Where do the SN children go?

[Levismum]

I'm starting a new job in September. I am a LP to 4 dc. 2 of the dc are Autistic. Both attend a special school.

One child receives respite from SS. 6 hours per week. The younger child is still waiting to be assessed in terms of respite.

So I'm organising childcare as I will need childcare in the holidays. We've been through many Nanny's & Aupairs. Literally thrown money at the situation but they all leave as the children are too difficult to manage.

Boys are too old for a CM so all that appears to be left are playschemes. There is a Special Needs one fairly local but it's £425 per boy for 25 hours. I can only book one week.per boys, even if I could afford £950 per week for 6 weeks. Add a toddler onto that as well.

When I asked how other parents manage. I was told nearly all children are funded by Personal Budgets. That the playscheme is respite not childcare.

I was told it's really not an issue as most LP with disabled dc don't work.

Really?
AIBU by wanting to work?
What do other LP of disabled dc do?

[bigbluebus]

I had to give up work when DD started school full time as there was no way I could find anyone qualified to look after her after school and in the holidays. She has physical and learning disabilities and needed to be at home where all her equipment was. Before she started school FT, I employed a nanny but this wasn't practical for just the start and end of school day and the holidays.

The only holiday club runs from 9.30 - 3.30 and is 16 miles away with no transport provided. It is also in the opposite direction to where I worked. It is run by the LA and is £15 per day but you can only have 2 days a week so not much use for working parents.

There are now specialist childminders around here who will take children up to 14 (i think) and the LA hold a register of who they are.

15 years after I gave up work, I am still a carer/SAHM as even though my DD is in adult services now, she doesn't leave the house until 9.30 and is back by 4.30 and as we live in a rural area, it doesn't give me much time to get to a job - if I could get and keep one, with all the appointments/meetings/illness which would require me to take time off work.

I wish you luck OP but unless you can get the LA to fund care, you will end up making a loss on working and the benefit gained by getting out and meeting people will be negated by the stress of the whole childcare situation. The only single parents of disabled children that I know who work, all work as school lunchtime supervisors or part time TA's in Primary schools.

[FunHouseGrandPrix]

I have 2 DC with SN and had to give up work. DS goes to special school and there is no option for childcare in the school holidays where I live. I feel so isolated as when both DC are off school we have to stay in the house all day as I cannot cope with taking them both out on my own.

[Branleuse]

i have 3 kids, 2 with SEN, one in a SEN school, and the other mainstream but fully statemented, and I cant work. I cant think of any way of being able to work and not be financially, physically and emotionally up shit creek and everyone suffering.
I want to be able to work. If I had better support I might be able to manage something part time, in term time, but I dont see many of those jobs around, and there would be a lot of days/weeks I wouldnt be able to go in at all.

This is why you are not obliged to work as the carer of disabled children. whether you want to or not, is a different issue. Having children makes it harder to work. Having disabled children makes it even harder. Being a LP with all those issues, I think youre fantasising tbh

[Ineedmorepatience]

I havent been able to work many hours since I had Dd3 she has Asd and separation issues! I have never used a childminder [she threw the towel in after one complete day of screaming] or out of school care.

It has effected my career prospects, in fact I havent moved forward in terms of career for 12 yrs!

There is a huge gap in child care for children with special needs!

[tibni]

I now work full time and I can't pretend it's easy. I use direct payments and employ a SEN TA (different school than ds attends) and have hours at complex needs respite centre as part of care package. Huge juggle and I'm not a lone parent.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

My sympathies OP. LP here, with 2 dcs with SNs. I don't work because I can't. Ds1 goes to SS, and ds2 is HE as he couldn't cope with MS. (still fighting to get an EHCP for him with a view to getting him into the SS) I used to work full time in a good paying job - but it was shift work including weekends, nights, holidays. Literally no family that can help out in any way. We're just inside the border of distance so ds1 doesn't even get paid transport to school, but thankfully I have a car so don't have to push him to school in his wheelchair daily, dragging ds2 along (as he struggles with a walk that far).

Both are in the midst of huge amounts of appointments due to medication changes, attempts at diagnostic tests, and check ups/assessments for other medical/developmental problems. Throw in my own ongoing illness that I'm on high doses of medication for the 3rd time in four months.

As much as I'd love to have a job as I am so incredibly isolated, I don't see it happening any time soon. I look back at when dd was young, and I was working 3 jobs to make ends meet (and to stay off benefits). But she is NT, and this situation is just so different. Due to their specific issues and SNs, the childcare situation must be absolutely specific for them to be safe - and there just isn't anything remotely suitable in the area - and if there was, I probably couldn't afford it. It's demoralising.

[Frizzcat]

I've been out for four years and dont have the solution either I'm afraid. I'm desperate to go back, I feel trapped.
Hope you find a solution op, watching with interes.
Congrats on the job

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

If your area has a short breaks scheme you can get something like 90 hours towards playscheme or barnardos SN groups respite.

