Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think getting a mortgage on a property is not something worthy of congratulations

77 replies

sallyknowsit · 24/07/2015 22:08

Maybe its me but I don't get why people see getting a mortgage as such a congratulations moment. Paying off the all the mortgage is.

A mutual friend has just got a mortgage on a flat, other friend thinks its the the done thing to send a congratulations card for "buying a flat".

I see it as the bank has just bought a flat and she will have to pay them back or she will very quickly find herself homeless. And has the risk of always needing a well paid job for 25 years and could have her disposable income slashes if rates do rise.

Am I just being too cynical?

OP posts:
Pipbin · 24/07/2015 22:32

Are you asking if it's right to send a 'new home' card?
Yes the bank own a mortgaged house but very little is worth congratulating if you think of it like that.
I send 'new home' cards to people who rent. Is that not worth bothering with. Is it not worth sending Christmas cards either as there will be another one in a year.

PtolemysNeedle · 24/07/2015 22:33

I don't think it's worthy of a card, but it's a big enough deal that it's worth making the occasion with your family and friends.

Devora · 24/07/2015 22:38

I once knew someone who liked to say, to people who had the temerity to mention their home: "Well, it's not YOUR home, is it? It's the bank's home".

Don't be that person, OP!

comedycentral · 24/07/2015 22:39

You sound so dull! What a thing to whine about.

gabsdot45 · 24/07/2015 22:42

We just had went to visit some friends and to see the house they just bought. They've been renting sine they got married about 10 years ago and have worked very hard to save and prepare for this.
I think it's a great achievement for them and definitely worthy of congratulations

Stingingthistle · 24/07/2015 22:47

God what a misery guts

80sMum · 24/07/2015 22:49

When you have a mortgage, the bank doesn't own your home, you do. Granted, you have taken out a loan secured on your home, but you still own it.

Anniesaunt · 24/07/2015 22:52

YABVU. If a friend achieves something they wanted to achieve then you congratulate them. Especially if they are excited about it. It is irrelevant how excited or not you may be about it and irrelevant if you want to achieve the same goal or not.

minibmw2010 · 24/07/2015 22:55

You sound very jealous. I was gifted a deposit of £10k almost 20 years ago by my Mum when I was early 20s to buy a small flat and it was still
A huge achievement because my salary qualified me for the mortgage and my salary paid the mortgage every month. Don't be such a misery.

Donthate · 24/07/2015 22:58

I would buy a new house card, but by your logic we should be buying congratulations cards for people who pay off their mortgage which is ridiculous.

You do sound bitter.

pregnantpause · 24/07/2015 23:05

My parents gave me and my two ds a gift of 15000 each after they inherited four years ago. I bought a house. My sisters tried but despite the deposit their salary / earning potential/ dependant minors/ prevented them getting a mortgage. I'd never deemed my job and salary in boring office an achievement before that. It was, to be granted a loan of that value is not a given- regardless of the deposit- saved or gifted.

pregnantpause · 24/07/2015 23:08

By the way- I would find an ' I paid off my mortgage' party disgustingly gloaty and boastful, whereas a house warming when Entering a new home, is just sharing happiness. It's far nicer to celebrate a new home than to celebrate paying off the cost. A lot less crass IMO

Charlesroi · 24/07/2015 23:20

sanquhar Bloody well done. If you keep paying the rent mortgage nobody can ever

  • chuck you out on a whim costing you removal fees
  • charge you stupid money for 'contract renewals'
  • charge you stupid money for agents fees
  • insist on invading your space for inspections.

It must be such a relief.

RagstheInvincible · 24/07/2015 23:24

Yes you are being cynical.

This. In spades.

wafflyversatile · 24/07/2015 23:25

So don't send her a card. And your friend can send her a card and everyone is happy.

I see it as the bank has just bought a flat and she will have to pay them back or she will very quickly find herself homeless. And has the risk of always needing a well paid job for 25 years and could have her disposable income slashes if rates do rise.

So a bit like renting but actually a lot less precarious?

achieve15 · 24/07/2015 23:31

YABVU

It's an achievement to get a mortgage, it's the joy of your new home....this an odd post. My boss bought me stuff when I bought my first home! Obv my friends and family too, just saying boss to show what a normal thing that is to want to celebrate.

ouryve · 24/07/2015 23:33

You are being cynical.

If you put money into a mortgage, you usually get something back, plus a place of your own. Rent is lost forever. Getting out of the lost forever cycle does feel good when you've worked hard to get there.

cerealqueen · 24/07/2015 23:34

Probably would mean more if your friend had ben saving for a deposit as that is a big deal these days. I saved £25k on my own for my deposit. Felt pretty good.
However the banks give people such a hard time now that getting past that hurdle is also to be congratulated.

Guessing you think she doesn't deserve even that!

mimishimmi · 24/07/2015 23:34

We must both be sourpuss misery guts OP because I think, to some extent, YANBU actually. Of course I would celebrate someone moving into a new home by buying them a 'new home' card, housewarming etc but I'm not sure I'd exactly congratulate them for it, especially if I knew they'd taken out a huge mortgage on it. More just be excited for them about their new place, how they are houng to furnish and so on. Rent money is dead money but so is interest money! When I've told people (only when asked) that we've paid off our mortgage, I certainly don't hear any congratulations from them.

Happfeet2911 · 24/07/2015 23:35

You are obviously of the class that just inherits, to us mere mortals a mortgage is a rite of passage!

ouryve · 24/07/2015 23:36

We didn't have a paid off mortgage party, mind. just a bloody good bottle of wine and shag

Ragwort · 24/07/2015 23:46

Yes, I agree it is exciting and a bit of a 'life event' to get your first mortgage and buy your first home ................... and equally we have now paid off our mortgage but I wouldn't dream of mentioning it and expecting the fact to be celebrated. Of course DH and I are quietly pleased about it but it's not something that you would necessarily share with others. Hmm.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 24/07/2015 23:48

Ouryve We didn't even bother with the wine or the shag. We're not very good at occasions.

Personally I send "three months ago the comdom split and now you are starting to look a little porky - Congratulations!!!" cards so getting a mortgage seems a sensible thing to congratulate to me.

ZazieSiddharta · 25/07/2015 00:34

YABU

The ritual for paying off the mortgage is to paint your front door red BTW, not your friends giving you cards.

Janeymoo50 · 25/07/2015 08:18

The green eyed monster is rearing her head.