To want to drop kick that kid out of a window?!

[IReallyHateThatKid]

I know I'll probably get flamed for this, but here goes nought...

I live in a 3-storey block of flats- 2 per floor- and (at present) we are the only ones without DC. The building is constructed in such a way that we hear noise from the flats above and below us. My downstairs neighbour has 3 dc and a dog, and another on the way, and while generally her kids are quiet at night I am woken by their noise every weekend morning.

Today's rant, however, is about the fucking devil's spawn child belonging to the neighbour who lives above me. It seems she's going through the terrible twos (or it might be threes), and wants to sleep in Mummy's bed with her at night, and screams bloody murder if she can't. Apparently my neighbour used to capitulate and let her DD get in bed with her; however it seems her new tactic is to just let the kid fucking scream. For hours. In the middle of the night. Every night.

The problem is, because the sound carries through the floor, I am woken- and kept awake- by this delightful child's screams. I work unsociable shifts as a nurse because all the daytime shifts get given to my colleagues with kids so I have to get up at 3:30 in the morning most days, and even now, as I type, I am listening to that child screaming, feeling my blood pressure rise, knowing that even if/when she stops I'll be too stressed to go back to sleep, and I'll go to work utterly exhausted. My neighbour works part time (afternoons only) and her Mum takes the kid to nursery every day so she can catch up on her sleep in the mornings. I don't have that luxury. This has been going on for weeks now, to the point where I'm frequently in tears myself. It's no good trying to get an early night to compensate as there is a play area outside the building, where yet more kids make yet more noise until about 9 p.m.

I've tried speaking to my neighbour about it- I'm not some unsympathetic child hater (although this child is sending me further in that direction every day) I'm planning on having my own DC eventually when I have a house and soundproofed walls, I really do understand that it isn't easy for her and- like she says - her DD needs to learn that she can't just have her way- but AIBU to think that it's a little unfair that she's just letting the kid scream and keep me her neighbours awake? I've tried using earplugs, but they pop out of my ears and I worry about sleeping through my alarm.

Tell you what, there's no contraceptive as effective as other people's children!

YANBU. This is awful. Contrary to popular opinion on here, the needs of parents and children shouldn't automatically trump those of others.
You're a nurse, it's horrible having to go to work and be responsible for other people's lives when you've had virtually no sleep.
I don't know what you can do other than contact your landlord if you have one. Hopefully this won't last much longer.

Phone environmental health re noise. Also, would sleeping in living room help? Tell the mother that you will have no choice to take it further if this persists beyond a certain date (eg end of the month).

Yanbu to want some sleep but earplugs would be a better solution than drop kicking a toddler out of a window because he is crying due to mum attempting to establish a new sleep routine.

Also keepna diary of the dates/times you have been kept awake.

Your title is vile

Your issue is serious and I appreciate your frustration

Soup Dragon do you not think that if that was possible then the op would have done so? Not many people choose to live in a noisy flat when they have the funds to live in a detached property.

I'm also wondering if the child us having night terrors. Night terrors would cause a child to scream for a good while each night, possibly hours, and there isn't really anything a parent can do to stop it.
I still think that earplugs are the way to go.

But moving isn't about this child. The whole set up seems inappropriate for OPs requirements, so much so she's in tears. I'd say thinking about moving is quite sensible it is not simply one noisy family who could be reminded. Other suggestions - black out curtains, egg boxes stuck to ceiling, double glazing..

Why do people take the titles of these thread so seriously? screaming through the night is not 'the reality' of having a three year old. Sure lots of them refuse to go to sleep but the parents handle it in a way that doesn't involve the child screaming non stop for hours on end in the middle of the night. Having said that though op it sounds as though you are getting irritation from all angles so you probably are better off just moving!

Thought you'd get flamed to hell OP - good to see you've had quite a few supportive responses. I don't blame you at all for feeling furious and extremely stressed out in this situation. No one expects perfect silence when you live in a flat but what you describe is ridiculous. You've tried speaking to the mother, would speaking to the landlord / freeholder be a good next step?

Ignore the people telling you to move or buy a detached house - some people just don't like thinking and have a glib answer for everything.

YANBU. I would be utterly pissed off with it too. I might have been lucky but I have had 6 dc (including steps) and I do not see that as normal 3 year old behaviour, or normal parent behaviour, it sounds like she is ignoring the child not helping her get used to being in her own bed. tbh its only on MN I have known about any toddlers/children that didn't sleep through the night, Mine all did and all my friends dc did too so I can not quite get my head around a child that age screaming half the night.

Love all the suggestions of ear plugs when the op says she has tried them but they pop out.

I would tape the noise and speak to the mum again. This isn't fair on you. I don't know what she can do really but that isn't your problem.