Many childminders will also take older disabled children and will do up until their 17th birthday.

You can also (if you play the long game) get a well equipped friend who has an interest fund their registration ect and then employ them.

I use a combination of carers,child minders and nannies and it works for me.

[cansu]

There is definitely an expectation that you don't work which is bloody annoying. I work full time and have lost count of professionals being surprised that I work and that I am not constantly available for them to drop round and drink tea in my living room. It is v difficult. I have had to get a care agency to look after ds 1 after school. It is v expensive and it still leaves me scrabbling round on pd days and in hols.

[Levismum]

Thanks for so many replies.

I contacted 4 CM they all only care for primary school children.
Maybe it was just those ones. Will definitely look into that again.

The school discourage TAs working with the pupils outside of school case it's caused issues in the past.

I will keep looking as I really need to do something. Maybe it will be a mix of different care. The amount I earn isn't really that relevant.

I had a good legal career before my dc were born. But had to resign due to dc needs. Then ex dp left. The job is a TA job so financially no where near what i was earning but at least i will get to meet people.

It's incredibly isolating having dc with SNs. I go to Carer groups etc but of course all we talk about are our dc. The good thing is both boys will be in school for the first time ever as of September, even though they are 7&12. But i realised i won't see anyone as they will both be travelling to/from school on a bus. So it will just be the baby & I from 8-4, Monday - Friday!

[Tanith]

I'm caring for 2 children with SN these holidays; one has speech & language difficulties + global delay and the other is autistic. I work as a childminder with DH.

I know 3 other childminders locally who also care for children with SN, one of whom also offers respite care.

No upper age limit.

[NoUseForAName]

Have you asked the TAs at school? A lot of the ones at our special needs school do sessional after school most days

[ReputableBiscuit]

I can't work either.

[fairgame]

There is no childcare that my DS (ASD) can access locally. I work part time term time to fit in with his school hours. If i didn't have this job then i wouldn't work. Respite is now allowed to be used to support parents to work where i live.

[MrsBobDylan]

I sympathise.I have 2 disabled dc and although I work 20 p.w, I cover all school holidays using dh and my annual leave and some unpaid leave. Means we get to spend very few days together but my employer is nice and I know I need to hang on to this job as I doubt anyone else would employ me due to the flexibility I need.

Hope you find a solution.

[solidspokes]

My DD is severely affected by her ASD and I can't work even though she is 17 and at a residential school.She is at home all through the holidays and every weekend and can't be left alone and there's no suitable childcare or respite. I get Carers Allowance and Income Support and we manage on that. I don't really ever expect to work, she will always need a Carer no matter how old she gets. I quite enjoy the break I get from her during school time and I've used the time to develop interests and do some part time. study.

[SoleBizzzz]

Child care is so expensive.

[bloodyteenagers]

windchime And where would the cash come from for the staff, building running costs, equipment etc?
How many weeks should schools be closed? Week for Christmas and a week for Easter? Then what about bank holidays? Annual leave for staff? Where would cash come from for temp cover?

While we are at it. Why not just
Extend the school hours. 8-6,
7 days a week?

[Marmiteandjamislush]

Hi OP,

Is there anyway any one from school would want holiday work? My DN has CP and is non verbal, and when he was little my DSis used to have students from the school coming in in the holidays to supplement their training placement. It was great because Dsis knew them and he loved them.

[Marmiteandjamislush]

Hi OP,

Is there anyway any one from school would want holiday work? My DN has CP and is non verbal, and when he was little my DSis used to have students from the school coming in in the holidays to supplement their training placement. It was great because Dsis knew them and he loved them.

[SoleBizzzz]

My severely disabled (blind, severely Autistic, no speech, uses pads etc) DS is 17 in October. Nowhere for him to go after school, so I cannot work. It is so frustrating and this experience of being unable to find work that fits in with his school hours has stunted my growth a person and my intellect/social life.

Ahh well who cares eh? I'm a Carer not a human being ...

[Scarydinosaurs]

^^ sorry- my first reply should be in the past tense: they were LSAs and they provided

[Scarydinosaurs]

windchime what a ridiculous link to make- children should not be in a school environment for 52 weeks a year. They would be exhausted. Parents working hours shouldn't override what is best for them academically and emotionally.

[EllenJanethickerknickers]

I was a SAHM for 8 years, then a TA for 6 years, now a school science technician, term time only. My DS2 goes to a mainstream school, though, so the school holidays mainly coincide. I can call on exH as well in a dire emergency, though I would rather eat my own arm than ask him for help!

[Scarydinosaurs]

My siblings provide holiday childcare for children with severe and complex SN for parents that work full time. They are LSAs at a SN school. Could you try asking the school? They didn't charge as much as a nanny, and it was good experience for them as they have both gone onto more senior childcare positions and could use the experience on their CVs.