Oh god! Little girl on holiday

[Cuppacoffeeinthebigtime]

We got here yesterday. So did they. We are both here for 2 weeks. She has attached herself to us so far. She is 9, our dd 7 and DS 4. We got our paddling pool out and she came over watching so we asked if she wanted to join in. She went and asked her mum and she has pretty much been here constantly ever since.We have to ask her to leave 3 times before we can eat. Then she watches from outside until we finish and then she is back. She was here as soon as we opened the curtains in the morning. Her parents have not taken her anywhere once so far. Yesterday, we were going to the park and she stood around looking sad so asked her if she wanted to come with us. She did but then moaned that it was boring and asked if we could do the activities instead ( this costs about 10 pounds per head and I can only really afford to pay for my own dcs so none of us did anything). The parents seem very kind,came over and gave my kids a pound each to buy an ice cream but grrrrrr, this is not what I was imagining when I booked my holiday.

To make things worse another neighboring family's 3 year old has taken a shine to dd and is left playing outside for a few hours at a time. They have asked dd to tell them if she does anything naughty or runs off while they sunbathe. I am a nervous wreck watching as no way dd can be trusted watching a 3 year old. I have so looked forward to this holiday, saved annual leave up, wanted to enjoy it with my own DC. I want them to make friends and learn to be kind as we are quite isolatory where we live but this seems too much.

[midnightvelvetPart2]

You are too nice OP :)

Agree with everyone else, stop inviting her to places or she might consider herself automatically invited soon! Just wave & say that you will be back later.

Re your dd, as I hate confrontation too so I'd go over & say something that doesn't judge their parenting:

' I think my dd has got hold of the wrong end of the stick, she thinks that you have asked her to look after your little girl but obviously that can't be right so I've told her that she's not allowed to'. :)

[SophiePendragon]

It's very difficult to be faced with a sudden onslaught of this kind for the first time - the OP needs a moment to adjust her boundaries and get confident, that's all.

OP - you have as others have said to just ignore the other children as far as possible, don't invite them with you, you don't know them - don't let them in to your caravan, tell them to go home when you have had enough.

Most children respond well to being told something straight in a friendly way (but you have to be firm and say 'no' if they argue)

They will learn how to behave by how you expect them to, and tell them to.

That's Ok. I can even do it with teenage boys now They just do what you say most of the time! So use it to teach them what sensible boundaries are. You have a right to enjoy this holiday without having to pander to other parents' weirdness and laziness. The little girl sounds like she didn't like the playground anyway so that's cool.

[RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime]

What an appropriate user name you have, totallybewildered.

Other people's children latching on is very annoying. It's hard but you have to deliver them back to the parents saying "here's your child back, we're busy now so not a good time for her to come and play".

[bigTillyMint]

OP, you are being very kind letting that little girl come and play with yours - she must either be very bored or lonely or unhappy to want to spend so much time with a family she has never met before.

However, don't feel that you have to do any more than you want to - be assertive with her and send her off when you have other things to do. Nothing wrong with family-only time too.

We had lots of camping holidays when the DC were small, and one of the good things about them was that the children could play with others safely which kept them entertained.

[SewingAndCakes]

OP we have a boy like this at home (so no getting away from him turning up) and it's taken me a while to learn to be firm with him. He turns up every moment he's free, and roams around calling on different friends, who he then antagonises.

I now feel comfortable sending him home, and being direct with him "no, we're eating our tea and then we're having some family time, so you need to go now".

Don't feel bad about sending these children away, it's their parents who should be ensuring that their kids are either entertained or not imposing on other families.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Tell her to go back to her parents, don't feel guilty.

As for totally and her gadget free holiday, good for you, gold star and all that

[oddfodd]

You absolutely need firm boundaries. Paddling pool fine, inside tent/caravan not fine. And don't invite on trips out! As far as the 3 year old goes, send her home.

[NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten]

But as bigTilly says one of the big plus points of this kind of holiday is that the kids play together.

This type of holiday doesn't suit the very private type of person seeking a bubble containing only them and their DC.

If it'sanything like the sites wwe've been to (France, Croatia and most often Italy) all the kids are looking for friends to play with. All the kids over 6 or so are fairly free range on the smaller sites. It isn'tabout lazy parents wanting other people to watch their kids, it'sabout living mostly on your terrace when not off site or at the pool, and watching the kids play together. IIt's laid back and friendly.

Hopefully the 9 yo will find a friend closer to her own age and be out of OP'S frazzled hair today, but tbh I think the OP has chosen the wrong kind of holiday! She says she wanted her dd to make friends though...

