Is anyone else on here massively anti-social?

[TheHouseOnBellSt]

AIBU to be this way? DH thinks I need to try harder....I do like people but it tends to be on my terms....I hate people just dropping in so I discourage it but DH thinks this is bad...he LOVES people dropping in and feels that his life isn't as social as it would be if I would allow people to pop in.

Our neighbour popped in this afternoon...while I was trying to sew some curtains on the machine. She had her toddler with her and ok...my DC played with the toddler but neighbour wanted to chat to me while I sewed.

She stayed for about an hour...when she'd gone I said to DH something like "I could have done without that." and he was very negative about my attitude...thing is, he doesn't know what it costs me to be friendly and cheerful....it costs me a lot...I have to be really concentrated in order to remain friendly and chatty etc...am i alone?

I don't think I'm an introvert as such, but I do tend to keep to myself as I have trust issues.

But I HATE IT when people come to my house unannounced, I think it's really rude.

Nothing wrong with not wanting visitors. But I do think it is U to welcome visitors then bitch about them after they leave. So I'd have been annoyed by the OP's attitude. Just say it's not a good time.

I really hate unannounced visits.People know know to ring first.I will meet u somewhere for coffee or a drink,just don't come to the house.

Also hate big crowds, like smaller groups. I just like my space.

I'm an introvert too, and was on the introverts thread a few years ago. I can - and do - socialise but it's hard work and tires me out, so after an hour or so I often make my excuses and leave. As I've got older I'm more confident in saying no to things I don't want to do, which has helped. I absolutely detest people turning up unannounced - it's bad enough if I've invited them around and they overstay their welcome, but to just turn up without prior notice?! No, just no.

I love my own company and think it's weird that some people don't seem to like their own company at all, and can't do anything alone e.g. shopping, cinema etc. DS is an introvert too but like me he can, and does, socialise, but he loves being at home in his own space.

I'm currently looking into changing my career and ideally want to become self employed. Top of the list of requirement is 'bulk of work time can be spent alone' . Any suggestions of ideal jobs/careers for introverts would be gratefully received.

SoftKitty I have, to my shame, written a couple of trashy historical romance novels . It can be pretty well paid, and they still bring in a nice sum each month. That was very solitary work. I am considering writing more soon, the publishing hosause have asked me if I would. Oh the shame. From scientist to penny dreadful writer, with rancher throws into the mix. My own life is starting to sound like on of my novels!

Sorry OP.

I was once encouraged by a friend not to call before going round, just turn up - something I hate people doing to me. I was so uncomfortable with it but did it, only to find it wasn't convenient and picking up a really off vibe. Not doing that again and have been more comfortable stating own boundaries ever since.

I hate it when I encounter people I work with on my commute. Once I got stuck in an hour long traffic jam sitting next to a (cool and scary) college acquaintance. Shudder.

Stars, dare I ask "how trashy"? I used to like Sidney Sheldon type books but I think they've gone out of fashion.

achieve trashier than that I'm afraid, along the lines of Mills and Boon, but not quite . By the way, I call them trashy without meaning any judgement I was am a fan of Mills and Boon style novels, it is a reference DH and I make to what our foreman called them when he (very embarrassed) tried to explain to one of the hands (in their native tongue) which genre they were . Neither could look me in the face for a week, I felt like a real deviant!

Stars, I have to say, your life sounds amazing - living somewhere quiet, presumably working at home?

like another poster, I am introverted enough to want to work at home. I do work at home 2 days a week so really my goal should be to get more. I do find the security of having a job with sick pay very important - I was in accident last year and needed a bunch of time off. So much as I would work from home it would have to be something with the same security, which is probably asking a lot.

on Friday, I'm meeting up with someone who doesn't like my anti-socialness. I'm already girding myself for the conversation. I like her but if she carries on not understanding it, it's going to be complicated. She doesn't help matters because she is so flipping busy - likes to be scheduled 100% of the time - she hardly wants to come here and always says "but your journey home from work brings you here" - it does, but after work I just want to go home!