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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you ttc again after miscarriage?

38 replies

ShimmeringCobalt · 22/07/2015 23:12

And would you if you were 36 with 2dc already?

It's probably far too soon to ask this and to think about it for myself as MMC was just yesterday but it's in my mind...

Not sure if I should be "happy with the dc I've got" as people keep saying.

Dr said my age may be a factor but they can't say for sure.

Did you ttc after a mc and what age were you?

OP posts:

Tanith · 23/07/2015 07:08

Yes, I kept trying after several miscarriages.

My son was born after 2 miscarriages and my daughter born after a further 4. I was 42 when my DD was born and I was very gently told by the midwife that perhaps I shouldn't try again. I'd already come to that decision anyway

andadietcoke · 23/07/2015 07:14

I'm sorry for your loss.

Yes, I waited a cycle (think I was told to wait two though) and then conceived the DTs. I was 31 and they were first DCs. My first period after the MC was horrendous and I was glad I'd not tried to get pregnant straight away.

contractor6 · 23/07/2015 07:15

We had been ttc for a year when got bfp sadly mc at 8 weeks, ttc again after 1st period and got bfp next month. This bean has stuck and currently 32 weeks. I am 37. Statistically you are more likely to.conceive after mc and some studies show less likely to mc within 6 months. Getting pregnant again helped me deal with the sadness of losing first one. Hope you feel better soon

contractor6 · 23/07/2015 07:18

brummiegirl sorry for all your losses 3 mc must be tough, you have to to be strong to go through that. Hope your 12 week scan goes well

zazzie · 23/07/2015 07:22

Stillbirth at 35 following fertility treatment. Living child at 37 following more treatment. We decided not to have more treatment but if we could have conceived naturally we would have tried again.

RachelWatts · 23/07/2015 07:28

I had my first mc at 32, then went on to concieve DS1 although both times it took a year.

I fell pregnant for a third time when I was 36 but sadly there was no heartbeat at the first scan.

It then took another year to concieve DS2.

Sorry for your loss.

Monroe · 23/07/2015 07:32

I had 2 MMC between ds and DD. I was 34 and 35 at the time. I desperately wanted another dc so we made the decision to try one more time and I was lucky to get pregnant straight away which resulted in DD. We had said if anything happened again we would stop trying however thankfully we didn't have to make that decision. Good luck with whatever you decide and brummiegirl all the best for this pregnancy

fififolle · 23/07/2015 07:35

So sorry for your loss, it's such a tough time for you.
I have one DS who is just over 5.
I had a MC last October followed by medical management and ERPC.
I conceived again in Feb but lost that one in April, this time natural MC.
I found the second MC much easier to deal with and conceived again in May. I'm currently 10weeks pregnant at the age of 37, I will be 38 when the baby is born.
There have been plenty of times when I've questioned it all in my head but I've continued TTC as I've always wanted a sibling for DS and didn't want to get in to my mid 40s and look back wishing I'd continued.
Good luck, take care .

PicaK · 23/07/2015 07:38

I am so sorry for your loss. I am also so fucking ANGRY at these people who think that the grief you feel for the one you've lost should be in any way moderated by the fact you have children already.
They don't know what they are talking about. They may be midguidedly trying to console you (or even themselves if it's your other half saying it.)
But right now you need time and space to just grieve. It's horribly painful and it can be easier to try and shut it out by making plans for the future.
The very best advice given after a miscarriage is to be kind to yourself. You are not stupid for wanting this child or another one. But equally you need to heal emotionally and physically and put life on pause a little bit. You'll be stronger afterwards for doing it (ignore anyone trying to cheer you up using distraction techniques).

MsJuniper · 23/07/2015 07:39

I had wonderful and much-longed-for DS at 36, started ttc again when he was 18mo and got pg after a few months but had a mc, then after 1 cycle tried again and caught first time, sadly this also ended in mc. This time they said to wait a couple of cycles which is hard as my cycles are long and I've now turned 39. Just gearing up to try again but terrified of another loss.

Hoviscats · 23/07/2015 07:43

Well timed thread for me. I am just coming out the other side of a mmc. Already have 1 DS (4.5) and it took me a long time to decide to try for DC2.

I now feel like I just want to ttc as soon as possible to be honest after having decided that I want another baby.

I think though that if I had another MC I might decide to not try again. Although I guess I won't know until I am in that position....fingers crossed I never find out!

Hoviscats · 23/07/2015 07:43

Oh and I am 33

fhdl34 · 23/07/2015 07:45

I'm really sorry for your loss. I had an MC 3 weeks ago (seems longer than that though) and we are trying again. I am 37 and have 2 DC. Not sure how long we'll try for or what we'll do if it happens again but we were on the fence a bit about no 3 and losing the baby solidified for us that actually we do want 3 children and even before we had the first it is what we had always wanted. We're not really waiting for first period (already had unprotected sex 2 days after bleeding stopped) but we will be 'trying' in the same manner as before which is just relaxed and sex 2-4 times per week rather than 'I am ovulating we must do it NOW' (that's how we conceived our 2 DCs and although I am so grateful they are here 4 years of a sex life like that just didn't make for the happiest marriage for us). So who knows if I'll catch again, what will be will be but I don't want to get obsessed again so trying very hard to find my relaxed happy that I had before 3 weeks ago

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