Be firm, say go home when you don'twant other kids about, say no if anything doesn't suit but also try to relax and enjoy watching the kids play.

Is your dd enjoying her new friends cuppa? If so I'd roll with it (better the friend at yours than you stressingabout your dd wanting to be at hers) if not send the older girl away - hhopefully she'llthen find a more like mindedicloser in age ffriend!

[Mrsjayy]

Just say we are busy now go get mummy/daddy on repeat if you are going to the park or wherever say we are going now bye on repeat dc will play with you later . Take them back to their parents if you have to the parents will get the message,

[DipsoHippo]

If you've only been there since Saturday, it's not like the little girl has been hanging around for days and days. Maybe her parents have plans to take her places during the week. Are they at the start of their 2 weeks too? If so, it's a bit soon to say they haven't taken her anywhere

[GloGirl]

I went on a caravan holiday which had wifi. Was great!

I agree about telling the girl that you need "family time" and taking her back to her parents, and having a little word. "Your daughter is so cute and she plays so well with our daughters but we're having a hard time getting some free space to spend time as a family and go on trips etc. I'm sure you understand."

And then leg it.

The 3 year old just gets returned immediately with an "I'm sorry you're too little to be away from your Mummy or Daddy" and her parents told the same thing, that you do not want to be responsible for her. Don't let her for an hour or you will also have her all week.

PS, I have a couple of boys under 3, tell me where you are I could do with a free creche

[MorrisZapp]

When we were in Majorca last year there was a two year old boy who was pretty much left to his own devices round the pool. His mum was,lovely and friendly but quite happy to pop her earbuds in, close her eyes and drift off on her sunlounger for hours at a time while the wee guy was watched by strangers. We all took turns entertaining him. We still talk about it now.

[sanfairyanne]

if this is a eurocamp type holiday, this is the entire point of the holiday. kids in and out of each others vans and running feral for 2 weeks. just set out boundaries if you dont like it eg not in van, go to playarea or other girls van.

[NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten]

We only have the one post to go on but I'd not be surprised if the parents of the 3 year old only said that to the OP's 7 yo thinking they were being friendly and she'd like being talked to like a big girl rather than a peer of a 3yo. They won't really be expecting actual childcare - they've spoken to the dd not asked op.

cuppa which country are you holidaying in?

[NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten]

Exactly Sanfairyanne - exactly!

[Aeroflotgirl]

This child is not your responsibility, do as you woukd do, when it's time for activities tell her good bye and tell her to go back to her parents. Keep taking her back to her parents, explain to them that you want to spend your holiday with your family.

[pictish]

Agree with the others...a brisk and cheery "we're busy now so off you pop back to your parents!" on repeat will help. If she's 9 she'll soon understand that you're not going to be her surrogate family for the duration.

As for totallybewildered and her apparent 'shock' that people take gadgets on holiday with them...hahaha. We're campers and wouldn't NOT take them...if we have a downpour they're invaluable!

[FenellaFellorick]

say no.

[IhateMagic]

Trouble is though, the kids will zero in on the parent who is a pushover not strict. So op, who might not be used to the onslaught will be vulnerable to the attack!!

Op, if you can then it's time to be mean. Once the kids have you pegged as a mean mum they won't bother trying to hang out with you. Mean mum is a persona I've been working on recently. Ultimately, you'll never see these people again, who cares if their memories of you are frosty.

[totallybewildered]

.if we have a downpour they're invaluable! if you have a down pour, how do you guarantee they will still dry? We don't have anything in the tent that would be destroyed by water, we have been flooded many times.

[pictish]

Don't be silly.

[RunRunAsFastishAsYouCan]

You asked if she wanted to join you in the paddling pool.
You asked if she wanted to come to the park.
If you didn't want her to, then don't invite her.

[FarFromAnyRoad]

if you have a down pour, how do you guarantee they will still dry?

Same could be said for your bedding. Do you still take that or are you truly hardcore?

[AuntyMag10]

Totallubewildered what conditions are you holidaying on?

[pictish]

It's a case of adult social nuances against that of a child.
OP hopes she'll paddle for a while and enjoy the park, everyone will have fun, and then she'll go away after the appropriate amount of time, like adults do. Kids don't necessarily know what an appropriate amount of time for a visit is. Particularly when it's a free-for-all at the holiday park. You have to spell it out for them.
We just make it a rule that no kids come into our space, and our kids don't go into anyone else's...but they can all have the run of the site together.