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AIBU?

To ask if you ttc again after miscarriage?

38 replies

ShimmeringCobalt · 22/07/2015 23:12

And would you if you were 36 with 2dc already?

It's probably far too soon to ask this and to think about it for myself as MMC was just yesterday but it's in my mind...

Not sure if I should be "happy with the dc I've got" as people keep saying.

Dr said my age may be a factor but they can't say for sure.

Did you ttc after a mc and what age were you?

OP posts:

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MrsHathaway · 22/07/2015 23:15

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Yes, I did, in the supposed post-mc fertility boost. One is asleep upstairs and the other is sort of waking up (ARGH).

I was 28 and 32 respectively.

Three is a lot of children, I have to say.

Only1scoop · 22/07/2015 23:16

I had dd at 37

I had a MMC at 17 weeks age 40
I had a 2nd MMC at 9 weeks age 41

I won't be trying again as to old and terrified.

I'm sorry for your loss Op

textfan · 22/07/2015 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistletoeBUTNOwine · 22/07/2015 23:17

We are, mc in May. Have 2 dc so this is no. 3. I'm 35 this year.

LegoLady95 · 22/07/2015 23:17

Sorry for your loss. We ttc straight after a miscarriage, I was 30. I had my 3rd child aged 37, so would definitely have tried again if I'd had a mc at 36 having decided to try for number 3. I think the fact you have 2 df already means you have every chance of another.
Good luck.

Mumoftwinsandanother · 22/07/2015 23:20

Sorry for your loss. Yes I was 36 when I had my MC. Already had 2 kids and a lot of people said be happy with what you have but if you want a baby, you want a baby. He is just about to turn three and I'm really glad I tried again. 3 is hard work but the interactions between them make it all worth it. Hope whatever you want works out for you. X

PinguForPresident · 22/07/2015 23:21

We did at 36 after 3 x m/c and one dd.

It was hard and scary and if it hadn't worked out (it did) we'd not have tried again.

TheRealAmyLee · 22/07/2015 23:21

Sorry for your loss. It's a very personal decision. Personally I would try again after 1 mc if it was a much wanted baby regardless of age and without thinking twice BUT if I had 2 mc in a row I think would make me think twice.

neolara · 22/07/2015 23:23

Sorry for your loss.

Yes. My first pregnancy ended in a mc. I went on to have 3dcs and another 3 mcs. It is, unfortunately, very common to have a mc.

DoJo · 22/07/2015 23:24

I had 2 mc in a row last year aged 34, and am currently pregnant with my second child aged 35. Never considered not trying as I wanted another - if I was set on having another child I would try again no question.

leedy · 22/07/2015 23:29

Yes, started trying again a couple of cycles after m/c, got pregnant straight away with DS2. I was 39. I found a thread here for TTC after a loss, it was really helpful and supportive.

Doctors in the hospital I went to said your chance of miscarriage does increase a bit with age, but it's generally just "one of those things" - as a PP said, miscarriage is sadly very common and I know many of my my friends have had them. 36 isn't particularly old, fwiw.

dougieroseagain · 22/07/2015 23:33

I had 3 miscarriages in between DD and DS. There is a 9 year age gap between them and I was 41 when DS was born. A friend had 11 miscarriages between her first two children.

I think the moral of this story is ... if you're emotionally strong enough to keep going, then keep going.

and hugs. A miscarriage is total shit.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 22/07/2015 23:39

I got pregnant within weeks of a MC. It wasn't planned, but was a happy surprise, who is now a gorgeous 5 year old. I am sorry you are going through this, and I wish you luck whatever you decide to do.

NobodyLivesHere · 22/07/2015 23:42

I did yes, I was younger, but I think If that want to have another is still there your age is irrelevant. X

BlackeyedSusan · 22/07/2015 23:50

yes, caught first month such that the miscarriage was the last monthly period... he is asleep upstairs! I was 38

Bluewombler2k · 22/07/2015 23:57

Hi, I had two miscarriages, 2nd was 7 months after first. We are now expecting our second child in November, and I will have just turned 39.
Sorry for your loss, if it's truly what you want to do then I would try again. It has been a nervewrecking 5 months and will be until the baby is born but so glad we decided to give it one more go. Give yourself spave to move on from this sad time and see how you feel in a few months. In the meantime, concentrate on getting yourself healthy physically and emotionally

ShadowsCollideCantLogInToMN · 23/07/2015 00:15

So sorry for your loss.

