In thinking that there is something just not right about this?

[WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat]

www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/watch-little-girl-cancer-get-6106856?sm_au=iVVZ1HVHj10sNQrG

Now I'm not saying that there is any nasty intent towards the little girl. No grooming. I'm not criticising the nurse involved or questioning his intentions.

But - I think the message that this is sending is wrong. Little girls don't get married, and certainly not to adult males in positions of power/authority. Is it just me? I just really don't like it.

I understand that she is very very ill and generally I would say that if she asked for the moon on a plate she should be granted it, but to 'get married' to her favourite nurse? Nope, sorry, it just isn't right.

Does anyone agree or am I over thinking this?

Yes(!) leaning, that is the main reason I think. That it's being made to seem 'ok' for a child and a adult to marry. It's sending out a wrong message. (And not just to the little girl in question).

To whom is the "wrong message" being sent? Other 4 yo girls? Are they big watchers of news programmes?

I'm uncomfortable with it, as well, but no clear idea why..

Children don't live in a vacuum - it's not inconceivable that other children could see the article/video.

Do you have any idea ToysRLuv?

I get that and I also understand you're talking about feeling uneasy and not that's it's downright out of order and disgusting or that you want to be a horrible old monster and ruin a sick little girls happiness!

I do think however you're overthinking it somewhat. That little girl has no idea of the real concept of marriage. Even if she continues to believe she's married to her favourite guy, that's okay in my mind. She's not thinking of anything truly adult just a fairytale that came true for her and bless her, doesn't she deserve it. A strong and brave little warrior who gets to have something special.

Sometimes we overthink things and label them inappropriate because of our adult knowledge of a very disturbing world. Like a grandad with his little granddaughter sitting on his lap. I've read threads here before and seen elsewhere, how some people feel quite uncomfortable with that but to grandad and little girl it's an expression of acceptance, trust, love and all the other good stuff.

It's not the act that is unsettling but our fears and knowledge of 'bad things'. It makes the simple, loving, cute and heartwarming things something to be worried about and feel uneasy about.

I'm raising a teen girl and let me tell you, it's not easy trying to prevent my fears of a world gone mad encroaching (sp?) on her fresh and beautiful young mind. I want her to be aware but not afraid. Bad things happen but not always and the chances are low.

It's really late for me and I'm exhausted. I've no idea if what I'm thinking is making sense in text so I'll say no more.

I get that and I also understand you're talking about feeling uneasy and not that's it's downright out of order and disgusting or that you want to be a horrible old monster and ruin a sick little girls happiness! hmmsmile Thank you.

And your post does make sense, definitely.

Do 4 year olds really think much more of a wedding other than a chance to wear a pretty dress and be special.

Most 4 year old main experiences of weddings are probably Disney movies where the film finishes with them getting married and living happily ever after. I doubt they give any further thought to it

Is it really any different to dressing up as anything else. That's basically all she's done - played at weddings. If they'd said vows etc yeah maybe a bit but they didn't. I can't see how it's any different to any other dressing up and pretending. Other sick children get the opportunity to dress up and meet adults pretending to be Disney Princesses. Imo this is just the same. A little bit of make believe for her.

I think the nurse is lovely for going along with it.

Wherethefuckis So what if other kids do see it. They're hardly going to rush out and get married

Surely all any sensible parent has to do if a child asked is to explain they're just pretending and playing at weddings

I think even four year olds have a concept of weddings being about romance.

And I think it's the romance between child and adult that is riling me.

But do they really understand what romance is.

I just can't see this as anything other than a lovely gesture which has made a little girl happy.

if a 4 year old is told yes she was playing weddings with the nurse because she's poorly and in hospital I doubt they'd give it a further thought

Personally I think you're way over thinking it. I don't think it's sending out any wrong or inappropriate messages but that's my opinion and we can of course agree to disagree

Of course, Redglitter, as unheard of as it is on aibu!

