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Original poster

Oh god! Little girl on holiday

130 replies

Cuppacoffeeinthebigtime · 20/07/2015 00:53

We got here yesterday. So did they. We are both here for 2 weeks. She has attached herself to us so far. She is 9, our dd 7 and DS 4. We got our paddling pool out and she came over watching so we asked if she wanted to join in. She went and asked her mum and she has pretty much been here constantly ever since.We have to ask her to leave 3 times before we can eat. Then she watches from outside until we finish and then she is back. She was here as soon as we opened the curtains in the morning. Her parents have not taken her anywhere once so far. Yesterday, we were going to the park and she stood around looking sad so asked her if she wanted to come with us. She did but then moaned that it was boring and asked if we could do the activities instead ( this costs about 10 pounds per head and I can only really afford to pay for my own dcs so none of us did anything). The parents seem very kind,came over and gave my kids a pound each to buy an ice cream but grrrrrr, this is not what I was imagining when I booked my holiday.

To make things worse another neighboring family's 3 year old has taken a shine to dd and is left playing outside for a few hours at a time. They have asked dd to tell them if she does anything naughty or runs off while they sunbathe. I am a nervous wreck watching as no way dd can be trusted watching a 3 year old. I have so looked forward to this holiday, saved annual leave up, wanted to enjoy it with my own DC. I want them to make friends and learn to be kind as we are quite isolatory where we live but this seems too much.

OP posts:
pictish · 20/07/2015 11:40

Wrong thread ffs.

Mrsjayy · 20/07/2015 11:41

I think campsites seem so open that children can get a bit overexcited by the freedom and if their parents cba to see what their kids are up to then you just need to be cheerily assertive about it or you get lumbered with extra kids. (Bitter experience)

TheReluctantCountess · 20/07/2015 11:46

Send her back to her parents. Don't worry about offending anyone - you will never see them again.

DurhamDurham · 20/07/2015 11:48

I haven't read the whole thread but it would appear that the biggest problem is that you keep inviting the little girl along. The family might even think that you enjoy having her company as you have invited her on two outings already. Much better to just lay down the ground rules than have her tag along and resent her. It doesn't even matter if the other family get a bit offended, you aren't going to see them again after the holiday.

Just be clear about it and then enjoy your holiday.

MrsDeVere · 20/07/2015 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RobotLover68 · 20/07/2015 13:25

My kids can play with whoever they fancy when we're on site, so long as they're not in our tent or anyone else's

This

last similar kind of holiday we had, (lots of cottages in a holiday site) - I told my kids - you can play with the other kids, you DO NOT go into anyone else's cottage and you do not invite them back to ours - it worked great and had no problems - sorry OP you need to be firmer

Nurserywindow · 20/07/2015 13:52

It sounds like the little girl is lonely and bored, but her parents should be doing something to ensure that she is enjoying her holiday, not assuming that she's welcome to tag along all the time with another family.

I think you're just going to have to be firm and just say 'we're going out now. So we'll see you later when we get back'. If she's hanging around when you're trying to eat say 'you need to go back home to your parents now. DD will call for you later/tomorrow/when she's free to play again'.

It's important that her parents, as well as the little girl herself, get the message that you don't want her hanging around all the time.

eddielizzard · 20/07/2015 13:58

i would jump in the car and go off for the day. what a pain.

reni1 · 20/07/2015 14:24

The only thing I would say to the parents is please don't ask my dd to watch your 3yo, it is inappropriate. Make clear to your dd she is not her responsibility. Otherwise just send the kids off when you eat/ go out/ want to be alone.

scubagoose · 20/07/2015 15:06

I had a good friend who came on holiday to a villa near ours then came to spend the day with us at our pool.. lovely until she thought it was ok to ask our dd then aged 8 to watch her 18 month old near the pool so she could sunbathe.. I made a big point of saying that was ok as long as the mum was there but that in no way was she to be left by the pool on her own supervising.. an 8 year old no matter how mature is not mature enough to babysit toddlers.. my friend always uses my dd as her free creche and it drives me insane.. ok for a while but my dd doesnt need that responsibiliy when she is relaxing on holiday too

Peacheykeen · 20/07/2015 15:49

Just say you're off for some family time and that they can play with Your children later. You are under no obligation to take other people's children anywhere. Enjoy the rest of your holiday

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 20/07/2015 15:58

Did you send them home Cuppa?

Fairyliz · 20/07/2015 16:29

Think you are getting a hard time op. My kids are grown up but when they were youngthis use to happen every year. We would be playing with our kids in the pool or making sandcastles on the beach and another kid would come and join in. Tbh I think they just wanted adult attention because parents were sunbathing/drinking.
Its actually quite hard to say go away, after all I didn't own the pool/beach and trying to ignore a child talking to you seems very rude to me. These children also tend to be very thick skinned as they are desperate for attention so would ignore the 'mummy is looking for you ' comments. My children were also very kind hearted and would ask if X could play as her mummy and daddy weren't playing with her!

I think in the end we would just go and hide somewhere!

CruCru · 20/07/2015 16:32

I think you're getting a bit of a hard time too. My kids are still really young but I can totally imagine this happening to me.

LadyPlumpington · 20/07/2015 17:07

I make friends with kids all the time so this will totally happen to us at some point Blush I agree that you've got to establish some boundaries op or it'll drive you nuts.

How much longer are you there for?

CruCru · 20/07/2015 18:03

To be honest, you're not the only one. I'm sure there are a few threads like this every summer. Wasn't there a marvellous one (not for the poster) where the OP was being "manoeuvred" into having someone's kid after school every day for the next seven years?

