Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Parking wars!

90 replies

YNK · 14/07/2015 14:51

I live in a Victorian Terrace and myself and my daughter have cars which we park in the road in front. It takes up slightly more space than my housefront but both neighbours on either side of me are more than happy with it.

A neighbour further down the block parks in front of our cars with a white van outside an elderly disabled couples house.
On friday night I parked up close to my daughter so he had plenty of room to get in (busy road) but after she left for a short weekend break he parked so close to me it was a major feat getting out and, in particular, back in. He had plenty of room behind him so I was a bit annoyed.

I have very poor mobility so I had no choice but to hold up the traffic in order to manouver which led to me being intimidated by other drivers horns blaring at me. It was very close to me not being able to get out at all and being trapped in the house.

On Sunday I left a note on his windscreen explaining my difficulty and asking him to please leave me enough room.

He came to see me last night and told me that his landlord owns and shares the house he lives in and he has been told not to park in front of his own home because it obstructs his landlords view. His landlord has an even bigger van which he very occasionally parks in front of his own house though.

He asked if one of us could park up the block so he can park in front of my house to keep his landlord happy. Obviously I can't without needing a wheelchair and my daughter has a young child and does all our shopping so I said this was a bit of a daft idea. He went away but left his address in case I ever need to ask him to move. Thinking about it later I realised this would only be the case if both big vans parked there but that has never happened before so I put it out of mind.

Today the landlords van is outside his neighbours. Together the two vans will take up 3 housefronts and leave things tight for us again and I'm worried the landlord intends to make an issue of it.

He often blocks the lane behind the house so we just drive around the block if this happens, however my daughter was unloading stuff one day and he was very rude to her and demanded she move immediately to let him pass. His ex wife left him because of DV so I'm a bit wary of him.

I think they are BU.
I think the landlord and his tenant need to come to a better understanding that doesn't involve me but what will I do if it turns nasty?

OP posts:

TheReluctantCountess · 14/07/2015 16:31

It's a crap situation, but nobody has more right to park there than anybody else, unless you get a disabled bay put in.

Spartans · 14/07/2015 16:41

Yes but leaving your dd lots of room to get isn't really the point. your dds car has no more importance than anyone else's on the road.

What do you have to lose?

You really are over reacting. To the point I think it might be helpful to speak to your gp.

Original poster

YNK · 14/07/2015 16:42

Oh, and it's not that there's a shortage of spaces.
There is a lamp post on the other side of his house and spaces in front of the next 4 houses between that and the end of the block where no one ever parks.
The tenant has asked me and my daughter to park up there so he can use the space in front of my house because his landlord won't allow parking outside his house.
I still feel this is unreasonable but will make inquiries about a designated space or risk being trapped in my home.

OP posts:

Original poster

YNK · 14/07/2015 16:46

Oh dear - you are suggesting I'm mentally ill too?
Sheesh, I don't suppose you have ever been scared of losing your access to the outside world?
This is why I don't draw attention to my disability - it invites all sorts of nonsense from people!

OP posts:

Spartans · 14/07/2015 16:46

Look at it from his PoV you want him to park differently. He feels he can't because of the landlord. There is no disabled spot so he has asked if you can help rectify it by you parking some where else. You can't but your dd can.

He is stuck in a difficult position and you are disabled. So get the spot and there is no problem. His landlord can't force him to park in a disabled spot.

Original poster

YNK · 14/07/2015 16:50

No, I have never asked him to park differently.
I only pointed out that when I had pulled up tight to give him plenty of room, he sandwiched me tight in with plenty of space behind him.
Some of you are failing to read my posts correctly I think.

OP posts:

Spartans · 14/07/2015 16:50

Really op, everyone who needs to speak to their go about being anxious is not mentally ill. I didn't say that or even hint that.

If you are becoming frightened over what might happen with a parking space and is really upsetting you may need some additional support. Someone to speak to, someone who can help advise you.

It doesn not make you mentally ill. That's quite offensive in itself, assuming people who need support are 'mentally ill'.

As I said my mother is disabled, I understand it's difficult and sometimesorw support is needed

Spartans · 14/07/2015 16:52

I didn't say you asked him, which you did by leaving your note saying he blocked you in.

I said you want him to park differently, which you do

araiba · 14/07/2015 16:59

his LL can't tell him where he can and can't park anyway

if you have mobility problems, ask him for his phone number so he can move his van for you if it is difficult getting out. his actions already, seem to suggest he is very reasonable and would do this for you

Original poster

YNK · 14/07/2015 17:10

araiba, great suggestion, thanks.

I have worked in Mental Health as an RMN so I am aware of what it is thanks, Spartans. The majority of us will suffer at some point in their lives, but I fail to see that I need anything other than advice from mn atm since we are all entitled to feelings. Anger Sadness Happiness and Fear are what we rely on to guide us through lifes ups and downs.
My present fear is a niggle which has been with me since last night. I think a trip to the GP would be over reacting!

OP posts:

BrockAuLit · 14/07/2015 17:11

You really arching incredibly difficult.

You want to park in front of your house. You want your daughter to park in front of your house. Both of these on a public road where you have no special right to park in front of your house. You want to have what you consider lots of room for you and your daughter. You need this space you say because of your disability but at the same time you don't want to attention to it (either it's a factor or it isn't). You want to be nice by your own standards and you want other people to accommodate and understand your niceness. You are obliged to take some time to manoeuvre out of a parking spa but you don't want other people to object to this and stress you out.

