To be irritated with parents forcing children to sit and eat at soft play

[SrAssumpta]

I spent the morning in a play centre with a few other mums and our 3-4 year olds, met at half 9 and stayed about two hours.
The children weren't even playing five minutes when the other parents were calling them back over "Simon, would you like a yogurt? Come down and have some grapes", "Lucy have some crisps", "Oh darling I've gotten you a slush puppy come down and have it before it melts"
I just don't get it? We met up to let them play, why couldn't they eat at home, it's an expensive play centre why can't they make the most of it? Then a huge platter of nuggets and chips was ordered and they were made sit and eat all the greasy food on their plate and coaxed with "Go on just two more nuggets then you can go back and play"

I find it so irritating, we could have just met up for breakfast or lunch but why take children somewhere they're supposed to have fun and force them to sit down and eat?

ace think of one person, short of sn or a dx health reason, that is either overweight currently, has been in the past, or constantly monitors what they eat, that you've ever met that says anything other than they overeat/ monitor it for any other reason than not recognising that their physical requirement for food has been fulfilled. They don't eat past the need for required food because they are stupid, or because they think they actually physically need it, or because they think constant monitoring and/or obesity is a fun and desirable life choice. It's simply because they can't interpret the physical signal for hungry and full correctly.
If it wasn't a state of mind that caused it, handing everyone overweight a diet and exercise plan or educating them on healthy lifestyles would unfailingly work. And yet it doesn't because obesity is about mindset.

I actually know of many people who wish to be obese (I run in fetish circles, it's fairly common) and I also know people who are continuously hungry with no medical reason (extensive testing carried out and experts trying to help them listen to triggers for hungry and full, which it turned out he was already doing that correctly). I've spent a lot of my life in eating support groups so I see all sides of this.

As nursery said, all along everyone's agreed you should feed kids when they need it, or if there is the unusual situation they won't initiate eating when they need it themselves. What people object to is feeding or coercing kids to eat when they don't need it.
I accept there's the possibility of the very rare exception of an overweight adult with a valid reason for being so also having a toddler/ child with a valid reason for needing reminding when they need to eat. But that's it, it's rare. Usually the parent persuading the child to over eat is either overweight themselves or constantly considering what they eat to avoid becoming so.

To be honest, some of the time it isn't the parents being 'snackpushers' - as you do fairly often see youngsters who aren't at all interested in any playing or exercise at all... they would much rather just sit and eat for two hours solid.

Nobody's denying there isn't a tiny % of people that do have an unavoidable valid reason to be overweight ace. But I bet the % of the population today that fills the criteria of valid reason is in direct correlation to the % of the population that was overweight 100 years or more ago. I get that now people with a health condition are more likely to survive and reproduce possibly passing that valid reason on, but I'm off-setting that against the fact even 100 years ago a small minority would have over eaten with no valid reason

Agreed dodo I believe some people are born without an off switch, but even then parents should try and install an alternative. And I think that's rare too, and would be obvious from pre weaning age. usually they're made.

I did do this. My dd1 didnt ask for food at 3-4yo and if she dropped her blood sugar she would end up having a meltdown. I fed her something and her behaviour resolved. Having set snack times is best as then they dont fill up on junk before meals.

Only on mumsnet is every social comment met with 'my darling has a medical condition/ meltdown/ blood sugar/ high metabolism' bollocks.
The poster was right earlier. You are fed constantly you crash, you need topping up. What happens at school or the world of work? I don't allow food in my classroom and I see tired lethargic children coming off sugar highs. It's bad parenting and I do judge..... It's a crisis and needs addressing.

I'd have struggled with set snack times as I never really had fixed meal times unless fitting in with other set plans. Although having one child is admittedly the factor in that being remotely practical

And how do you know their blood sugars are dropping and they aren't just playing up? Are you testing? I have very low blood sugar and it doesn't make ME tantrum. I have a drink and it's resolved. Madness.

Medical condition bollocks? Thanks.

I wonder this too wanna sometimes food is just the distraction to kill the bad behaviour/ tantrum, food to change your mood and fuck all to do with hunger being addressed.

Post puberty I know when mines dropped because I feel faint, dd needs a 5 min sit. Although post puberty I expect it will be getting dizzy. And of course we both eat at that point. But despite stupidly fast/ high metabolism that's usually after not eating for 8hrs plus while also being active.

I have very low blood pressure and it often makes me faint - it is not resolved by a mere drink!

Discussion is healthy though and generally speaking I actually hate to see mothers judging other mothers (rich being the OP I know) but I'm just more baffled and thinking we've gone food and fussing mad as a nation.

In saying that, I was having an important chat with my friend on the phone earlier and mindlessly chopped up a mango and gave it to DD, totally unnecessary and was obviously to buy myself a bit more time on the phone so I'm actually more self aware because of this discussion and not putting myself on any sort of pedestal.

As mum with 2 children that are both underweight I feel pressured into following my kids round with snacks... Maybe there's more than meets the eye.

BrownEyes do you not think that doing that makes food a chore to them, if you instead let them get hungry they might enjoy sitting down to a hearty meal?

I take my kids to soft play to PLAY!
I only give them food if they bug me for it and then I say go back and play. We can eat at home, we are there to expend some of that seemingly endless energy. Obviously I remind them to drink if they are looking hot.

I should add I have been advised to have small / more frequent meals so snacks as the 'big' meal can make it worse!

I'm also irritated by the MN phenomenon when discussing children's eating habits of starting posts with the DDs model like measurements, this really doesn't matter, you can be desperately unhealthy and extremely thin and can also learn such bad eating habits that you gain weight in your twenties or thirties when certain activities are replaced with work etc

Toys I am not saying ALL medical conditions are bollocks. I have low blood sugar, short bowel, Crohn's etc and have to be very careful. What does irritate is that on mumsnet some parents are beyond reproach and there is always some heart felt reason as to why their child need stuffing with something. That they can't make the link between crashing blood sugar, behaviour and constant grazing......
Anyhow.....

Thats right op, I have a friend with a dc who was having weigh ins at the hv monthy at 4 years old because he was so underweight, he never waited for anything, he had breadsticks waved under hes nose constantly and she dispaired that he never wanted to eat. One day we all went to a museum got back late and for some reason food was overlooked that day we all sat down at her Mums house at the end of the day and the kid ate a full roast he was only offered it as a token effort because the hv had said keep offering what he should be eating just don't make a fuss if he leaves it.

Teacher I'm not a perfect parent. Far from it
However the childhood obesity crisis occurred way after my dc were small and it became compulsory to leave the house laden with snacks. Go figure.
You sound very defensive and devoid of reality tbh.

Wanna I am glad to know that my daughter's hypoglycaemia is bollocks. Do I test? Fuck yes. Well, now that she is almost 10, she tests herself more often than not. Frequently close to 10 times a day. Her blood sugar routinely drops below 3.0, I have had more than one call per day from the medical staff at the specialized camp she is attending advising me of unstable blood sugar and asking for treatment guidelines. This evening, her blood sugar dropped suddenly, she blacked out and was injured (not severely, fortunately). However, I will let her endocrinologist know he can stop writing prescriptions for Glucagen because some random stranger with no medical training on the internet knows that low blood sugar is just an excuse for parents to stuff food in the faces of their perfect wee bairn who are and will forever be beyond reproach.

Yes, I am definitely full of shit - because you have declared that there cannot possibly be a medical reason why my daughter carries a tube of biscuit icing in one pocket and an injectable hormone with horrendous side effects in the other for low blood sugar emergencies.

Thank you for setting me straight.