to think nearly all the mums I see are bottle feeding?

[newmumma2015]

Not judging those who can't breastfeed but when taking my new born out the past 3 months I've only seen one other mum breastfeeding. Are you all hiding?

FWIW OP, I can't see that anything you said caused this^.

"In real life many of my friends breast fed and many bottle fed. Some bottle fed by choice and others through no choice. No-one gave a shit, we all supported each other. "

No - it's AIBU is internet debate board and different conventions apply to dialogue and discussion.

For example, I have many friends whose children are overweight. I have never, and would never engage them in a conversation about this. Not my business.

However, I have engaged at length in debates about childhood obesity - the whys and wherefores, on mumsnet.

"Mumsnet is like a parallel dimension where people choose to breastfeed just to have a dig at bottle feeders and vice versa."

Congratulations - you have just won a medal for the most bizarrely deluded and defensive comment about breastfeeding that has ever been made on mumsnet. And that's saying something.

If only we could harness the power….

nicole No, they're right. I chose to formula feed just so that I could call breastfeeders obscene, booby-waving hippies. :)

"IT'S A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE DONTCHA KNOW"

Are you saying that pointing out that it actually is a public health issue in relation to dozens of wails that 'but it doesn't matter how a baby is fed, is somehow, um, a bit.. unfair? Or rude or something?

How the fuck was that being defensive about breastfeeding?

Most babies are not breastfed. However at an nct picnic last week bottle feeders were in the minority. Presume this is due to demographic nct attracts. My friend in my nct group who bottle fed did feel quite stressed and left out . My confident, loadsa friends Ds bottle fed from birth and didn't give a shit what anyone thought. Happy in her choice :)

Fucking hell nicole, it's like you've just crashed through a window and rolled ninja style into the thread.

Chill yourself out

BF-ing/FF-ing is such a tiny part of raising a child, it's not worth getting so angsty about other women's perfectly valid choices.

Nope, just that yes, we do know. We are aware. We know it's a public health issue, but that isn't going to magically make us re-lactate, or think 'yknow what, seeing as I was so horrendously judged for bottle feeding last time, I'd better formula feed this time'.

You have every right to bang your drum but you're banging it at the wrong people. You can use the facts to try and persuade struggling breastfeeders and people who tried but failed to breastfeed once the support is available, and tongue and lip ties are routinely found and removed rather than giving the baby's mouth a quick once-over and saying 'It's your problem, but we won't let you leave hospital until you sort out breastfeeding or give them formula'.

Until the in-hospital support is there, we can't work on the post-hospital support, and only when that practical support is there can you even begin to really challenge the lack of social support for breastfeeding. People who feel guilty enough about inability to breastfeed are the very last people you need to be giving the facts to.

culture from conversations I've had - and quite a few women I know are breastfeeding ATM - they feel judged, awkward and isolated. I don't know the ins and outs of their experiences, though.

Nicole I am all for more support and promotion, but I also believe that bf is not straightforwardly the most beneficial thing to mother and baby across the board, and that choosing (or yes, having to choose in the event of problems) ff is perfectly fine. No one should feel guilty when feeding their child, and being so black and white doesn't help when there are many factors to both childhood health and wellbeing and to successful bf. Getting support right (and this MUST include mental/pnd support) is the key to increasing rates. Bunfights on here where mums queue up to judge each other, not so much. (For full disclosure, I mixed fed in the early days, so I get shit from everyone).

What do people seriously think when they see people feeding differently from them?

When i see ff feeders I think "nice, no boobs out for you" or "it must be easier". That is probably the extent of my thoughts, if I have any at all.

I honestly haven't seen other bf mums around here.

That's a very good post and a fabulous username whystanniswhy

The rates of breastfeeding vary hugely depending on where you are. I'm in an area where breastfeeding rates are high compared to the UK average. It makes me struggle to imagine what it would be like to be breastfeeding in an area where it definitely isn't the norm. You see breastfeeding mums wherever there are babies, and no one is surprised by it.

What are breastfeeding mums judged for? For being indecent, or for something else?

culture I do actually think some people think it's indecent or something! I know it's a crazy concept but I really do. I think it has something to do with how sexualised women's bodies are now in the media (without sounding like a complete prude), and I think some people see a woman breastfeeding and think ... one friend was asked to BF in the toilet of the place she was in. Tis bizarre.

@ Worra and "crashed through a window and ninja rolled".

I have a 5 week old baby, breastfed for two weeks. I don't feel at all guilty about formula feeding her. She is thriving and loved.

I don't give a shit how any woman chooses to feed her baby or what her reasons for making that choice are. I assume that most women, like me, love their baby and have made the choice which is best for their individual circumstances.

I do care that some breastfeeding mums are made to feel awkward and uncomfortable about feeding their baby as they want to. I do care that some women like to make women who choose to formula feed feel like shit. Neither of those things are okay.

I challenge anybody to point out which adults were formula or breast fed as infants. It makes no difference in the long run, not really.

Fucking hell nicole, it's like you've just crashed through a window and rolled ninja style into the thread.

Chill yourself out

Congratulations alisvolatpropiis

Just one sentence, dd1 was ff and is now15 dd2 was bf and died from bacterial meningitis at 17 months

Dr0p when I see people breastfeeding, I think how nice it must be to not have to scald your hands sterilising bottles (DD has finally dropped her night time bottle of cows milk so sterilising is no more for us, many celebrations to be had today!). And after seeing threads about people feeling judged on here, I want to smile at them especially when they look quite sad and anxious and alone in cafes, but I don't want to be that creepy woman who grins at ladies with their boobs out.

x-post

sugar

I'm fortunate in that I've not had any encounters with people who can't understand that parts of our bodies can have more than one use! It's a really anti-woman belief to hold, that breasts must only be sexual and only seen when being sexual. Plus anyone who can look at a baby being fed and equate it with sex has some serious problems. No wonder they get so uncomfortable that they want to banish women to the toilets.

I'm in London and majority of the babies/children I know we're breastfed.

Were!

I think this society is pretty anti-woman but that's a completely different thread

People are arseholes.

to everyone BFing and FFing, either way it's bastard tough having a baby