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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a 2 year old shouldn't be able to get outside by themselves at soft play?!

63 replies

MeowImaCatfish · 25/07/2015 16:26

2yo ds is at a soft play birthday party. It's pissing down outside and the soft play entrance has locks that you have to press a button for the door to open iyswim? So how tf does a shoeless toddler get outside without anyone frigging noticing??
Ps, I feel guilty for not knowing where he was but I looked away for literally 3 minutes and as far as I knew he was still in the upstairs of the play area. If I hadn't got up to see if I could get a decent photo he would have got soaked... AIBU to think someone should have noticed him running outside or what??

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 25/07/2015 20:52

It would be nice yes. as a parent I think you naturally kind of end up keeping an.eye on situations. I've sure as hell taken many a crying kid back.to parents or "shooed" one away who attempted to tag along.

but you do Kinda have to know they are there.

As I said before if multiple people left then it's plausible they all thought the kid was with the other person/people.

its plausible a person was distracted herding cats dealing with their own charges that a teeny extra went unnoticed.

The5DayChicken · 25/07/2015 20:55

Massive sympathy OP...I'm a single parent so know how hard it is to keep your eye on them all the time. Children that age are miniature Houdinis and softplay centres aren't inescapable by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sure most parents will eventually go through something like this.

But, you can't really set the blame elsewhere if you left him unsupervised to get yourself a drink. Maybe next time ask a mum-friend to keep her eye on him if you need to take yours off.

HeyDuggee · 25/07/2015 20:57

Arethereanyleft, all softplay centres I've been to have a toddler area within it. It has a very narrow single entrance/exit point and is guarded by mothers with little babies. Who still manage to keep one eye on their other one. From my experience, it's the parents who are chatting and socialising with other adults that never supervise their kids. And expect those of us who supervise our own to also keep an eye on theirs. Fine if they're 4-5 yrs or older. Not fine if they're under 4.

MakeItRain · 25/07/2015 20:58

Must have been scary, but it just proves you can't take your eyes off a young child at soft play. All it takes is for two families to leave at the same time. Each will assume the toddler is with the other family.

swallowed · 25/07/2015 20:59

YANBU all our locals soft plays take your name and how many are in your party. When they buzz you out they check off your name and number of people.

Not hard. I'd have complained.

Who keeps their eyes on their child 100% of the time at soft play? The whole point is that you can have a break for a while because you know it's safe and secure.

littleducks · 25/07/2015 21:00

I think the "i thought the other adult was watching" is a common mistake. i think my kids are safer when it was me alone as I was totally focused on them. whereas on occasion when things have happened both dh and I have turned to each other and said that we thought the other one was watching.

I'm surprised he got out without shoes on. Most soft plays I have been to monitored the doors (in fact I can't think of any with a door to outside all had a safety gate then payment desk/reception area then outside).

Original poster
MeowImaCatfish · 25/07/2015 21:43

ducks the reception/bar areas inside the entrance as it's part of a bigger gastro pub. I'm not trying to put the blame on anyone else (I know it was my fault) but the door is right next to the staff area and he didn't have his shoes/coat on and it was pissing it down outside so wouldn't it be a bit weird for him to go unnoticed? But on an unrelated note the staff were pretty rubbish anyway.. Messed up party dinner order (ds ended up without) and we were only a few minutes later than the rest of the kids and didn't seem very organised at all :/ I'm mostly just angry at myself because all of the other soft plays we've been to have had a better layout and could walk around the play area to see where your child is and if they're ok.. And where the doors are visible no matter where you sit.. And I feel extra shitty for trying to give ds a bit of space and independence as he's usually clingy in places he's not been before. First time trying it and look what I let happen :(

OP posts:
cashewnutty · 26/07/2015 09:15

A soft play in a gastro pub is a very different thing to a stand alone soft play. I wouldn't expect such a place to have particularly great security. It's mostly food with a bit of play, rather than play with a coffee and scone.

Szeli · 26/07/2015 10:40

Some soft plays have microchipped tabards. If they leave an alarm goes off. obvs doesnt stop them taking the vest off but still not a bad idea

MadamArcatiAgain · 26/07/2015 11:13

op did he say why he left?
couldn't he see you and panicked you had gone?
it is yourresponsibility though, not anyone else's

ladygracie · 26/07/2015 11:20

Mine are too old for soft play now but I never let someone else's child out with mine. I used to check & if there was a random extra then I'd send them back in. Surely everyone does that? In all the ones I've taken my kids to, it actually wasn't possible to see your child all the time due to the layout.

SoupDragon · 26/07/2015 11:23

Messed up party dinner order (ds ended up without)

Perhaps they thought he had already left Wink

I think there are few parents who haven't "lost" a child at all. They are fast and they are sneaky. Ultimately it is no ones fault but your own, but you know that. The important thing is to learn and move on.

They get slower and less sneaky and more capable of knowing not to leave :)

SrAssumpta · 26/07/2015 12:01

Where I am it's usually just young girls of about 16 working in these places, they're usually flat out running around trying to do 101 things. We're told every time we enter "it's parental supervision at all times" and I'm honestly the furthest thing from a helicopter parent there is but I really wouldn't have taken an eye of my 2 year old for a second, even with my four year old I'll be sitting far back, chatting to my friends but I still don't like when I lose where she is.

It's a horrible feeling though but a lesson learned Flowers

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