Oh however YABVVVVVVU posting a link from the Daily Record

There that's balanced things off

Oh however YABVVVVVVU posting a link from the Daily Record

There that's balanced things off

Yup, definitely balanced it out even if I actually agree with you there too

There are some joyless fuckers on this thread. If your four year old was dying and in pain surely you would bring her the moon on a stick if she asked for it? Some things just don't need to be analysed to death

This with bells on!

Look, I've already said that I'm not here to rain on the little girl's parade, and that I think that generally, a child in those circumstances should have pretty much whatever they want. I'm not a monster, or PO.

It doesn't change the fact that I felt uneasy about this particular situation, and I may be in the minority, but I'm clearly not the only one who does. I think I feel, that regardless the surrounding or extenuating circumstances, no child should ever be led to believe that romance with, or 'marrying' an adult is acceptable, and no matter what anyone says about the fact that it wasn't an actual wedding, (because I'm a bit thick, and thought that it was ), the little girl was told that it was, and that she could marry nurse X because she wanted to propose to him, so to all intents and purposes, she would have believed she was marrying him and that was ok.

I should probably duck now, but I can't help how I feel, and I haven't said anything offensive even if I am apparently a 'joyless fucker'

It's not real and you are over thinking it.

Sorry OP. Bu the look on her face caps any feelings of unease you may have.

She is terminally ill.
No one dressed her up a la JonBenet Ramsey
She looks like a very ill little girl
He looks like a member of staff
She looked overjoyed

I can see why it makes you feel uneasy and I agree, putting the video 'out there' seems misjudged. But in this specific instance I think she could have married her daddy and it would have been absolutely fine.

I can't see it as anything other than a very elaborate make-believe for a very ill child. I think a marriage has to have certain words in a certain order to be legal - apart from the fact that the girl is too young to be marrying anyone for real.

I understand your disquiet in the light of so many scandals - it's sad, but not surprising that people's minds jump to something that, 10 years ago, probably would never have occurred to them.

I've cared for a terminally ill child and her parents would have given her anything during her last illness. It's a heartbreaking situation and all you can think of is the child's happiness. Nothing else matters.

Not quite the same thing, but many years ago, I was asked to do the flower arrangement at my church for a wedding. The groom was dying - there was concern that he might not even live for the wedding.
I spent far more than the budget I was given filling the church with arrangements, I was so determined that this wedding would be as perfect as I could make it in my own small way, and so did everyone else involved. He died a few days afterwards but the family were so glad he'd had that lovely day and said how happy he'd been.

I think those involved in this wedding did exactly the same - they did everything they could to fulfil a very sick little girl's wish.

she (believed she) was marrying her actual real life favourite nurse And? Is a sick little girl believing that her & her favourite nurse are married, such a bad thing? Being able to have a little fun & happiness in her life...do you really begrudge her that!?

I agree with you and its all a bit weird. BUT thats a lot less important than a dying childs feelings, so whatever makes her happy.

I'm genuinely confused about my feelings on this. Initially I think I was a little uncomfortable for the reason LeaningTower states. Then I thought "but why? She's dying and unlikely to live with that thought long enough for it to cause a problem. An then I was reminded that my 4yo ds has said on a few occasions that he wants to marry me and it's so cute I could burst. He also thinks he's Spiderman. Providing he doesn't start trying to throw himself off buildings who am I to shatter his illusions?

I don't think a four yo has any concept of the sexual love that as an adult leads us to want to marry someone. To a four yo you marry someone cos you love them, and you love mum and dad and grandma and grandpa and auntie Jane and miss smith your reception teacher, so you would happily marry any of them. To them "marry" means love someone enough that you would live with them forever.

My brother at around that aged decided he was going to marry DM, she had to explain that as she was married to DF she couldn't get married again. He then decided he wanted to marry his reception teacher at the time.

If it's what she wanted then fine. No one has been hurt or damaged by this. If my child saw the video and wanted to marry an adult we know I'd explain that she/he would have to wait until they were older.

YABU and definitely overthinking this!!

OP - if you think there's something just not right about an innocuous wish granting, then i suggest you never take a good look at what's really going on in our world:

www.goodreads.com/topic/show/2207736-satanic-elite-child-hunting-parties