YANBU and the title of the thread shows how fucking frustrated you have become.

No, it isn't the child's fault but (wait for it) that's why kids have parent/s... to care for them, look after them, teach them how to grow up in a socially acceptable manner and to restrain their worst behaviour for the benefit of the rest of the human race.

So OP can reasonably expect that any parent, no matter how close to or far past the end of their tether they may be, should take steps to prevent their offspring from behaving in a manner that is detrimental to the lives of others.

The rest of the human race should always put up with transient irritating behaviour, so the kid that screamed the supermarket down yesterday would not fall under this rule but once a behaviour becomes extended, habitual and disruptive for other a parent must act to ameliorate the damage done. Not just for the sake of the neighbours, but for the kid too. It isn't good enough to get mum to take your kid so you can catch up with some sleep whilst letting your child disrupt the lives of your neighbours.

Or have things changed so much over the past decades that the rights of kids to simply be are so sacrosanct that anything they do is not under the purview of their parents?

Okay so earplugs pop out, I missed that. What about noise reducing earphones as they sit on the outside of the ear and are very good at reducing all kinds of noise.
I do agree that children screaming for hours is not normal but if it is night terrors then there is no solution to the child's screaming so the only thing to do is try and block the noise somehow.

Of course it could just be poor parenting and the mum might not want to settle her child but I can't see even the most feckless of parents being able to put up with that kind of noise without trying to do something about it.

On my break at work and just been reading everyone's responses. Thanks for being so understanding!

I live in a HA flat so unfortunately I can't just move, I can make a request for a transfer somewhere else but heaven only knows where I'd end up, and aside from the noise issue this place is perfect; it's modern, close to work and I've gone to a lot of effort to make it my home.

I'd feel dreadfully guilty reporting my neighbour to the HA, I wouldn't like that kind of tension in such a small building and really (during the day), her DD is a sweet if rather spoiled little girl.

I have tried sleeping on the sofa but can never really get comfy in there, and it always leaves me feeling resentful that I've been driven out of my own bed by someone else's child!

Good post LazyLouLou

What lazyloulou said.

A couple of nights, ok. Weeks and weeks of it, not ok. And I say this as the mum of 2 DCs that wake up almost every night. We make sure they are quiet.

Op google rapid return technique and take this info to youe neighbour. Explain your sympathetic with her wish to have a good night sleep however her current plan clearly isnt working so try that one
If she is unwilling to do so. I would report without feeling guilty.

I am the mother of 4 not one of mine would have screamed for weeks at night. I need my sleep too.

Bioears earplugs. They're soft silicon and don't pop out.

The title made me

It's not fair that you'd have to move especially if you love your home. The spawn will outgrow the crying at night (hopefully)

UANBU, the parent could be more understanding as you've said, the girls mother is sleep deprived from this incessant screaming so should have some sympathy for those she's inflicting sleep depravation on.

If it's that bad and zero compromise can be reached than you'll have to log it and report it.

My dcs both have SNs, and my 5yo tends to come in and sleep in with me during the night. I have tried to get him to go back to his bed, but it just results in extended screaming. He could go on for hours and there is literally nothing I could do to stop him. Once he gets going, even allowing him to do what he wants will not stop it - he will just keep going until he is finally able to get it under control. I try to help him calm, but due to his SNs, he is often unable to bring it under control himself.

I've put off dealing with this for now because the noise he makes when I send him back to his own bed (crying, screaming) will not only bother the neighbours but will also distress ds1, who also has SNs, and cannot cope with it. Then I'll have two dcs crying and screaming for hours.

At some point, I'll have to address the issue, and it will be noisy for many many nights. While I have sympathy for the noise it will cause and I will do what I can to keep it down as much as possible, it's unavoidable. I cannot just let him do what he wants without dealing with these issues. That, too, is part of parenting. A noisy part, unfortunately.

God op, I really feel for you - the noise would drive me bonkers.

I know you said that earplugs pop out, but it's worth trying different types - not all are created equal! I have found that the wax ones that mould to your ear to be very secure and effective. You can put a very loud alarm on your phone and have it on the pillow next to you if you're worried about sleeping through.

Earplug linky here.... www.cocooncenter.co.uk/quies-wax-ear-plugs-8-pairs/11863.html?currency=GBP&gclid=Cj0KEQjwrJ2tBRD13N7T5u7k9I8BEiQA5APAANONGKpN7Ih43kM0A2qry9HZ4oZfKfgdrb9Lo51BTNwaAj3M8P8HAQ

It's inconsiderate of your neighbour. No normal, considerate person would leave their tiny child to cry for hours every night. It's not fair on the child or the neighbours.

But in what world is it funny to joke about drop kicking a two year old?