Who is unreasonable? Me or friend for saying that is the reality for many so suck it up?

[brownpaperbag2]

A friend lives in a very nice 3 bed semi in a great location, lovely commuter village in South East with good schools etc. she pays £370 a month for her council property, where as mp the average for a 3 bed semi to rent here is £1400 a month.

I have always told her she is lucky. She has lived there 12 years and has 2 cars, goes abroad every year, pays for private tuition etc. her husband earns £34,000 a year and she earns £4000 a year part time school hours. Her husband has just gone for a promotion to earn himself £45,000 a year.

This years budget means she is likely to have to pay full market rent, thus more than tripling her rent. She is freaking out and saying that it isn't fair as her family will suffer. She has 2 children and pays for tennis lessons, tuition, football club etc

I said that this is what other families have to pay, including someone 3 doors up in the exact same house so why should she pay less and have a better lifestyle than her neighbours who also have 2 children and both work full time.

Clearly it fell on deaf ears.

Teeming sounds a bit energetic for the idle.

Yes, the food banks are obviously being too generous if they have enough energy to be teeming around the place.

She's been very fortunate to have a subsidised house in a nice area, whilst working very part time hours.

I understand why she is anxious though. People get used to living according to their means and it must have been a shock. She should either be looking for more working hours, now, or living frugally. If she wants the children to keep all the middle-class accoutrements that they've got used to, this is how it must be, and there's little point in railing against it.

Yanbu.

Social housing should be there for the vulnerable, to keep them safe and off the streets, not to help fund tennis lessons and holidays.

You won't help your friendship telling her that though. You'll either have to keep stum, or find someone to blame (the rich, Tories, capitalism or whatever is your pleasure).

Of course it'll be a shock our, just as big financial changes are to other families. People are very adaptable though and OP's friend is in the fortunate position of having lots of different areas of 'luxury' spending she can trim the fat from.

I've just skimmed the whole thread.

It isn't really fair to have some people subsidised by the tax payer, when others in the same situation, with the same income are not. That said, it's a massive change in cash flow without much lead time.

The thing that puzzles me is, how can they afford private school? Isn't that about £15K/child? Their income is respectable, but you need a lot more than £38K/year to manage a couple of kids in private school, even with the housing subsidy.

Op you said she had figured out how to raise an additional £600 a month by cutting luxuries but not the extra £400.
Her dp is going for a promotion that, after tax, would be around that.
If he doesn't get it then nothing you've said suggests she wouldn't be able to increase her earnings.
Failing that they have £120k inheritance which would cover the shortfall for 20+ years.
So actually they are in a bloody good position compared to most who would be hit by this.

The race to the bottom is vile tho.

Where all these people are supposed to move to is anyone's guess? Let alone find emoyment.

I don't understand why social housing should be for vulnerable people only. I've always earned lived on a low income; should I not be allowed to live in a HA home?

Social housing was started so people with low/no income could live in decent buildings and there are still plenty of poor people around.

A wage of 45,000 would be a huge amount to me but I realize it's not really that much in the scheme of things. Your friend's lifestyle could be about to take a bit of a hit through no fault of her own. Her husband works FT, she works PT, they and their children seem to live a decent, not extravagant standard of living. The rent is not being paid by benefits but it's still not enough for some.

I can't help feeling like the OP is I don't know, maybe enjoying is too strong a word, but I can't help feeling that there's some pleasure being derived from the 'friend's' situation.

A lesson in being very careful to whom we disclose personal and financial information, I suppose.

OP are you actually your friend? Is this a reverse?

You appear to have undergone an attitudinal 360 towards your's friend's plight since the opening post that is difficult to grasp.

We earn £30k between us, if our rent goes up we physically can't afford it. My mum has basically told us to suck it up and find the money, I had to bite my tongue.

I know how your friend feels OP as it will be a massive change, we are bricking it.

YABU.

Here's why. Petition link.

Emiliaj carers allowance does not count. You are not earning carers as a wage although it is income.

She should either be looking for more working hours, now, or living frugally.

Or...

She could quit working altogether, and her husband could cut his hours until he's just under the threshold.

Then they'll have more time together as a family and their earnings won't be that different.

Love how the OP changed tack from scorn of the ungrateful scrounger who doesn't know she's born, to "I'm SO worried for her, however will she manage " when she started getting flamed.

Love how the OP changed tack from scorn of the ungrateful scrounger who doesn't know she's born, to "I'm SO worried for her, however will she manage " when she started getting flamed.

She doesn't pay for private school. She pays for private tuition, for an hour a week for each child at £30 an hour.

I have mixed emotions on it, which is why I'm coming across as swinging from one way to the other.

In pure logic (or daily mail logic) it seems really unfair that some benefit from cheaper housing. That some families have totally different lifestyle. However, when I see the effects on people I actually know, I feel for them.

Or maybe it's unfair that a growing number of people are being fucked up the arse by being forced to pay extortionate rents and being manipulated into looking in the wrong direction to place blame.

Not to mention those on their lofty perches who want everybody deemed beneath them to suffer thinking themselves untouchable.

the problem isn't that social housing rents are too low, but that rents in private housing are too high - and making social housing tenants on modest incomes pay more will not change this

I see, "tuition" does not = "fees!"

Now it makes more sense.

I agree Alec. Rents are too high. House prices are too high.

It's not a good situation for society. Why invest in anything but housing? I hear people around we I live say it all the time. They say: "I think it would be better to get the kids into their own flat than pay for Uni."

When property speculation seems like a better idea than education, you know something is working properly.

If anything I can see private rents start to climb ninja like as a direct result.. Of course as the threshold gets lower and lower for SH.

Slowly though so not to startle the masses too much.

Eventually we'll all be like Borg drones just existing to serve and replaced when we croak it

it's sad that some people think that because lots of people are struggling to pay extortionate rents it would be better for society if EVERYONE was forced to pay extortionate rents

you may as well say 'my life is tough so yours should be as well'

working properly = isn't working properly!

YANBU. Social housing is very hard to get and there will be families living in private lets which impoverish them, living month to month, a hand to mouth existence, who will be subsidising her rent via their council tax.

I know, I'm one of them and it's frustrating.