Where do the SN children go?

[Levismum]

I'm starting a new job in September. I am a LP to 4 dc. 2 of the dc are Autistic. Both attend a special school.

One child receives respite from SS. 6 hours per week. The younger child is still waiting to be assessed in terms of respite.

So I'm organising childcare as I will need childcare in the holidays. We've been through many Nanny's & Aupairs. Literally thrown money at the situation but they all leave as the children are too difficult to manage.

Boys are too old for a CM so all that appears to be left are playschemes. There is a Special Needs one fairly local but it's £425 per boy for 25 hours. I can only book one week.per boys, even if I could afford £950 per week for 6 weeks. Add a toddler onto that as well.

When I asked how other parents manage. I was told nearly all children are funded by Personal Budgets. That the playscheme is respite not childcare.

I was told it's really not an issue as most LP with disabled dc don't work.

Really?
AIBU by wanting to work?
What do other LP of disabled dc do?

My sympathies OP. LP here, with 2 dcs with SNs. I don't work because I can't. Ds1 goes to SS, and ds2 is HE as he couldn't cope with MS. (still fighting to get an EHCP for him with a view to getting him into the SS) I used to work full time in a good paying job - but it was shift work including weekends, nights, holidays. Literally no family that can help out in any way. We're just inside the border of distance so ds1 doesn't even get paid transport to school, but thankfully I have a car so don't have to push him to school in his wheelchair daily, dragging ds2 along (as he struggles with a walk that far).

Both are in the midst of huge amounts of appointments due to medication changes, attempts at diagnostic tests, and check ups/assessments for other medical/developmental problems. Throw in my own ongoing illness that I'm on high doses of medication for the 3rd time in four months.

As much as I'd love to have a job as I am so incredibly isolated, I don't see it happening any time soon. I look back at when dd was young, and I was working 3 jobs to make ends meet (and to stay off benefits). But she is NT, and this situation is just so different. Due to their specific issues and SNs, the childcare situation must be absolutely specific for them to be safe - and there just isn't anything remotely suitable in the area - and if there was, I probably couldn't afford it. It's demoralising.

I now work full time and I can't pretend it's easy. I use direct payments and employ a SEN TA (different school than ds attends) and have hours at complex needs respite centre as part of care package. Huge juggle and I'm not a lone parent.

I havent been able to work many hours since I had Dd3 she has Asd and separation issues! I have never used a childminder [she threw the towel in after one complete day of screaming] or out of school care.

It has effected my career prospects, in fact I havent moved forward in terms of career for 12 yrs!

There is a huge gap in child care for children with special needs!

i have 3 kids, 2 with SEN, one in a SEN school, and the other mainstream but fully statemented, and I cant work. I cant think of any way of being able to work and not be financially, physically and emotionally up shit creek and everyone suffering.
I want to be able to work. If I had better support I might be able to manage something part time, in term time, but I dont see many of those jobs around, and there would be a lot of days/weeks I wouldnt be able to go in at all.

This is why you are not obliged to work as the carer of disabled children. whether you want to or not, is a different issue. Having children makes it harder to work. Having disabled children makes it even harder. Being a LP with all those issues, I think youre fantasising tbh

I have 2 DC with SN and had to give up work. DS goes to special school and there is no option for childcare in the school holidays where I live. I feel so isolated as when both DC are off school we have to stay in the house all day as I cannot cope with taking them both out on my own.

I had to give up work when DD started school full time as there was no way I could find anyone qualified to look after her after school and in the holidays. She has physical and learning disabilities and needed to be at home where all her equipment was. Before she started school FT, I employed a nanny but this wasn't practical for just the start and end of school day and the holidays.

The only holiday club runs from 9.30 - 3.30 and is 16 miles away with no transport provided. It is also in the opposite direction to where I worked. It is run by the LA and is £15 per day but you can only have 2 days a week so not much use for working parents.

There are now specialist childminders around here who will take children up to 14 (i think) and the LA hold a register of who they are.

15 years after I gave up work, I am still a carer/SAHM as even though my DD is in adult services now, she doesn't leave the house until 9.30 and is back by 4.30 and as we live in a rural area, it doesn't give me much time to get to a job - if I could get and keep one, with all the appointments/meetings/illness which would require me to take time off work.

I wish you luck OP but unless you can get the LA to fund care, you will end up making a loss on working and the benefit gained by getting out and meeting people will be negated by the stress of the whole childcare situation. The only single parents of disabled children that I know who work, all work as school lunchtime supervisors or part time TA's in Primary schools.