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AIBU?

WIBU to demand Harry Styles comes over and gives me a good seeing to?

88 replies

WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 10:05

Ok, hear me out.

I keep having really vivid "rudey" dreams about Harry Styles, they sort of dreams that would make Katie Price blush . And I'm thinking the only way it's going to stop is if I ask, no DEMAND, he comes round with awful morning breath and nits, shows that he is dreadful in bed, just to prove to my dream state that I am in fact not a 15 year old, hormonal 1D fan. But I'm actually a married mother, in my 30's that sensibly drives a Volvo.

Then and only then I might start having dreams about men that are more appropriate. Or perhaps my own DH, can't remember the last time I had dream sex with him!

So my AIBU is, AIBU to ask HS to come and have sex with me with the above conditions?

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ElizabethLemon · 25/07/2015 11:19

Yabu, he's gross!

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WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 11:41

Ember!!!! Thank God isn't just me!!!! Although I'm most certainly not pregnant so I can't use that as an excuse

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WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 11:41

What on Earth is a Larry Shipper?

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 12:51

Ewww. No. Now Dougie Poynter on the other hand....

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Hoppinggreen · 25/07/2015 12:57

If he was given a very thorough scrub I might consider doing him, however as has been said before DH would probably stand a better chance than me with him.

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IHaveBrilloHair · 25/07/2015 13:01

I love Harry, he's mine all mine

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Tenieht · 25/07/2015 13:05

Yabu if you're that desperate just go down a local club tonight and shag some filthy scrawny teen. Hope you don't get Clamydia

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WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 13:12

I really don't want a scrawny teenager. I need a big man who doesn't have longer (and better) hair than me.

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ephemeralfairy · 25/07/2015 13:17

Eurghh. If you must have any of them, go for Niall. He looks like he calls a spade a spade, if you know what I mean.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 13:19

Which member of One Direction would you least object to shagging?

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PrimalLass · 25/07/2015 13:20

I would. And. even thought Louis looked hot in the Daily Mail the other day.

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chippednailvarnish · 25/07/2015 13:23

Ewwwwwwuuuwwww.

It's just wrong.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 13:24

None of them are that great really are they?

WIBU to demand Harry Styles comes over and gives me a good seeing to?

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WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 13:34

If I had to? Probably Harry

Maybe I should stop squabbling with myself and embrace the inevitable crush that generally follows after randy dreams with famous/non famous people.

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squoosh · 25/07/2015 15:05

Is he even 21?

They're practically zygotes.

No, no, no! Fancy a man instead.

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LazyLohan · 25/07/2015 15:10

A Larry Shipper is a 1 Direction fan who believes that Louis and Harry have been in a romantic relationship for years.

Larry is a melding of Louis and Harry and shippers is a contraction of relationship.

There are loads of them, they have lots of fan fiction and photoshopped porn of them. Their heads on gay porn basically. That's why that pic of Harry pregnant was doing the rounds last week.

Apparently it is rumoured that 42 1D fans have committed suicide in distress over the Larry Ship.

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LazyLohan · 25/07/2015 15:11

So, yeah, compared to that you're quite normal.

Please don't google the porn. Unless you have copious amounts of mind bleach and a strong stomach. Plus it might turn you to the Larry Shipper side....this time next week you might be writing fan fiction about Larry's sweating heaving thighs slapping together in a night of uncontrolled lust.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 15:13

Ugh Fan Fiction is dire, and a bit troubling. I found some Duran Duran stuff once. Eww, ewww and more ewww, some people need a hobby.

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WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 15:17

Jesus wept, that is fucking weird.

Louis has never entered my dreams. One of the blokes from Impractical Jokers has though?!

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LazyLohan · 25/07/2015 15:18

Sparkling the difference is Larry Shippers really believe it's all true.

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Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2015 15:25

Oh dear Lazy.

there was none of this when I was a teen.

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WienerDiva · 25/07/2015 15:25

At least I know I'm deluded!

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BastardGoDarkly · 25/07/2015 15:48

See I like the unkempt, dirty and off your tits look. But it has to be a man, preferably a straight man.

I'm not helping, cos there's no helping your subconscious. Can't you watch a night of Tom Hardy films!?

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SilverNightFairy · 25/07/2015 15:53

Honey, aren't you afraid his makeup might ruin your sheets? His hair products could leave hard to get out stains...and think about the bum sweat!!!

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Battleshiphips · 25/07/2015 15:55

He does look like he could do with a bit of a scrub down with dettol on a shower puff needs to get out of bed and stop reading threads on mn

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