What do you do about stealing?

[WLTMEET]

My dd (9) has a crazy sweet tooth, and a generally large appetite which I work to moderate. She's healthy etc.
She keeps however, taking stuff from the kitchen that I've not said is ok, such as biscuits and chocolate. Yesterday's offence was that she opened a box of chocolates that were given to me as a gift and then lied and lied and lied about it until I stupidly offered her an amnesty if she confessed! I know some people (my mum for eg) will say you shouldn't leave treats under a kids nose but I am of the belief that you shouldn't need to hide things in obscure places in order to avoid them being taken. She has before now, totally stuffed herself with huge amounts of sweet stuff before breakfast, and then in order to avoid getting called on, sat down to her usual breakfast.

What do you do if kids take things and then lie about it? I've tried removing things, taking away privileges etc but she seems to weigh those up against the instant gratification of a chocolate bar and decide it's worth it. It's happening far too often:/

[Tequilashotfor1]

If her addiction is that bad then take her to see a councillor otherwise stop treating her like a victim. She is not. She is a child that is taking what she wants when she wants.

Your last sentence speaks volumes. You basically can't be arsed with the drama if she kicks off. How do you think you will deal with this when she is 15, 16,17?

[WLTMEET]

Tequilla. Can't be arsed with the drama? Do fuck off

[Tequilashotfor1]

You won't leave some where because you think your child will kick up a fuss. She is nine years old.

[WLTMEET]

Can you not read? I said a temper tantrum would also be a huge heap of emotion, something the previous poster advised avoiding.

[MrsPnut]

But you only have to follow through once or twice before your daughter knows that if you say it then you mean it. That's part of the battle, because when your child doesn't believe that you mean it then it becomes background noise.

I have a face and tone of voice that my kids know means business but I have once had to cut short a visit to my MIL's because of Dd1's poor behaviour and she once missed a club she wanted to go to. Each time she was warned and then I followed it through.

[WLTMEET]

I actually consider myself someone who is fairly strict when it comes to poor behaviour. I don't tolerate tantrums and I rarely deal with them. She's a good kid. A genuinely good kid. Behaviour around food though is much harder to navigate because of the emotional issues attached to it. I'm delighted for Teauila that she doesn't face these issues.

[ListenWillYou]

I think it's difficult to give the right message about treats to kids. I was pretty blunt with mine that eating a lot of crap can make you put weight on and it's bad for your teeth. I also would use the word greedy if there were out at a party and there were treats piled high. I'd remind them that the treats were for everyone and that it would be greedy to have too many.

We had a policy of one treat a day. I let them choose the treat and told them that it should be something they would really enjoy. I really pressed the point that food should be enjoyable but that you have to be sensible. I clearly said from a young age that you had to gently keep an eye on your weight - although I always emphasised that it was a health issue rather than a looks issue.

We had very few treats in the house.

My 4 DC are adults now and still roughly keep to the one treat a day rule. They all have a sweet tooth like me but don't go overboard with it.

I think 9 is quite old to be pleading for treats and I think it's old to be telling lies such as the one about opening the box of chocolates. It does seem quite immature. . It's not easy to deal with and I don't think there is an easy answer.