To be irritated with parents forcing children to sit and eat at soft play

[SrAssumpta]

I spent the morning in a play centre with a few other mums and our 3-4 year olds, met at half 9 and stayed about two hours.
The children weren't even playing five minutes when the other parents were calling them back over "Simon, would you like a yogurt? Come down and have some grapes", "Lucy have some crisps", "Oh darling I've gotten you a slush puppy come down and have it before it melts"
I just don't get it? We met up to let them play, why couldn't they eat at home, it's an expensive play centre why can't they make the most of it? Then a huge platter of nuggets and chips was ordered and they were made sit and eat all the greasy food on their plate and coaxed with "Go on just two more nuggets then you can go back and play"

I find it so irritating, we could have just met up for breakfast or lunch but why take children somewhere they're supposed to have fun and force them to sit down and eat?

Sorry, that was a reply to Ace.

I take no offence what so ever (and didn't actually say I was offended). What I am trying to do though is suggest some tolerance as parents get judged enough without us judging each other.

Obesity in children has been shown to be caused by a huge range of factors running from emotional distress to parental neglect to lack of exercise. You cannot take one thing and say that "much of it" is because of that as it's simply not true, it is a range of things that have come together that created a problem.

YABU- You have no idea what any child needs except your own. I wish parents would stop judging each other. If they are happy to let there kids snack let them, why let it bother you so much?

There could be reasons behind it, like mentioned before - an oncoming tantrum, they're going somewhere after and lunch might be later than usual, they aren't good waters and prefer to eat with friends.

If your kids are not forced to sit and eat with them, leave the other parents alone. We are all doing what we feel is best so only let the parenting of your own kids bother you. Also adding 'greasy' chicken nuggets. Sorry but you have no idea whether theats the only naughty meal they have, I think you need to mind your own business tbh.

Of course not all obesity is caused by grazing between meals. But some of it is, and much of the increase in it is.

I think the fact that posters have made it clear that they realise there are sometimes medical issues for children needing regular snacks demonstrates that there is understanding and 'tolerance' of this.

It is the parents who have set up a situation where children are constantly snacking between meals, then refusing to eat at mealtimes, and who then say that there children get cranky and cross without regular snacks but don't co-relate the two that are getting criticised on here.

You just hit the nail on the head there "getting criticised". No ones parenting styles deserved to be critiqued by anyone else, even anonymously, unless there is a genuine concern for the child's welfare and even then you should look to help or get help rather than critique. When did we all forget that we are all just doing our best?

Obesity is caused by consuming more than your body needs and nothing else. There are valid reasons why you might consume more than your body needs, like medical cause, mental health, being incapable of making that decision because it's your parents, sn, lack of exercise etc.
However only a very small minority actually have valid unavoidable reason for being overweight, otherwise every past generation would be too. I'm not saying I blame people who are with no valid reason, but somebody else is responsible if not them. Obesity runs in families because generally it's nurture not nature.
Even mental distress doesn't actually provide an unavoidable reason, because somewhere they got the idea food was a comfort whether that was parents or outside factors. Someone who is effortlessly healthy doesn't wake up one day and decide over eating will make them feel better

YANBU. It's this 'snack' culture that's so prevalent these days. It seems that it's impossible for parents to leave the house these days without a bag bulging full of snacks, even if they're only out for a couple of hours. Of course it must be contributing to the obesity crisis, medical issues apart.
When my dc were little I used to take a drinks with me but no food unless a we were going to be out over a meal time. Trouble is, many adults don't seem to be able to go more than a few minutes without stuffing their faces having a snack, so it's no wonder their children can't either

Totally agree Ace. If it's not out own kids, it has nothing to do with us unless the child is suffering. Do you think the other parents that the OP is talking about would come on here and ask why she wasn't letting her kids snack? No because they're busy looking after there own and wouldn't judge (hopefully!)

Ace, parents who over feed their children or give them bad eating habits are creating a serious health issue. That is something that people are perfectly entitled to comment on. We're not going up directly to parents and saying anything. We're discussing it on a public forum.

How very dare we.

Snack 'culture' Jesus Christ! And I don't know where you live punk but I certainly don't know 'many' adults who stuff there faces every few minutes. I think you're all being over dramatic and judgemental and award you all on your apparent perfect parenting!

Of course you are entitled to comment on it, there are many things people are entitled to but just because you are entitled to said thing doesn't mean you should. Entitlement is not the door to appropriate.

I would also like to add that most of not all nurseries offer snacks to the children that I have visited.

And yes I do think obesity, or laying the grounds by teaching unhealthy eating attitudes is a welfare concern, because it causes both mental and physical risks and shortens life.
If a parent with functioning bulimia and a bmi of 16 was publically teaching their toddler their habits, let alone if that toddler got to puberty and was also unhealthily underweight and publicly demonstrating their unhealthy eating habits, and their parent greeted them after school with a cry of 'did you throw up lunch sweetie' you can guarantee that everyone would judge it as a welfare concern, although I doubt it would get further than toddler age before ss got involved

Really Ace. No one should publicly discuss or comment on rising childhood obesity and the fact that many children nowadays are encouraged to snack constantly between meals?
You'd better get on to the BBC because they've had several documentaries about this recently. Oh and I've seen articles about it in several daily newspapers. You should complain to them as well.

I see no harm in the discussion or comments.

If the older generation had the internet and read/took part in discussions on how making children clear their plates might lead to future eating disorders, I'm quite sure some people would have been very grateful today - especially those who say they've battled with their weight because of it.

Equally if discussions like this make people think there's a possibility that constantly giving their children food, and not allowing them to feel hunger might also be storing up future problems for them, then I see no harm in that either.

Discussion is a good thing imo.

I am a size 8-10 I don't like big meals, I prefer to have small meals and snack on fruit and yoghurt between meals. Does this make me unhealthy? I run with my pram every morning and on my own in the evening, a banana before is just what I need to fuel me. Not everyone is the same.

Comment on childhood obesity all you what but don't drag someone's specific parenting into your argument. Certainly come at me with well researched facts, figures and suggestible solutions, I'll be more than happy to listen (as I do actually love information)

Not overdramatic and judgemental when I work in a profession that deals with the side effects of obesity every day and which cost the bus an absolute fucking fortune.
Struck a cord have I Teacher? Everywhere you go these days -supermarket, park, school run you see children eating outside mealtimes.

Where did anyone drag someone's 'specific parenting' into it. The OP commented on something she observed amongst a group of people, and we have discussed the general issue on here.
I really don't understand your antagonistic attitude.

Oh and just to add I'm a former bulimia sufferer and lay that blame at my own feet ( my mum raised three girls who all eat totally different). I know the importance of a healthy relationship with food.

No you have not struck a chord in the slightest, why would it have?! Strange.

I'm sure most of the kids you work with were not given 'snacks' such as fruit, rice cakes etc. I suspect that it has a lot more to do with what they eat at mealtimes as well as through the day.

I'd like to know why me suggesting that using your friends as an example of unhealthy food routines isn't very nice makes me antagonistic ?

Well the point is Teacher, that what they eat at mealtimes is often affected by what they eat during the day.

The OP didn't criticise one particular parent in the group Ace. She observed that there seemed to be a general attitude in the group that children need constant snacks, even if they have to be co-erced and persuaded to eat them. It was an interesting point that generated an interesting discussion.

Do you think the other parents that the OP is talking about would come on here and ask why she wasn't letting her kids snack?

Letting? See I still don't think you're fully understanding either my OP or later messages at all.