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WIBU to demand Harry Styles comes over and gives me a good seeing to?

88 replies

WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 10:05

Ok, hear me out.

I keep having really vivid "rudey" dreams about Harry Styles, they sort of dreams that would make Katie Price blush Blush. And I'm thinking the only way it's going to stop is if I ask, no DEMAND, he comes round with awful morning breath and nits, shows that he is dreadful in bed, just to prove to my dream state that I am in fact not a 15 year old, hormonal 1D fan. But I'm actually a married mother, in my 30's that sensibly drives a Volvo.

Then and only then I might start having dreams about men that are more appropriate. Or perhaps my own DH, can't remember the last time I had dream sex with him!

So my AIBU is, AIBU to ask HS to come and have sex with me with the above conditions?

OP posts:
squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:02

But he's only pretend unkempt and off his tits. At the end of the day he's still in a measly boy band no matter how hard he tries to look like a rock star.

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:03

Who is or was proper 'unkempt and off his tits'? Grin

SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:06

Can they ever turn it around and be thought of as bad boys? Thinking - as you do Confused - of Justin Beiber who's gone from saccharine bland boy to off his tits.

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:08

Maybe it's my age but 1D will always be little boys to me, and nothing they do would be of any interest. I doubt we will be talking about them in 30 years time.

squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:09

I had a proper unkempt and off his tit bass player boyfriend once. That was a lovely few months.....

But the pretendy unkempt are all artfully scruffed up and constantly checking their reflection.

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:10

Ooh squoosh I like the sound of that. I do love an unkempt long haired bass player.

squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:11

Me too! I may have had more than one bass player boyfriend. I may have had three!

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:11

Talking of which do 1D play an instruments? Confused Or is their beautiful singing and fantastic good looks their only talents?

SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:13

Envy I would have loved a proper unkempt and off his tits bass player boyfriend. Mine were always far too boring - except one who fancied himself as Jon Bon Jovi and used to play dodgy chords on his guitar that he took everywhere with him. He was a tit rather than off his tits.

SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:16

G'sake Sparkling - everyone knows that Niall thingie plays the guitar

squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:16

I think one of 1D pretends to strum about a bit on an acoustic guitar but that's about it. The only instruments they regularly use are their penises I'll warrant.

SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:17

And they play them with their hands

squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:17

I know a woman who's had a Jon Bon Jovi obsession for yeeeears. She's a bit scary in her devotion to be honest. She's got that glint in her eye that cult members get.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 25/07/2015 16:20

Kurt Cobain remains my 'would have liked to shag' dirty unkempt rock star!

I'd have saved you Kurt!

SirChenjin · 25/07/2015 16:21

It's the glint you see at Barry Manilow concerts isn't it? The sort that reflects the stage lights. Scary..

squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:24

Oh yes, Barry Manilow fans are a dedicated lot. Which is confusing considering his awful music, plastic face, and husband.

And Donny Osmond fans. They'd stab you in the neck to get to their Mormon god.

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 16:29

When Lionel Ritchie did Glasto he had a very easy on the eye unkempt bass player which made the whole set so much more interesting.

squoosh · 25/07/2015 16:30

Oh yes I may have noticed him and his lovely flaxen locks.

wishingchair · 25/07/2015 16:59

I totally totally would and love an unkempt off his tits bass player (although never had one) - real or pretendy. Sigh. Am 40 now and suspect my unkempt off his tits bass player days are well and truly over. Sniff. Is it too early for wine??

BastardGoDarkly · 25/07/2015 17:10

Pete Doherty sparkling

BastardGoDarkly · 25/07/2015 17:11

No wishing it's not too early, I'll join you

ADishBestEatenCold · 25/07/2015 17:19

"a married mother, in my 30's that sensibly"

Which end of your 30's Wiener? You could be old enough to be his mum! Grin

CelibacyCakeAndFuckThePO · 25/07/2015 17:28

There is only one true 'unkempt and off his tits"

Or rather, was.

Michael Hutchence.

Tinkypoooooooo · 25/07/2015 18:29

This is not AIBU, just mindless dribble. Imagine the uproar if a man said this about a young girl.

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 18:30
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