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AIBU?

to think getting a mortgage on a property is not something worthy of congratulations

77 replies

sallyknowsit · 24/07/2015 22:08

Maybe its me but I don't get why people see getting a mortgage as such a congratulations moment. Paying off the all the mortgage is.

A mutual friend has just got a mortgage on a flat, other friend thinks its the the done thing to send a congratulations card for "buying a flat".

I see it as the bank has just bought a flat and she will have to pay them back or she will very quickly find herself homeless. And has the risk of always needing a well paid job for 25 years and could have her disposable income slashes if rates do rise.

Am I just being too cynical?

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Binit · 24/07/2015 22:11

Yes you are being cynical.

You can't just get a mortgage. You have to save a deposit, you have to have an income. These are achievements. It is exciting getting a home. These things are worthy of congratulations.

FarFromAnyRoad · 24/07/2015 22:11

Well. You don't see it. She does. What's your problem?

chickenfuckingpox · 24/07/2015 22:11

yes you are being too cynical HTH

lemoncurd20 · 24/07/2015 22:11

Yes, sorry, I think so.

There is a lot in being accepted for the mortgage, not to mention saving for the deposit.

Though of course it's more impressive if the friend is 22 than 42.

AuntyMag10 · 24/07/2015 22:12

Yabu and cynical. Not everyone is able to qualify for one and it is something to celebrate. Luckily she has nicer friends.

Onecurrantbun · 24/07/2015 22:12

Wow, you sound like a riot OP

I think a new home is always worthy of congratulations whether bought outright, mortgaged or rented

Obv wouldn't buy a card for someone getting a buy tl let property as that is an investment and more to do with personal finances, a new home however is a major life event

CaspoFungin · 24/07/2015 22:12

YABVU it is definitely a congratulations moment! It's their first house together, it's a big deal. Are you jealous?

Luckyfellow · 24/07/2015 22:12

One friend is happy and the other is happy for her. I think it is nice they are friends and take pleasure in things going well for one another. Some friends kill the joy.

eurochick · 24/07/2015 22:13

Buying a home is a rite of passage. You usually congratulate people on rites of passage.

sallyknowsit · 24/07/2015 22:13

I'm cynical in life I guess. But she didn't save for a deposit - was gifted. Anhow I'll just go along with social norms and send a moving house home, the stress of that is probably car worthy.

OP posts:

sallyknowsit · 24/07/2015 22:14

I'm a bad friend because I don't share the same life goals?

OP posts:

mandy214 · 24/07/2015 22:18

No I don't think you're a bad friend for not sharing her goals but you're a bad friend for not celebrating your friend achieving her goals. That's the difference.

lemoncurd20 · 24/07/2015 22:20

What are your life goals Sally?

ilovesooty · 24/07/2015 22:22

So don't send a card. Why do you care if anyone else does?

sanquhar · 24/07/2015 22:22

After 15 years in shitty rentals and scrimping for 10 years to raise a £30,000 deposit we bloody well celebrated!!!

It was an extra special celebration as it took so long to get there. Every time we thought we had made it something pulled the rug out from under us. First the 5% deposits disappeared, so we had to save longer. Then lenders got stricter and stricter. If it weren't for help-to-buy we would still be saving and living in unsuitable rentals.

Damn right it's worth celebrating!

TerryTheGreenHorse · 24/07/2015 22:23

How miserable.

FarFromAnyRoad · 24/07/2015 22:23

sooty

Loafliner · 24/07/2015 22:23

Your friend has just bought a new home which is a massive big deal and good wishes are always a nice thing to receive about something so life changing. You are being a tad mean.

squoosh · 24/07/2015 22:28

Oooh I bet you're great fun at house warmings OP!

squoosh · 24/07/2015 22:30

YA also BU for using 'gifted' as a verb.

NoisyOyster · 24/07/2015 22:30

Smacks of jealousy there a bit op

A new house is a new home, always cause for a celebration!

Stop being such a sour puss

tippytappywriter · 24/07/2015 22:30

Your other friend sounds lovely. You are being unreasonable.

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel · 24/07/2015 22:31

Congratulations for new homes cards have been around for ages haven't they? Never heard of congratulations on a mortgage card though.

FWIW I dont think I will ever have a mortgage so that might cloud my view. I certainly dont understand the big thing with buying houses that there is in Brittain. No other country seems as obsessed with getting on the property ladder as Brits do. Then again our renting norms are completely different to those in other countries too.

tippytappywriter · 24/07/2015 22:31

I think given the responses you have your answer.

Bluetonic123 · 24/07/2015 22:32

I will probably never be able to buy. YABU.

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