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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Where do the SN children go?

56 replies

Levismum · 22/07/2015 11:20

I'm starting a new job in September. I am a LP to 4 dc. 2 of the dc are Autistic. Both attend a special school.

One child receives respite from SS. 6 hours per week. The younger child is still waiting to be assessed in terms of respite.

So I'm organising childcare as I will need childcare in the holidays. We've been through many Nanny's & Aupairs. Literally thrown money at the situation but they all leave as the children are too difficult to manage.

Boys are too old for a CM so all that appears to be left are playschemes. There is a Special Needs one fairly local but it's £425 per boy for 25 hours. I can only book one week.per boys, even if I could afford £950 per week for 6 weeks. Add a toddler onto that as well.

When I asked how other parents manage. I was told nearly all children are funded by Personal Budgets. That the playscheme is respite not childcare.

I was told it's really not an issue as most LP with disabled dc don't work.

Really?
AIBU by wanting to work?
What do other LP of disabled dc do?

OP posts:
RachelRagged · 22/07/2015 12:25

I don't know the answer OP but I am staggered at the cost . My 2 DCs younger pair went to a playscheme once (not got SN as far as I am aware) at their primary school .That was £200 for both of them for a week and was some years ago

Lurkedforever1 · 22/07/2015 13:05

I'm not claiming I'm well informed on the subject but are you sure no childminder is able to do it? One of dds friends has adhd and developmental delays ( neither remotely mild either) and age 13 still goes to a local childminder, although I suspect they possibly pay more than normal rates I assume it's cheaper than specialist provision. Also know someone else who found a childminder whose own child had autism and years later was still happy to provide care for their secondary age child and I don't mean a child who was just vaguely on the spectrum. Plus at least one other who I regularly see with toddlers that have sn of varying degrees. So perhaps it might be worth ringing round cms just incase, although sorry if I'm very misinformed on what is the usual scenario with sn and cm and therefore chatting rubbish.
Yanbu to expect the same rights as anyone else though

Dragzena · 22/07/2015 14:48

When we had a carer's assessment they said the only way caring for ds was feasible was if I gave up work. The social worker said they wouldn't consider him for any type of respite if it was more per hour than I earned. There are no special needs childminders in my area so that wasn't an option.

His attendance at school is so poor I couldn't work school hours unless I could find something allowing me days off every week for appointments and when he's ill.

EmeraldKitten · 22/07/2015 14:51

I've not read the whole thread but the one thing that jumps out at me - why are they too old for a CM?

CM's don't have an upper age.

windchime · 22/07/2015 14:56

so many people with disabled children don't work at all purely because it's so hard to find carers in the holidays

Another reason to cut the ridiculous 13 weeks of annual leave teachers get each year.

lougle · 22/07/2015 15:10

It's a real struggle and I haven't got the answer yet Sad

Scarydinosaurs · 22/07/2015 15:21

My siblings provide holiday childcare for children with severe and complex SN for parents that work full time. They are LSAs at a SN school. Could you try asking the school? They didn't charge as much as a nanny, and it was good experience for them as they have both gone onto more senior childcare positions and could use the experience on their CVs.

EllenJanethickerknickers · 22/07/2015 15:23

I was a SAHM for 8 years, then a TA for 6 years, now a school science technician, term time only. My DS2 goes to a mainstream school, though, so the school holidays mainly coincide. I can call on exH as well in a dire emergency, though I would rather eat my own arm than ask him for help!

Scarydinosaurs · 22/07/2015 15:24

windchime what a ridiculous link to make- children should not be in a school environment for 52 weeks a year. They would be exhausted. Parents working hours shouldn't override what is best for them academically and emotionally.

Scarydinosaurs · 22/07/2015 15:25

^^ sorry- my first reply should be in the past tense: they were LSAs and they provided

SoleBizzzz · 22/07/2015 15:26

My severely disabled (blind, severely Autistic, no speech, uses pads etc) DS is 17 in October. Nowhere for him to go after school, so I cannot work. It is so frustrating and this experience of being unable to find work that fits in with his school hours has stunted my growth a person and my intellect/social life.

Ahh well who cares eh? I'm a Carer not a human being ...

