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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To friend request dd's nursery teacher on Facebook?

30 replies

turtlepig · 15/07/2015 21:30

Dd finished nursery yesterday - starts reception in September. She had a very lovely nursery teacher who really invested a lot of time and patience in Dd and helped her to overcome anxiety and lack of confidence.
Dd's nursery teacher has a distinctive surname - I have searched and found her on Facebook. I have a really lovely picture of her with my Dd and wanted to friend request her and send pic. Dh says that would be a bit weird and an invasion of her privacy - is he right?
We will continue to see her as Dd will be continuing at the school the nursery is attached to and dd2 will be attending the nursery the year after next if this makes any difference.

OP posts:
Ashwinder · 15/07/2015 21:32

I wouldn't. Can't you print out the pic and give her copy with a nice card once school starts again?

britespark1 · 15/07/2015 21:32

I really like my sons nursery teacher but it crosses a line to add them on FB in my opinion.

TeenAndTween · 15/07/2015 21:33

I don't think you should.

It blurs boundaries between school and home.

We recently had it mentioned in a school newsletter not to be offended if requests were rejected.

Print out the picture and drop it in with a short note saying how much you appreciate all she has done.

TheDowagerCuntess · 15/07/2015 21:34

I wouldn't, personally, as I think many people (and especially teachers/educators) prefer to keep social media just for friends. In fact, most professionals prefer to keep people they only know in a professional capacity off Facebook.

DH is not a big user, but he doesn't even have work colleagues (who he happily socialises with) on FB.

You could still send her the photo with a nice message without friend-requesting her.

MrsJamin · 15/07/2015 21:34

Don't. She will feel very awkward and the professional lines would feel blurred.

Mrsjayy · 15/07/2015 21:34

No dont im sure she is lovely but its kinda crossing the line imo

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 15/07/2015 21:34

No way. Print the picture and give it by all means. You're just a part of her job, her FB is personal.

Psycobabble · 15/07/2015 21:36

She may not be allowed then it'll be Akward !!

Why not make the picture into a lovely card on one of those websites where you can personalise your card and give her some nice chocs with it as a thankyou gift ?

NormHonal · 15/07/2015 21:36

Speaking from experience.

Don't friend her - if she wants to, she will find and friend you. This has happened to me with one of my DC's nursery teachers who wanted to keep in touch once we had left.

AnyFucker · 15/07/2015 21:37

that would make you a weirdo

woodleydoodle · 15/07/2015 21:37

Absolutely no

Getuhda348 · 15/07/2015 21:38

Usually in those types of jobs they are not allowed to accept friend requests from family as it crosses the line of acting professionally. But it would be lovely to take in the picture I'm sure she would really appriciate it Smile

Amy106 · 15/07/2015 21:38

Sorry but I agree with dh (and the others on this thread). It's a invasion of her privacy. If she really wants to friend you on Facebook, she will send you a request.

bobajob · 15/07/2015 21:38

No, she already has plenty of photos of your DD, she won't want another one!

Only1scoop · 15/07/2015 21:40

No way

Original poster
turtlepig · 15/07/2015 21:40

OK unanimous for the "no" vote then! Thank you. I may print it off and give it to her when dd starts in reception. I think I'm just so grateful for the way she has supported dd this year and in addition to that I think she is a lovely lady and will miss chatting with her every now and again! I did write her a lovely card expressing my gratitude for all she has done for dd so possibly a Facebook friend request and pic would be crossing the line into nursery teacher stalkerdom Grin I shall tell Dh the mumsnet jury have sided with him.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 15/07/2015 21:40

Good plan

AspieAndNT · 15/07/2015 21:41

Don't friend request her for all the reasons above. If you feel that you MUST give her the photo then print it off, but to be honest as much as your child is lovely - she is just a job to the staff.

Chancewouldbefinething · 15/07/2015 21:43

Mumsnetters again speak words of wisdom!
Hope your daughter has a fab time in reception x

IUseAnyName · 15/07/2015 21:44

I've been tempted to befriend ds reception teacher as she's lovely :) and we have many things in common, but I have resisted as feel it is crossing a line x

NK5BM3 · 15/07/2015 21:46

She won't be allowed to friend you anyway. Policy of schools and nurseries! You could do it when your child leaves but you say you have younger child who will be going there too. So best not.

hollieberrie · 15/07/2015 21:53

Yes we are absolutely not allowed to accept FB friend requests from parents. There'd be serious trouble from management at my school if any teacher did this, it blurs the boundaries. Its hard cos we get fond of parents too, but its a no go.

Trumpity · 15/07/2015 21:57

I am friends with a few ladies at my daughter's pre-school. Everyone knows each other one way or another round here.

Psycobabble · 15/07/2015 21:59

Aww Do some of you have some lady crushes going on ?! Grin

littlejohnnydory · 15/07/2015 22:06

We live in a small village where several teachers have children at the school and do socialise with parents. Many parents are facebook friends with the teachers. I waited for dd's teacher to friend request me and not vice versa though. I am also facebook friends with dd's nursery teacher from another area (again, she sent me the friend request, not me her). So clearly some schools are fine with it, others not. I wouldn't friend request the teacher though.

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