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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be getting married in 1.5 hours and still haven't picked a name

44 replies

UndecidedWomble · 24/07/2015 09:33

I will be getting married this morning. Still haven't decided if I should be:
Mrs Womble (keep my maiden)
Mrs DHname
Mrs Womble-DHname
Something completely new ......

Does it really matter if I haven't chosen yet?

OP posts:
Gem124 · 24/07/2015 09:38

Don't be worrying about that today! Just have an amazing day and see how you feel once you've been married a few days. Fwiw I think it's a loving uniting feeling to have the same name. Now get off mumsnet and get some champagne :-)

slkk · 24/07/2015 09:40

Try them all out for a while then decide when your passport needs renewing!

AuntyMag10 · 24/07/2015 09:41

Happy wedding day! Agree with gem about wanting to share the same name, I took my dh's. However today isn't the day to worry about that, just enjoy!

MaltaVestrit · 24/07/2015 09:41

what gem said!

you can change it any time, don't rush the decision if you don't feel ready!

SockQueen · 24/07/2015 09:41

Doesn't matter, you don't really have to decide immediately. I have changed my name, and am mostly happy about it, but occasionally miss my old one, even though I hated having it at the time. Have a fantastic day!

KittensOnAPlane · 24/07/2015 09:42

I changed mine 2 years after my wedding x

CuttedUpPear · 24/07/2015 09:44

Get DH to take yours.
Don't give in to the patriarchy.

PolShelby · 24/07/2015 09:44

It doesn't matter, enjoy your day and honeymoon and then decide when you get back! We ended up hyphenating and we both changed ours about 4 weeks after the wedding day.

Hope your day is brilliant! Good luck.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 24/07/2015 09:44

I only changed mine when the dc came along. There's really no rush.

AdeleDazeem · 24/07/2015 09:45

Flowers happy wedding day Mrs.

Dowser · 24/07/2015 09:45

Enjoy your day. You put your old/ usual name on the licence anyway which is odd as its my divorced name.

Have a great day. Congratulations.

Koalafications · 24/07/2015 09:48

Enjoy your wedding day. Flowers Wine

Don't think about what name you will have today. Think about when you have came back from honeymoon (if you are going on one) and have settled into married life.

pinkyredrose · 24/07/2015 09:48

You don't have to be Mrs, you can use Miss or Ms. I don't see why any woman these days would take the mans name but it's your decision.

Congrats on your wedding, have a great day!

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 24/07/2015 09:48

I've been married 6 years I still have my maiden name on a couple of bits.. don't worry! Get married and think about it at a later date!

PacificDogwood · 24/07/2015 09:52

Congratulations!
Hope you have a great day and very happy married life Thanks

I am MrsDHsName for dentists/drs/other appointments, am MrsDouble-Barrelled in my passport (so I share a name with my DCs) and DrMaidenname at work.
I never had to formally decide what my name was to be.

Flingingmelon · 24/07/2015 09:54

Congratulations!

I find it quite handy to be Mrs melon on some things and Miss maiden name on others. I am a spy thoughWink

BathtimeFunkster · 24/07/2015 09:56

Unless your husband to be is also spending this morning wondering what name he'll use later on today, I wouldn't give it a second's more thought.

Imlookingatboats · 24/07/2015 09:59

I suppose a sneaky pic of the dress is out of the question...?

Andrewofgg · 24/07/2015 09:59

Have a great day whatever damned name you use!

dixiechick1975 · 24/07/2015 10:01

I didn't change for 6 months - did it when we moved house. I use miss and maiden at work and Mrs dh for the rest. Congratulations. lovely sunny day for it too.

ActiviaYoghurt · 24/07/2015 10:03

I have my passport in my maiden name still four years later. Have a fantastic day!

Original poster
UndecidedWomble · 24/07/2015 10:06

Thank you all. I will leave the decision (or pick something stupid after having a few glasses of bubbly after Grin). Will add a photo of the dress later, it is very un-weddingy dress like though!

OP posts:
ARoseByAnyOther · 24/07/2015 10:07

I changed my name on marriage, then changed it back to my original name two years later (still married though!). No decision is permanent - don't stress about it today. Smile

TriJo · 24/07/2015 10:07

YANBU - I only decided 2 days after my wedding in May that I was going to take my husband's name, and I still have a lot of the name change process to go through. I can't change my passport until after Christmas because my husband already booked our flights back to Ireland in my maiden name.

I'm not changing at work because I work in IT and I know how many things are liable to break if I do!

NameChange30 · 24/07/2015 10:12

Happy Wedding Day! Smile Flowers

You don't have to decide today, just enjoy the day and see how you feel. There's no deadline for changing or keeping your name! Having said that, it would be a good idea to decide before you send out thank you cards, so you can include your new name (eg print your names and address in the card and/or on the envelope). That way people will know what to call you!

And remember, you could be "Ms" instead of "Mrs" (that's what I did, I'm "Ms Myname Hisname).
Tbh "Mrs Maidenname" could be your father's wife, so I think that's a bit weird, but that could just be me!

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