To have a favourite child

[Gwenci]

I know iabu but I can't help it.

DD is horrible. She's 22 months which I know is a difficult age but from the very start she's been difficult. As a newborn she cried constantly but hated to be held, wriggling and kicking to be put down.

Now she's a toddler it's even worse. She doesn't talk but instead wails to get what she wants. She'll be doing one thing, decides she wants to do something else and immediately just scream. Like a banshee. As soon as I figure out what the problem is the noise stops. Until the next thing comes up. I hate caving in to the wailing but she just won't communicate any other way.

Other mums laugh at her feistiness and say how funny she is. I smile along but I swear it's starting to grind me down. She fights me on everything - getting dressed, shoes, going in the buggy/walking. I know that's toddler behaviour but this is absolutely constant from the minute she gets up to bedtime. She also hates affection and won't cuddle me or let me kiss her.

To add to this, I've got a 3 month old DS and he is utterly adorable. He barely cries, he's such a happy, contented little soul. When he sees me his face lights up in a massive grin and he gurgles. He loves cuddles but is also happy in his bouncy chair.

DD began this morning crying - stepping up the wailing when I went in to get her and it hasn't really stopped since.

AIBU to just want to hide upstairs and cuddle DS?

Another thought I had.
Take her to the doctor for a check up.
She might be in pain, but can't tell you.
Another story I heard, had an awfully grump little girl.
Eventually, somebody took her for an eye test. One eye was really long sighted, they were completely un-balanced and giving the poor kid migraines.
With some little glasses, her tantrums stopped overnight!
I have a gut feeling, that as she starts the day by screaming at you, there is something bothering her, but she can't tell you what.

I would second the recommendation for Easier Calmer Parenting. I am a bit shocked that posters think this behaviour isn't within the normal range. Dd could be massively jealous as you coo over your newer baby etc. Also my dd1 hated cuddles as a toddler but at 3 and a half she will happily cuddle up.

Yanbu. Well done for being so honest. Speak to your HV to see if they've got any remedies for her behaviour

It isn't unreasonable to find one child easier and rewarding than the other for limited periods. However if you are developing a definite and prolonged bias I think its important to work on rectifying that eg getting someone else to look after most-favoured for a few hours regularly so you can engage in activities with least favoured to improve the relationship.
To the OP-it sounds as if you are just stressed at the moment and this will probably change but if you see a preference becoming more set do something to tackle it.

I think it sounds tough op and you need to see a professional. Start with your GP or HV. Could you afford some nursery sessions for you both to get a break?

I feel sure this is a stage and things will get better. You must be knackered