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Original poster

Is 6pm too late to invite UK family for dinner?

97 replies

Maia290 · 17/07/2015 21:52

I have invited some English friends for dinner to our house for a Saturday at 6pm, now my friend says their boy (4 years old) would have had his dinner at their home already.
I am wondering what to do, should I suggest at 5pm instead, but isn't this way too early for adults to have dinner??
Doesn't all the family eat dinner at the same time?
Do you normally invite friends with children for dinner, if so what time do you all normally eat? I am wondering if it easier to suggest lunch instead.
As it is strange they are coming for dinner but the boy has eaten already...
We live in England but we are foreigners.

OP posts:
DonkeyOaty · 17/07/2015 23:04

To be fair mine were totes routine fans. We had quite a long spell where going out en famille after about 6.30 was impossible as they would be wailing for bed by then. Curses. But hey our local babysitters were very happy with this. #PollyAnna

DoesItReallyMatter · 17/07/2015 23:18

It's perfectly reasonable to invite a family over at 6
it's perfectly reasonable for the guests to say they are feeding their kid beforehand.

i wouldn't worry about this at all.

I occasionally fed my kids before going out and would tell the hosts ahead of time so that they didn't prepare anything. I don't think anyone ever minde.

emmaliz · 17/07/2015 23:24

I dont think 6pm is too late especially at a weekend. I just must be greedy but I couldn't bear to wait til 8pm in the evening to eat on a regular basis. I eat with kids as soon as I can when I get back from work

DisappointedOne · 17/07/2015 23:34

I'd rather eat at 9-10pm personally (I had lunch at 4pm today).

Siennasun · 17/07/2015 23:39

6pm is early to eat dinner. 5 would be ridiculous.
Our 2 yo eats between 6-7 but could eat later if we were going out. They may be feeding him before they come round because he's fussy or on a limited diet.

MrsNuckyThompson · 17/07/2015 23:41

To be honest I'd rather be invited for 8 when my child is already asleep!!

They are being rude and ridiculous. 5pm is kids tea time now dinner time for adults. If they are so worried they should feed their child before they come and let him play or watch a film while you have your meal.

littlejohnnydory · 17/07/2015 23:44

My children are 7, 5, 3 and baby and usually eat around 5 - 5.30pm. They could eat at six but we would have to arrange it so they didn't get too hungry and it would be tricky with the little ones. They're usually in bed by seven and by six they are tired, silly and wouldn't sit happily to eat. Dinner would be a disaster because they'd be so grumpy. Even the five (nearly six) year old would struggle. I'm not precious about routines but that tine of day is the worst with children.

We often eat at five with the children. On occasion we eat when they're in bed. The seven year old would manage to stay up for a later evening meal.

When we invite people over with children it's usually for an afternoon bbq or buffet. Anything later would be a grown up occasion after children went to bed.

crustsaway · 17/07/2015 23:45

Not sure why this is to do with people being English to be honest? People eat at all different times surely?

littlejohnnydory · 17/07/2015 23:48

Those of you saying young dc eat at 7, what time do they go to bed?!

bloodyteenagers · 17/07/2015 23:51

Mine have always eaten between
6 and 7. Hard to eat before then when you are not home.
Mainly everyone eats together unless late shift and that person would find their dinner in the fridge/microwave.

gamerchick · 17/07/2015 23:52

Youngest gets his tea at 4pm and something light before bed.. I dislike eating after 6.

I keep reading that people like to eat at silly hours in the pm and go to bed with a full stomach. I have nightmares if I do shit like that.

If your friends want to feed their kid before they come then don't give
It a second thought.

CultureSucksDownWords · 17/07/2015 23:52

I think some people are referring to an attitude toward children that is seen as British ie children eat on their own early, and are in bed by 7 or 8pm. As opposed to a more European (continental? Mediterranean?) culture of children staying up with the adults and eating with them and going to bed later.

