Is 6pm too late to invite UK family for dinner?

[Maia290]

I have invited some English friends for dinner to our house for a Saturday at 6pm, now my friend says their boy (4 years old) would have had his dinner at their home already.
I am wondering what to do, should I suggest at 5pm instead, but isn't this way too early for adults to have dinner??
Doesn't all the family eat dinner at the same time?
Do you normally invite friends with children for dinner, if so what time do you all normally eat? I am wondering if it easier to suggest lunch instead.
As it is strange they are coming for dinner but the boy has eaten already...
We live in England but we are foreigners.

[ItalianWiking84]

Dd never eats alone she eats with me, most days I'm off at 2 pm so we have plenty of time for play and then dinner at 5 pm ish... All my friends families eats together at around 5pm ish, it's the norm and normally both parents are home or else the parent who's at home eats with the kids

[Sallystyle]

We all eat here around 5.00pm. I don't eat breakfast or lunch so I am ready to eat then.

I would be more than happy to eat later if invited out. When my children were younger I would just have gave them a small snack if we were eating later and I thought they would be really hungry.

[Hulababy]

Maybe bedtime is the key. Some people like their children to go to bed very early.

We've always been more relaxed about bedtimes and therefore we were able to be more relaxed about meal times.

It was always important to us that Dh (and myself) got to spend time with dd after work each day. So bed time was later to accommodate this.

Friends put their child to bed at 6pm. It worked for them I guess.

Had we done this Dh would never have seen dd Monday to Friday, and I'd have struggled to see her much on my work days beyond the car journey. To us, time with both parents every day where possible was far more important and we wanted to be able to eat round the table as a family as often as possible, so this worked for us.

[Sallystyle]

I find it interesting that so many people think 5.00pm is early for tea.

By the time we have eaten, washed up, cleaned the kitchen it is about 6.30pm. I like everything in the house to be done by then so I can settle down and watch Emmerdale

If I had a dishwasher it wouldn't be so bad.

[Hulababy]

U2 - we have a dishwasher so clearing away is a 5 minute job max. And Dh does that and wipes the kitchen area used. I put things in dishwasher as I cook too.
And on a week day we don't really longer much. We eat and chat but it's still done within half an hour tbh.
So all finished by about 7:30

[Siennasun]

I eat early (6ish) with DS during the week and we try to eat as a family as much as possible. I think sociable mealtimes are good for kids.
if we go out for dinner either to friends' or restaurant we would all expect to eat later. Similarly we wouldn't invite friends around to our house to eat at 5, because that's not time when people generally eat dinner.
I would think it odd to be invited out for dinner at 5, unless there was a very specific reason.
I've not seen anything on this thread to imply that people who eat later are more "sophisticated" than people who eat early.

[NynaevesSister]

I grew up with a dinner time of 7pm and everyone eating together. I had to re adjust for youngest DS as he was born with a fixed routine and if he wasn't in bed by 7pm winter and 8pm summer he would fall asleep where he was. This included face down in his dinner. So I just had to adjust. But if we were invited out anywhere I would make this clear in advance and just explain that it was what happened and there was no way to control it. He was probably around 8 before he started to be able to stay up later. If your friends haven't said anything then just go with the flow. It could be that they do feed the four year old before they come - but that might be for 100 different reasons. I wouldn't take it personally! I'd have fed DS as I would know he'd be asleep otherwise.

[bakingaddict]

Surely people eat and go to bed in a routine that suits their lifestyles. I don't get all this European/Med kinda lifestyle being touted as somewhat superior to the more usual earlier bedtimes in this country.

The later meal times is a consequence of the Med countries having a siesta in the afternoon or a big lunch that lasts for a couple of hours. It's more about keeping your lifestyle suitable to the climate in which you live. I work FT so the kids (4 and 7) eat at the childminders and me and DH eat about 8pm or after the kids have gone to bed around 8.30pm or 9pm especially these lighter nights. At weekends I cook nice 2-3 course meals and we all eat around 6 - 6.30pm. In the winter we probably eat together a bit earlier as the kids are in bed by 8pm.

[Bakeoffcake]

Lots have people have different routines, as this thread shows.

There is no set time for the English to have their tea/dinner/supper. See we don't even have one name for it

[Athenaviolet]

This is why families with DCs don't go to each other's houses for dinner!

There is a British culture of a 2 dinner house and very early bedtimes for DCs.

It's not how I've done it but we are weird!

[Artandco]

Athena - of course the do. We have people over or go to theirs virtually weekly. Evening meals around 8pm, kids always join. They eat, stay up or sleep if tired.

[outtolunchagain]

But Art I do think that is fairly unusual in the Uk , when I had a four year old they were in bed by 7.30pm and a lot of people thought that was late.My ds3 is in year 8 and some of his classmates still have bedtimes before 9pm

[Artandco]

Maybe, it's doesn't seem to be unusual amoungst our group of friends. Bedtime 9pm, wake 8am still works for school. 11hrs is what the NHS recommends for a 4 year old. Weekends and holidays they can go to bed later and wake whenever

[BeaufortBelle]

They've said he will have had his dinner at home. You don't have to do anything. Enjoy your dinner with your friends. You might just ask if he might like a snack during the evening and if there's anything he particularly likes.

[Thurlow]

I don't think its unusual for a 4yo to be ready to crash not long after 6. So it might be less the food - they can eat beforehand - but knowing they won't be very good at socialising after 6-7pm and that no one will enjoy the dinner much because there will be a tired but overstimulated child causing havoc.

[prettywhiteguitar]

Depends on the school, ours are at school for 8.20 for school starting at 8.30 therefore bedtime has to be at 7ish

Op don't worry, your friend is just telling you that her dc will have eaten, that's all. They would decline if they didn't want to come

[Siennasun]

I don't think Art is unusual. We also often go to people's houses and they to ours for dinner with our DC.
Most of our friends have preschool children.

[Marynary]

I think that the time the British eat their evening meal varies very much from family to family. DH and I don't eat until at least 8 and whilst the children eat with us now they are older that certainly would have been too late when they were toddlers. They needed to be in bed by that time to get up the next day for nursery/school.

Eating together as a family seems to be something some people aspire to but I think that other things should have priority e.g. for children getting enough sleep is more important.

[outtolunchagain]

8.00am would be far to late to get up for us I suppose that's the difference , we are on our way to school by then , school starts at 8.30am .generally up by 6.45am.

I am not saying people don't do this , we have done it too especially with people with similar aged children , or in the holidays, but generally an invitation to dinner would be adults only and later , or the children eating at 6 etc and adults later , or a barbecue for example which would be earlier .

[Artandco]

This is why we chose a local school. They wake 8am, dress, eat and out the door. In school 3 mins away by 8.50am.

[bigbluebus]

I'm amazed at the number of people who seem so inflexible with their children's mealtimes.
When my DC where small, we often had friends over for dinner in the evening with their children and we would go to their houses too. If dinner was at 6pm the children would eat with us too - if they were likely to be hungry before then, then they could have a snack at home earlier on to keep them going. We would often take them in PJs so they could snuggle up and go to sleep when they were small and we could stay out to a reasonable time. We would always do this at a weekend when they could sleep in the next day to recover.

I was in Italy last week an saw many small children out late at night in buggies - they were all awake and taking in the atmosphere, so i assume they had had a nap in the afternoon and eaten at appropriate times.