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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is unreasonable? Me or friend for saying that is the reality for many so suck it up?

163 replies

brownpaperbag2 · 24/07/2015 15:15

A friend lives in a very nice 3 bed semi in a great location, lovely commuter village in South East with good schools etc. she pays £370 a month for her council property, where as mp the average for a 3 bed semi to rent here is £1400 a month.

I have always told her she is lucky. She has lived there 12 years and has 2 cars, goes abroad every year, pays for private tuition etc. her husband earns £34,000 a year and she earns £4000 a year part time school hours. Her husband has just gone for a promotion to earn himself £45,000 a year.

This years budget means she is likely to have to pay full market rent, thus more than tripling her rent. She is freaking out and saying that it isn't fair as her family will suffer. She has 2 children and pays for tennis lessons, tuition, football club etc

I said that this is what other families have to pay, including someone 3 doors up in the exact same house so why should she pay less and have a better lifestyle than her neighbours who also have 2 children and both work full time.

Clearly it fell on deaf ears.

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 24/07/2015 16:23

Out of interest, does anyone know what the eligibility requirements are for social housing?

mrssmith79 · 24/07/2015 16:24

In fact, thinking about it, 120k round these parts is easily enough to purchase 2 buy to let properties giving a monthly income that both covers the rent shortfall and leaves enough for a repairs slush fund. She should be thinking creatively (I'm sure she will once the initial shock and despair wears off).

expatinscotland · 24/07/2015 16:25

Seems so common on MN, Fay, so many know the exact financial details of all their friends.

FayKorgasm · 24/07/2015 16:27

Aye I know. I can barely remember what dh earns never mind my friends or what they spend on take aways.

expatinscotland · 24/07/2015 16:27

And, in the spirit of friendship, post threads about it on MN.

Lurkedforever1 · 24/07/2015 16:35

paddington in theory a list of categories, top being homelessness, last being any one who wants it, with things like overcrowding or unsuitable etc in between. Living hand to mouth to pay your current private rent is right down with 'anyone who wants it' ditto being on hb as criteria. In reality you need to be homeless to get one near me. Although mutual swops are possible if you need bigger or ground floor etc you're down the list same as a non tenant.

RachelRagged · 24/07/2015 16:37

No OP YANBU

The Gravy Train has stopped for her . These are the kinds who annoy me. Tennis lessons ? They would be a luxery to me . She will just have to get on with it imo.

gamerchick · 24/07/2015 16:37

You sounded there like you near enough creamed your jeans with your post OP. Did you do a squee when you heard the news?

I'm more interested with what's going to happen with private rents when it all kicks in. There is no cap after all.

Personally the secure tenancy is worth the extra cost imo.

Howcanitbe · 24/07/2015 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

faitaccompli · 24/07/2015 16:39

Although I agree with you totally, the issue is that she has budgeted according to her current costs - and if one of those costs (a major one) is increasing by that amount, it will completely change her living standards.

However, my view is that she has been lucky for a long time - and she can go out and find a job paying more than £4k a year.

Branleuse · 24/07/2015 16:39

YABU, if thats her rent, that would be a completely unreasonable increase, and effectively forcing her out.

Are you in favour of ghettos?

Love51 · 24/07/2015 16:40

expat those of us in the public sector are so.used to our wages being public information that we forget to be all coy and British about it.

Paddingtonthebear · 24/07/2015 16:41

I assume that there is an income eligibility involved at some stage and that must vary from council to council?

brownpaperbag2 · 24/07/2015 16:44

I am upset for my friend, not happy. More to the point I find the price of private rent utterly disgusting. It is ripping off a whole generation or more who can't afford to buy.

We live in Kent. A very nice area of Kent - spa town - the house prices around here are madness. £450 for a 3 bed detached house is unreasonablele.

OP posts:
HuftysTrain · 24/07/2015 16:46

Did you jot down her financial plan as she was relaying it to you? You seem to have every detail.

OP, is this really about you?

brownpaperbag2 · 24/07/2015 16:50

No, not about me. I do know her finances though, as she does mine. Not very British is it?!

No body will afford to live in the South East at this rate, and we are an hours commute away from the city too.

OP posts:
Toofat2BtheFly · 24/07/2015 16:51

Of course she is freaking out . Wouldn't you if you were faced with finding several of £100's of pound a month extra with no more to show for it than what you already have .

It's going to be a massive adjustment for every SH tenant in this postion .

Luckily she seems to have a good friend in you , you know, a proper sounding board for all her woes Confused

SH tenants are freaking out all over the country because it's made the whole policy of making work pay null and void ... Why try to better yourselves when next door gets the same thing for a lot less .

HuftysTrain · 24/07/2015 16:51

But how have you remembered so many details? Did you write it all down??? It's all very specific!

Lurkedforever1 · 24/07/2015 16:52

If there is income eligibility it's not included either council or ha locally, because you could be living on £40 to pay the difference between your hb and your private rent and you need to get evicted and become homeless to get on the list. They may use it to stop people getting onto the list for other criteria, eg if you're second floor with no lift and have mobility problems, if you earn enough they may well tell you they aren't even putting you on the list, but I'm not positive on that.

nicoleshitzinger · 24/07/2015 16:53

Successive governments have supported housing and financial policies which have resulted in massive pressure being put on our housing stock through people buying multiple properties for investment purposes. The result of this is that housing in some parts of the UK is now disproportionately expensive.

I'm sad to see so many people arguing that someone in social housing should be forced to pay the distorted market rents that everyone else is paying on the basis that it won't cripple them as much as it would cripple others because they are on an modest income (for the region) rather than living in poverty.

OP - your envy of your friend screams out of your post. Your post is spiteful.

Honestly, you're not a friend to her. Sad

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 24/07/2015 16:55

One minute your saying it's right, whinging about your friend and her lifestyle and telling her she should suck it up. Few minutes later, after several others post, you suddenly switch into being upset for her and saying it's unfair because 'where are people meant to get the money', 'can I petition against this?' ? rolls eyes

YANBU in one sense but in another you are. That is a huge increase for your friend to have to (potentially) suddenly start paying with no added benefit to her life. That is a big shock, requires planning and I imagine it is quite hard to swallow to suddenly have to do that to get the same thing you already had.

Not sure how things are elsewhere in the country, but I know in my city a lot of HA properties are already at 80% of Market Rate. Once a tenancy ends on a property that isn't, unless it's a complete dive in an area desperately in need of regeneration, then the rent for the next tenant will be 80% of Market Rate. So you can have neighbours with identical houses, both with the same HA and one paying quite a bit more than the other.

expatinscotland · 24/07/2015 16:57

Yeah, you sound really upset for her, posting all about her personal life on a huge forum with the thread title, 'that is reality for many so suck it up'. Your OP sounds really concerned for her. With friends like you, who needs enemies.

brownpaperbag2 · 24/07/2015 16:58

I know her finances because she has told me. I remember that is all.

I am incredulous at the situation. How can the government do this?

I am not jealous, I own my own home with no mortgage, a 4 bed detached house.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 24/07/2015 17:01

You are incredulous? Wow. Just a few hours ago, you sounded rather scornful of her. But now at least, the world knows you have a 4-bed detached house with no mortgage.

And I'm really the Duchess of Cambridge.

ilovesooty · 24/07/2015 17:03

That's nice.

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