I wonder what time children with a late bedtime of 9 or 10pm get up in the morning. And how that fits in with school?

bloodyteenagers · 17/07/2015 23:54

Sometime before 9.

bloodyteenagers · 17/07/2015 23:58

So my youngest eats by 7. Although on occasion this can be a bit
Later.
He is generally in bed by 9. Although if dinner is late, then so is bed.
He is up at 7:30 and is well above the national average in all subjects

Siennasun · 18/07/2015 00:01

DS (age2) eats between 6-7, goes to bed 8ish gets up 7ish, plenty of time to get to nursery.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 18/07/2015 00:03

We eat 6-7 most nights, increasingly it is towards 7pm.

So we would happily accept your invitation!

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 18/07/2015 00:04

Forgot to say, our children are 4 and 6.

BackforGood · 18/07/2015 00:20

As you can see - this is very individual to the family Grin

For me, if I were invited to dinner (in the evening) I would come without my dc (when they were that age) and therefore it would be helpful if it were a bit later - 7 or 7.30 so can get them ready for bed before the babysitter comes. If it were someone who wanted my dc to be part of the event, then I'd MUCH prefer to be invited at lunchtime.

It's not about me being stuck in routines (we weren't) but I just know that once they got to teatime, then the grouchiness would start - which is fine in your own home, but not what you want to present to others Smile

Cuppacoffeeinthebigtime · 18/07/2015 00:44

My 4 year old would be starving by 6pm. He has his tea at about 4:30. I wouldn't worry about it though. She will feed child beforehand in a bid to avoid inevitable food aggression at a social event and then the child can just have a pick at the dinner table when you are all eating. No problems at all.

Graciescotland · 18/07/2015 01:05

My four year old routinely eats dinner at six. I'm so surprised at the responses on here. We normally eat dinner as a family and then the grown ups have a bit of toast or something later on.

DisappointedOne · 18/07/2015 05:25

I wonder what time children with a late bedtime of 9 or 10pm get up in the morning. And how that fits in with school?

We're a family of night owls (mostly - this sort of wake up time is horrendous and so only happens on very rare occasions for very good reason!). DD is in bed by 8:30pm but it can be another hour or more before she manages to switch off her brain and sleep. It takes her longer in the summer despite 2 blackout blinds. She tends to wake naturally for school at 7:45am-ish. If she doesn't we wake her at 8am. Plenty of time to get her up and ready for school at 9am.

Jollyphonics · 18/07/2015 05:43

As you can see OP there's a lot of variation. I would suggest you ask the family if 6pm is difficult, and if they'd prefer a lunch instead.

lastnightiwenttomanderley · 18/07/2015 05:57

We rarely eat dinner before 8pm in this house.I am British and always ate with my parents. (there seems to be an undercurrent of 'uk is inferior to mainland europe' to this thread rather than just 'are our friends BU/odd')

You say you are foreign and I can't help but wonder which country. The reason I ask is that my aunt has a farm in Spain and when we go there dinner can be as late as 11-midnight however this is not as late as it sounds. The quirk of central European time is that western countries are an hour ahead despite being further west than the UK. For this reason, if you ate by the sun, the equivalent time would be 2hrs later. Eg eating at 9pm herd is actually the same as 11pm in western europe

WorktoLive · 18/07/2015 06:21

Where in the country do you live OP? Where I am (northern England) we call the midday meal dinner so that might be what your DS means? What does he normally call his meals at different times of day?

As you have gathered from the other posters, many DCs eat early and separately from their parents, but it isn't usually called 'dinner' for DCs at 5 pm? I thought the DCs early evening meal was usually called tea?

It is interesting how different countries go by meal times. In the Med, they eat their evening meal much later than us (as late as 10/11 pm in Spain in the summer) but I've heard that the US eat their evening meal even earlier than the Brits.

Allgunsblazing · 18/07/2015 07:02

OP, some people here feed their children earlier, on their own. I can't explain why you'd feed your kid on their own a separate food, but it's normal here. Think no more of it, it's not a dig at the time you set the dinner, it's just something some people do.
I am foreign too, I've never encountered this before I came to England and I have never contemplated joining in, irrespective of age, our child has always eaten with everybody else.
So, if she tells you her kid has eaten earlier, take it at face value. I would still put a plate at the table for him, just in case he fancies something off the table. The mum is telling you not to worry about a meal for him. Shrug it off. They're not being offensive, it's just something people do.