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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think everybody in the gym will be size 10

50 replies

toofatforgym · 24/07/2015 11:56

I guess I know I am BU but just need confirmation and experiences.

I am in my 50's, size 20/22 and have recently started to look after myself. For the last month I have cut down portion sizes and eat more healthily which is beginning to tell but I now need to start exercising.

I am thinking of going to a gym but have never been before and have this vision of everybody there being all slim and toned and that they will look at me and laugh. (Not normally this paranoid but its fear of the unknown I guess).

So, tell me please, do you go to the gym and judge others?

OP posts:
Howmanywotwots · 24/07/2015 11:59

I go to the gym and I'm a size 8, not super fit. In my gym there are some very very muscly fit men, some super fit women and about half of people are normal.

There are some people who are just starting out and I think the general feeling towards them is 'good for you, keep it up'

fivepies · 24/07/2015 11:59

No! Our gym has people of all ages and all sizes.

I had the same worries as you before I joined a gym and was pleasantly surprised by the atmosphere. Everyone is far too busy exercising (or chatting to each other) to be worried about what you are doing.
Everyone is there because they want to be a bit fitter so you'll just be the same as everyone else.
Good luck, I reckon you'll enjoy it! xx

Theycallmemellowjello · 24/07/2015 12:00

There will be people of all shapes and sizes! And they really won't be peering round at others there. There will be very fit people, but don't let that put you off.

fourquenelles · 24/07/2015 12:03

You can wave at me toofatforgym I am in my late 50s and a size 22/24 but determined to get fitter before I am 60. I am going to the gym and swimming in addition to walking my dogs. I am going for me, not for anyone else so I really wouldn't care if people stare and laugh but they don't. Good luck.

sleepwhenidie · 24/07/2015 12:03

I expect there are small, private gyms like that but at my local council one (which is pretty good) there are all ages, from 14-70+, all sizes, races/religion (including full hijab - must be hot!) and all abilities, including some people in wheelchairs or with quite severe disabilities. I judge the teenagers when they hang around in groups hogging equipment and clowning around in the way of others and the grunty meatheads who have the attitude that the free weights belong to them only Hmm but beyond that, not at all. Most people plug in their headphones and get on with their thing, perhaps chat to regulars they know, there's no atmosphere of judgement at all.

AuntyMag10 · 24/07/2015 12:03

No don't worry about it, there's every body type at the gym. The most important thing is you're doing something about it. Honestly when u see bigger sized people at the gym, my only thought if I even notice it is good on them! Seriously no one really even bothers about the next person.

AlpacaMyBags · 24/07/2015 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vida · 24/07/2015 12:06

I am close to your size (hopefully smaller soon, ha!), and go to the gym, and can assure you than in mine (a big chain gym) - there is a huge, huge variety of people. Big, small, old, young, male, female...all going at different paces.

I have never, ever felt in any way self concious, or ever felt anyone was looking at me in particular or judging me.

Screw them if they are. I'm improving myself.

If I see someone bigger at the gym, my only thought is 'good for you for trying to get fitter, because it's not bloody easy!'

Definitely give it a go! Most gyms will give you a free trial day to see how you get on.

KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable · 24/07/2015 12:07

Even the most beautiful gym bunnies think they have fat thighs. Especially them actually. No one will judge you. If anything they'll be thinking "good on you".

feckityfeck · 24/07/2015 12:11

I have never judged anyone at the gym. I love that there's all sorts there.

Nobody seems to pay that much attention to anyone else in the gym though. And anyway, if anyone was judging, fuck 'em, you have as much right to be there as they do.

SanityClause · 24/07/2015 12:16

My mother started going to the gym at 70. She does three sessions a week, either swimming, or exercise bike, then weights. She chats to most people, apparently. (Although, she has HFA, so her understanding of social rules is a bit screwy.)

Original poster
toofatforgym · 24/07/2015 12:19

Thanks everyone, you are all lovely and put my mind to rest :) Have just checked and found that my local gym do a ladies only section too so have booked a taster session for next Sunday!

OP posts:
goodnessgraciousgouda · 24/07/2015 12:22

I think - complete twats aside (and you will find them everywhere and anywhere without exception) - most gym goers would save their judgement for the skinny weirdos that walk on machines in full make up, at a speed of continental drift, or just stand on the machines doing sod all but chat.