I had 5 MCs in my twenties. I'm 30 now, and tbh, we won't be actively trying again. We've finally managed to somewhat move on from the pain, heartache and despair, we're properly happy again now after a long bleak period, and I just don't know if we could cope with going through that again. I started suffering serious anxiety during that time, and it's still plaguing me. For example, we now have 2 pet cats, and the anxiety I have about something happening to them is unreal. Of course, I'm not comparing cats to babies, but it's like a consuming terror of losing another thing that I've loved and nurtured. I know it's silly and irrational, and so disproportionate, but I can't help it.

As AmyLee said though, it's such a personal thing. And there's every chance that you will go on to have a successful pregnancy. In your situation, I personally would try again.

It's so tough though. I guess all you can do is give yourself some time to heal, physically but more importantly emotionally, and take it from there.

Again, sorry for your loss, and best of luck to you. I really hope everything works out for you.

EchoesOfLeon · 23/07/2015 00:44

Yes I suppose we will try again because we haven't actually managed to have any DC yet. Don't worry if it takes you a while to be ready though OP

DustyMaiden · 23/07/2015 00:45

My lovely DS is 14 now. He was the result of my 14 th pregnancy. I was 39 when he was born. ( I had two DDs now 28 and 25 years old.)

Benby · 23/07/2015 01:03

Hi sorry to hear of your loss.
I had dd1 and dd2 and we then decided to try for dc3 . I had 3 miscarriages one after another. Had investigations done told just bad luck. Decided to try once more and that one stuck had ds1 last September. Decided to have 1 more unfortunately this pregnancy ended when the heartbeat stopped at 8 weeks. I had a d&c 3 weeks ago have been bleeding since.
Just found out today that I have a blood clot in my c section scar and I can't try again for a year. They're also investigating why my pregnancy test is still positive.
So I am now 38 and today has decided for me that I am done trying and I'm happy with what I have. I want to be here to see my children grow up. This is the first time my health has been at risk through all my pregnancies and miscarriages so enough is enough for me.
I am devastated about this but in time I will accept it and I'm really lucky to have 3 beautiful children and I thank god every day that I decided to try that one last time which gave me my happy smiley boy he completes our family.
I wish you all the best only you can decide if your strong enough to try again.

EllenJanethickerknickers · 23/07/2015 01:06

I had 2 DC and a MMC at age 36. I had an ERPC, waited for my next period then used an ovulation test kit and was very lucky to get immediately pregnant with DC3. I was 37 having him. I did find the pregnancy harder, but I had 2 others to look after.

I have never regretted it. Even when DC2 was DXed with ASD, even when exH left. DC3 completed my family and has been a joy. DC1 and DC3 bookend my gorgeous DC2 and are such good company, they hold us all together.

Moopsboopsmum · 23/07/2015 02:30

Sorry for your loss, yes I did, I was 34 but once I had my one precious DC I decided not to ever try again as the emotional toll was too much for me.

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oobedobe · 23/07/2015 04:06

I had 4 mc in two years after having dd1. I was ready to give up but a friend (who had also been though the mill to get her dc) told me if I really wanted dc2 I should just try again. I got pregnant with dd2 that week. Sorry for your loss.

Weareboatsremember · 23/07/2015 07:04

I've put off ttc number 2 after a mmc at 9 weeks in February. I have a dd and am
30, so have decided to leave it for a couple more years as I can't face it happening again just yet. If I was late 30s I might feel differently, but for me it hinges on how desperate I am to have another child, and how willing I am to hear bad news at a scan again.
So sorry for your loss, mc are shit

Brummiegirl15 · 23/07/2015 07:05

I'm currently on my 4th pregnancy after 3 mc's in a row and I had my 12 wk scan this week.

I'm 38 and I had to keep try as I had no dcs and desperately wanted a family

I'm so sorry

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