Vickisuli · 20/07/2015 20:50

OP I do feel for you as I have had similar situation where you want to encourage your kids to be friendly but don't want another kid around the whole time. We have a similar problem at home, that two girls in our street basically hang around in the street all day long and constantly knock to see if DD wants to play too. Sometimes she does, but often she's busy doing something else and doesn't want to. It doesn't help that although they come and ask her to play they are actually quite bitchy sometimes and get her out to play just so they can prove what super-best friends they are and how she isn't one of their gang really. Then sometimes they want to come in and play (ie make a mess in our house then scarper) Again, I like to encourage DD to play and be friendly but sometimes its a bit much. With holiday acquaintances you have much less to lose so it really is a case of politely telling them to go back to their parents.

Totally, as others have said we also get electric hookup and take loads of stuff including an electric kettle, lamp and phone chargers with us when we camp. Also you need to get a better tent if yours floods. We have Quechua pop up tents and survived more than one massive downpour in them totally dry inside while everybody huddled round the tablet watching a movie.

Bedsheets4knickers · 20/07/2015 21:20

This is my son on the beach the other wk. if he spied a dad with his son playing bat and ball. He was over like a shot asking to Join in. We had every beach toy under the sun. Tbh we called him back . It's the parents who should be dealing with this not you . Tomorrow just say you've got plans . Might see them later x

Aked · 20/07/2015 21:49

I thought tents were waterproof nowadays.

not camped since the eighties

CallieG · 21/07/2015 04:50

Oh Hunni, you are infected with the toxicley nice bug, these people are freeloaders, they are using you as a free babysitter, You did not pay for a holiday to be used by other people to look after their stray kids, you Have to tell that little girl to go home, Your kids are missing out on their Holiday activities because some freeloader is foisting their child off on you, You are not a bad person if you say NO to being used and inconvenienced, the child's parents have a thick hide, so what if one of them forked out a whole 2 pounds for ice cream, how much has it cost you to feed their kids? That was not kindness it was guilt and a rude smack in the face for you, imagine the amount of money you are saving them in day care so they can enjoy their holidays at your expense. I wouldn't pull any punches, tell those other kids to get lost unless you actually invited them over and tell their god awful parents to fuck off.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 21/07/2015 05:05

This situation would drive me nuts.

But you could try fighting fire with fire - send your DD off to the 9yo's place, and call over breezily that you're just off out for a few hours while and you're sure they won't mind watching your DD as you've had theirs over so much already.
Then take your 4yo to the adoring 3yo's parents and say the same, reminding them that a 4yo is in no way able to keep an eye on the 3yo.

Then swan off for a bit. Grin

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 21/07/2015 08:21

These responsesare so weird.

They also explain why my kids always makes loads of German friends on holiday but no British ones as their parents always have them on a short leash and some kind of odd parent enforced timetable.

Kidson these holidaysplay together - that's not free childcare, the kids want to play with other kids not with the op.

If I' kicking a ball with my 7 yo on hholiday I rejoice if a few other kids come and ask to join in as then I can bow out and my 7 yo has playmates - much more fun than playing with me.

In fact my kids swap languages to match those of any likely looking kids hanging about near by in the hope of being joined and making friends.

Of course the OP's 7 yo should go to the 9 yo 's tent or caravan (not in it - kids shouldn't be in other ppeople's tents/ caravans) - the 9 yo will be delighted and her parents probably too.

Obviously people expect you to send their kkids away when you don'twant them - if you don't send them away they assume you are glad of the company for your dd to keep her entertained!

  1. Don't take anyone else's child off the camp site or anywhere on site (like the pool) which they wouldn'tbe allowed to go without an adult.

  2. Don't feed other people's kids (aside from the odd tiny snack or glass of water if your kidsare having one - send them home for meals or to get snacks)

  3. Don't leave the site and expect your kid "babysat" in return. If the parents are home and their kid is at your caravan you are not doing childcare - your kids are just playing together, you have taken on no rresponsibility.

  4. SAY if you want theother child to leave and they will.

This all sounds like people massively misunderstanding what'sgoing on - op may think she's doing childcare but she isn't, it is utterly simple to send the 9 yo home any time and the 9 yo will know her parents are there when she needs them.

The OP is not being put upon by anyone but herself - tell the kids to go home if you don'twant them playing with yours, otherwise everyone assumes you are as happy as they are that your child has found a playmate!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 21/07/2015 08:37

Did you read this bit properly?
"We have to ask her to leave 3 times before we can eat. Then she watches from outside until we finish and then she is back"

Doesn't really fit with your simplistic rules; rules like that only work if everyone follows them.

BrendaBlackhead · 21/07/2015 08:47

It's all about how comfortable we are with other people and how good we are at making friends. I would find OP's scenario a bit of a nightmare and the child in question clearly has the skin of a rhinoceros. I just don't get a lot of children: barging around, pushing in, hogging swings etc. We are the sort of people who, if we encounter other children somewhere, whizz off at top speed.

Also I would feel awful telling a child to "Go home." Just because the child is rude, doesn't mean you have to be equally as rude. I think I would just keep saying, "Your mummy and daddy must be wanting you back again now." And I'd probably spend two weeks hiding in my tent/caravan lying on the floor waiting for child to go away.

sanfairyanne · 21/07/2015 08:58

child just needs it explaining clearly - we are going to have lunch and a bit of quiet time so you need to go home. come back at 4/after tea/tomorrow