Put a question to Bridget Phillipson, Shadow Education Minister

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AIBU?

WIBU to demand Harry Styles comes over and gives me a good seeing to?

88 replies

WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 10:05

Ok, hear me out.

I keep having really vivid "rudey" dreams about Harry Styles, they sort of dreams that would make Katie Price blush . And I'm thinking the only way it's going to stop is if I ask, no DEMAND, he comes round with awful morning breath and nits, shows that he is dreadful in bed, just to prove to my dream state that I am in fact not a 15 year old, hormonal 1D fan. But I'm actually a married mother, in my 30's that sensibly drives a Volvo.

Then and only then I might start having dreams about men that are more appropriate. Or perhaps my own DH, can't remember the last time I had dream sex with him!

So my AIBU is, AIBU to ask HS to come and have sex with me with the above conditions?

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squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:02

But he's only pretend unkempt and off his tits. At the end of the day he's still in a measly boy band no matter how hard he tries to look like a rock star.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:03

Who is or was proper 'unkempt and off his tits'?

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SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:06

Can they ever turn it around and be thought of as bad boys? Thinking - as you do - of Justin Beiber who's gone from saccharine bland boy to off his tits.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:08

Maybe it's my age but 1D will always be little boys to me, and nothing they do would be of any interest. I doubt we will be talking about them in 30 years time.

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squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:09

I had a proper unkempt and off his tit bass player boyfriend once. That was a lovely few months.....

But the pretendy unkempt are all artfully scruffed up and constantly checking their reflection.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:10

Ooh squoosh I like the sound of that. I do love an unkempt long haired bass player.

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squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:11

Me too! I may have had more than one bass player boyfriend. I may have had three!

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:11

Talking of which do 1D play an instruments? Or is their beautiful singing and fantastic good looks their only talents?

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SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:13

I would have loved a proper unkempt and off his tits bass player boyfriend. Mine were always far too boring - except one who fancied himself as Jon Bon Jovi and used to play dodgy chords on his guitar that he took everywhere with him. He was a tit rather than off his tits.

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SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:16

G'sake Sparkling - everyone knows that Niall thingie plays the guitar

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squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:16

I think one of 1D pretends to strum about a bit on an acoustic guitar but that's about it. The only instruments they regularly use are their penises I'll warrant.

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SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:17

And they play them with their hands

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squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:17

I know a woman who's had a Jon Bon Jovi obsession for yeeeears. She's a bit scary in her devotion to be honest. She's got that glint in her eye that cult members get.

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StillStayingClassySanDiego · 25/07/2015 16:20

Kurt Cobain remains my 'would have liked to shag' dirty unkempt rock star!

I'd have saved you Kurt!

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SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:21

It's the glint you see at Barry Manilow concerts isn't it? The sort that reflects the stage lights. Scary..

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squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:24

Oh yes, Barry Manilow fans are a dedicated lot. Which is confusing considering his awful music, plastic face, and husband.

And Donny Osmond fans. They'd stab you in the neck to get to their Mormon god.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:29

When Lionel Ritchie did Glasto he had a very easy on the eye unkempt bass player which made the whole set so much more interesting.

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squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:30

Oh yes I may have noticed him and his lovely flaxen locks.

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wishingchair · 25/07/2015 16:59

I totally totally would and love an unkempt off his tits bass player (although never had one) - real or pretendy. Sigh. Am 40 now and suspect my unkempt off his tits bass player days are well and truly over. Sniff. Is it too early for wine??

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BastardGoDarkly · 25/07/2015 17:10

Pete Doherty sparkling

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BastardGoDarkly · 25/07/2015 17:11

No wishing it's not too early, I'll join you

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ADishBestEatenCold · 25/07/2015 17:19

"a married mother, in my 30's that sensibly"

Which end of your 30's Wiener? You could be old enough to be his mum!

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CelibacyCakeAndFuckThePO · 25/07/2015 17:28

There is only one true 'unkempt and off his tits"

Or rather, was.

Michael Hutchence.

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Tinkypoooooooo · 25/07/2015 18:29

This is not AIBU, just mindless dribble. Imagine the uproar if a man said this about a young girl.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 18:30

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