People who are very big or hugely unfit tend to illicit more of a "good for you!" internal reaction.

Besides, most others at the gym are focussing entirely on trying not to fart whilst running, trying not to sound like a warthog in heat, or worrying that their ipod is going to run out of battery before they finish.

SaucyJack · 24/07/2015 12:31

Have you got a specific gym in mind?

Most will let you look round first, and if you tried out a few I don't doubt you will find one where you feel comfortable.

Original poster
toofatforgym · 24/07/2015 12:36

Goodnessgracious... aaah I hadn't given the fart thing a second thought! Maybe I will cut down on the bran next week before I go!

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 24/07/2015 12:41

I'll be in the gym later, I'm a 14/16. Lots of different sizes in most gyms I've been to ( except on Fri evenings when it's just young single men pumping iron so they can show off their muscles later in town!).

Gwlondon · 24/07/2015 12:43

No I don't judge others unless I think they have already done something I don't like.

There are so many different ways to go to the gym. Before work. Evenings. And different people are there at different times. If you don't like what ever you try first you can keep trying different things until you find something you like.

You can make it work for you. Some gyms have women only areas and they are very quiet. There are classes. There are so many different ways to go to the gym.

The thin beautiful ones are insecure too. I once saw a lovely lady change her outfit I presume because she felt self conscious.

TheStoic · 24/07/2015 12:48

Go for it, OP. Gyms are not just for people who are already fit and thin. :-)

If you were a size 10, what would you think if you saw a size 20 woman at the gym?

helenahandbag · 24/07/2015 12:54

most others at the gym are focussing entirely on trying not to fart whilst running

I've had to stop eating baked potatoes with beans for lunch on days that I'm going to the gym after work Blush

I almost had to leave my bootcamp class after an incident when I tried to stand up after a set of pelvic bridges. Word to the wise: don't heave yourself up quite so hard if there's no music on.

scarlets · 24/07/2015 12:59

I'd be inclined to go to a council gym rather than a swanky one, because you see a broader range (of age and socio-economic demographic, as well as size).

The council gym I attend is full of all sorts of people focusing on their own health, not other folks'.

Start by going at quieter times ie not weekday evenings or Saturday mornings. Not because you should be embarrassed, but for your own comfort at the beginning.

Good luck and enjoy it.

YouTheCat · 24/07/2015 12:59

I've had to stop having fruit a few hours before the gym as it gurgles and ferments away and I just can't hold that much flatulence in. Grin

OP, go for it. I was a 20, heading towards a 22, this time last year. Now I'm almost a 16. I have ribs again!

Icelandicsuperyoghurt · 24/07/2015 13:07

I started going to my nearest council gym last November with the same fears you have. I'm in my mid 50's and because i have a joint problem I just do brisk walking on the treadmill, a few arm machines, the bike and a leg squeezy thing.

There are people of ALL ages, shapes, sizes and abilities. Some wear full lycra and some wear battered t shirts and joggers. I usually find myself on the treadmill, walking away between two uber fit looking people, jogging fast for ages. i don't feel judged or as if anyone is looking at me. And I'm proud of myself for doing what I can.

Go for it. There will be all sorts there, including Usain Bolt wannabees and those like me, who can't do that much. Everyone seems so focused on themselves that unless you walked in starkers, no one is likely to give you a second glance.

TheFormidableMrsC · 24/07/2015 13:11

No, go for it OP! There is a woman at my gym who lost 11 stone...she had an amazing PT and watching her shrink was amazing. Don't you dare feel embarrassed...you're doing something amazing for your life and your health. Good luck to you! Flowers

hstar1995 · 24/07/2015 13:14

Go for it OP! I'm a size 16 (was a size 20 when I started) and honestly, I've had no bad looks/remarks. I always think that everyones too busy working out to look at others - if I'm paying 30 quid a month for the gym then I want to make the most of my time at the gym, and I assume it's the same for everyone else Smile

Original poster
toofatforgym · 24/07/2015 13:15

I didn't realise there was so much to it... think I will give the lycra a miss and stick with joggers and t shirt and thanks for the tip about fruit.

The one I have booked a session with is a council run gym so I'm sure they will be all as lovely as you posters.

Am quite looking forward to it now. Apart from what to wear and not to eat fruit, is there anything else I need to know?

OP posts: