I'm just upset that a place labelled as 'safe and secure' really isn't :/ and to press the button you'd have to be at least 5ft tall so probably not another child..

OP posts:
Spartans · 25/07/2015 16:48

Not necessarily. As pp said it could have been a parent who was harassed and have quite a few children with them. An older child not really paying attention or really grasping the danger.

Spartans · 25/07/2015 16:50

These places can only be safe and secure to a point.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/07/2015 16:53

Ok so you didn't see him leave but someone else either busy with their own kids or doing their job should have noticed him?

I you had a shock, luckily he was ok and you will know for future reference to keep a closer eye on him or sit near the door so you can make sure he doesn't leave.

fwiw if two or three sets if people left together they all easily could have assumed he was with one of the others

SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:54

These things happen all too easily - as those of us who've ever lost sight of our children will know. You think they're with your DH, they think they're with you...you turn your back for a minute, and they've gone. Toddlers are wily things, you can't turn your back on them for a second.

Original poster
MeowImaCatfish · 25/07/2015 16:59

Indeed... Is it definitley illegal to have a toddler microchipped? It'd make life so much easier Grin

OP posts:
bittapitta · 25/07/2015 17:04

Am I being pfb to say I wouldn't let a 2 year old out of my sight at a soft play place?

Goshthatsspicy · 25/07/2015 17:06

No bitta l said as much.
I don't even like them for my six year old!
I've relaxed by the time they are eight though Grin

SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 17:07

You can buy toddler alarms - you pin on their part to their clothing, and if they go outwith a certain radius your part is alarmed to go off. I had one for DC3 but never actually used it (what can I say, the intention was there, he is our third....)

Original poster
MeowImaCatfish · 25/07/2015 17:11

There's an upstairs part with a big tunnel on it and I thought he was still playing in there, tbf it's badly designed anyway as you can't see anyone unless they're right up against the mesh stuff.. Quite pleased I won't be coming here again...

OP posts:
Spartans · 25/07/2015 17:11

At 2 I would have followed ds around. He can escape anywhere.

He is four and the only one I like using is one with one door for in and out and I sit by the door. You can see he most of the way round it too.

HeyDuggee · 25/07/2015 17:14

Er, you were getting a drink instead of staying with a 2 year old. I stayed with mine the entire time at a softplay at that age, unless there was only one way out in toddler area (which are designed so you can see them without having to try to crawl in there).

I find it ridicilous you werent watching your own child and think it's someone else's responsibility to notice him slip out.

Notso · 25/07/2015 17:16

I remember watching a member of staff hold the door open for my 18 month old DS to get out to the car park. I had stopped to fasten my shoelace and it must have looked to her as though he was with the family inFront.

What always confuses me is in all the play barn places round here you have to sign the children in. You never have to sign them out, you just leave.