Marmiteandjamislush · 22/07/2015 15:27

Hi OP,

Is there anyway any one from school would want holiday work? My DN has CP and is non verbal, and when he was little my DSis used to have students from the school coming in in the holidays to supplement their training placement. It was great because Dsis knew them and he loved them.

Marmiteandjamislush · 22/07/2015 15:27

Hi OP,

Is there anyway any one from school would want holiday work? My DN has CP and is non verbal, and when he was little my DSis used to have students from the school coming in in the holidays to supplement their training placement. It was great because Dsis knew them and he loved them.

bloodyteenagers · 22/07/2015 15:31

windchime And where would the cash come from for the staff, building running costs, equipment etc?
How many weeks should schools be closed? Week for Christmas and a week for Easter? Then what about bank holidays? Annual leave for staff? Where would cash come from for temp cover?

While we are at it. Why not just
Extend the school hours. 8-6,
7 days a week?

SoleBizzzz · 22/07/2015 15:45

Child care is so expensive.

solidspokes · 22/07/2015 15:46

My DD is severely affected by her ASD and I can't work even though she is 17 and at a residential school.She is at home all through the holidays and every weekend and can't be left alone and there's no suitable childcare or respite. I get Carers Allowance and Income Support and we manage on that. I don't really ever expect to work, she will always need a Carer no matter how old she gets. I quite enjoy the break I get from her during school time and I've used the time to develop interests and do some part time. study.

MrsBobDylan · 22/07/2015 15:48

I sympathise.I have 2 disabled dc and although I work 20 p.w, I cover all school holidays using dh and my annual leave and some unpaid leave. Means we get to spend very few days together but my employer is nice and I know I need to hang on to this job as I doubt anyone else would employ me due to the flexibility I need.

Hope you find a solution.Flowers

fairgame · 22/07/2015 15:50

There is no childcare that my DS (ASD) can access locally. I work part time term time to fit in with his school hours. If i didn't have this job then i wouldn't work. Respite is now allowed to be used to support parents to work where i live.

ReputableBiscuit · 22/07/2015 16:24

I can't work either.

NoUseForAName · 22/07/2015 16:31

Have you asked the TAs at school? A lot of the ones at our special needs school do sessional after school most days

Tanith · 22/07/2015 16:43

I'm caring for 2 children with SN these holidays; one has speech & language difficulties + global delay and the other is autistic. I work as a childminder with DH.

I know 3 other childminders locally who also care for children with SN, one of whom also offers respite care.

No upper age limit.

Original poster
Levismum · 22/07/2015 17:09

Thanks for so many replies.

I contacted 4 CM they all only care for primary school children.
Maybe it was just those ones. Will definitely look into that again.

The school discourage TAs working with the pupils outside of school case it's caused issues in the past.

I will keep looking as I really need to do something. Maybe it will be a mix of different care. The amount I earn isn't really that relevant.

I had a good legal career before my dc were born. But had to resign due to dc needs. Then ex dp left. The job is a TA job so financially no where near what i was earning but at least i will get to meet people.

It's incredibly isolating having dc with SNs. I go to Carer groups etc but of course all we talk about are our dc. The good thing is both boys will be in school for the first time ever as of September, even though they are 7&12. But i realised i won't see anyone as they will both be travelling to/from school on a bus. So it will just be the baby & I from 8-4, Monday - Friday!

OP posts:
cansu · 22/07/2015 17:41

There is definitely an expectation that you don't work which is bloody annoying. I work full time and have lost count of professionals being surprised that I work and that I am not constantly available for them to drop round and drink tea in my living room. It is v difficult. I have had to get a care agency to look after ds 1 after school. It is v expensive and it still leaves me scrabbling round on pd days and in hols.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 22/07/2015 17:48

If your area has a short breaks scheme you can get something like 90 hours towards playscheme or barnardos SN groups respite.

Many childminders will also take older disabled children and will do up until their 17th birthday.

You can also (if you play the long game) get a well equipped friend who has an interest fund their registration ect and then employ them.

I use a combination of carers,child minders and nannies and it works for me.

Frizzcat · 22/07/2015 17:59

I've been out for four years and dont have the solution either I'm afraid. I'm desperate to go back, I feel trapped.
Hope you find a solution op, watching with interes.
Congrats on the jobFlowers

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