And yet you criticise your neighbour because he wants to preserve his view and this is wholly unreasonable?!

Fwiw he is being unreasonable but nowhere near as much as you are. Go and park in front of his house. Apply for disabled parking bay. Move on.

GinandJag · 14/07/2015 17:17

When you and your daughter park, leave plenty of space in front of and behind your cars, but not enough for anyone else to sneak in.

This is something you can control, but you can't control any other road user. It's not efficient but it doesn't sound as if there are no alternatives for your neighbours.

Pipbin · 14/07/2015 17:18

Sad to hear it I know but it is a public road so he can park where he likes.
I would like to think that we live in a world where people would consider others when they park in these kinds of situations but sadly they don't. The fact that he has left you he details sounds promising though.

Spartans · 14/07/2015 17:21

You didn't say it was a niggle. You said you are frightened, you said you think he was outside measuring up so he could block you on on purpose, you said you may lose anything.

Non of that hints at a niggle. It hints at some one who is genuinely frightened they will lose their freedom and is verging on paranoia. Which is worth speaking to a doctor about.

MetallicBeige · 14/07/2015 17:30

Maybe he parked near to your car in the thought of leaving room behind him in case of others needing to park there? I doubt he purposefully blocked you in.

I don't see why you can't park outside of your home, and your non disabled daughter park a bit further up. That's what we do on our terraced road, one of us will park outside the house, whoever gets home after will park further up, other two-car neighbours seem to do it too, it works well as everybody gets one space outside of their own house so everybody feels happy.

NinkyNonkers · 14/07/2015 17:36

Why can't tenant park up road?

INickedAName · 14/07/2015 17:36

Is the road outside the landlords public? Could your dd park there?
If it's not privately owned by the spot outside landlords is up for grabs too.

Featherbluedot · 14/07/2015 17:37

It sounds like you are a bit intimidated by the landlord who seems a bit of an odd character.

Best thing you can do is apply for a disabled space outside your house before he starts harassing you and parking there all the time.

It is a public road so people can park where they like.
I think he asked to put up the no fouling sign on your gate to make a point about your dogs.

Featherbluedot · 14/07/2015 17:43

And ignore other cars when you are trying to get out of a tight space, if they start beeping at you, just take a deep breathe, shut them out of you mind and just concentrate on getting out of the space and don't rush for their sake take all the time you need.

Original poster

YNK · 14/07/2015 17:43

I'm not sure why people are not reading my posts.
Parking has never been an issue in all the 25ys I've been here until Friday when I was blocked in. The landlord has been there for about 10yrs and his tenant for 2-3ys. There's loads of space.

Both our cars take up just a little bit more than my frontage and both my neighbours on either side have happily told us we are welcome to encroach on their frontage. We are second from the end of the block and since the tenant started to park there we have moved to parking further back to give him loads of room. It's always been a very happy state of affairs.

I could have given myself room between me and my daughter but I thought I was being considerate by giving him extra space to manouver. It seemed unreasonable to me for him to have parked so close when there was loads of space behind him, but the consensus here is that it's me in the wrong.

There are 10 houses on the block, broken up by a lampost just after his house (6th from my end) leaving 4 housefronts on the other end of the block where no one ever parks.
He has asked if we will park at the other end so he can be outside my house because his landlord won't allow parking in front of their house.
When we park at our end of the block we are using less than 1.5 housefronts, leaving him more than 4.5 as well as the 4 at his end on the other side of the lampost.

But I get the sentiment on here that IABU and if I want to get out of the house I should organise a designated space (I don't even know if that's possible - I've never seen it anywhere in a residental area.)

I am also going to ask for his number so I can ask him to let me out if I'm blocked before I can organise a space for myself. That sounds like a good idea. My daughter will just have to walk from wherever she can get parked.

OP posts:

Featherbluedot · 14/07/2015 17:45

In my area there are loads of designated disabled spaces so it shouldn't be too difficult for you to apply for one where you live.

Kintsugi · 14/07/2015 17:49

Is it just me reading this thinking -
why did you ask him to move in the first place?
why did you not ask your daughter who was - from your own admission - parked on the other side of you - its just...goady !

and yes you can get a white line drawn in if you are registered disabled
but any other registered disabled peson can use it

CakeLady1 · 14/07/2015 17:49

Tbh, I'm quite surprised that the original post didn't read "I spoke to him & he told me to eff off" - he seems to be quite amenable as he gave you his address. Perhaps if you spoke to his landlord too, pointing out the available space where they could both park, all could be resolved.
There's not much point trying to second guess what he's doing pacing around (maybe contemplating a different sized van?), speak to the bloke! Generally, people don't drive vans for vanity, it'll most likely be related to his work & tbh you can't really begrudge him that.

Original poster

YNK · 14/07/2015 17:56

I am scared of him given his background of domestic violence and his intimidation of my daughter one evening in the lane behind the houses (in front of her young son).
I'm not keen on both him and his tenant chatting up my daughter either - the all have partners and she's certainly not interested in them.

My instinct is that they are not going to be helpful here, which could be devastating for me both because of my access to the world and being tense increases the painful spasticity of my movements.

However, I've taken a fair old bashing here too so I just need to take it on the chin.

OP posts:

Original poster

YNK · 14/07/2015 18:03

Thanks featherbluedot, that's reassuring to know.

I'm boring myself with repitition here and I've asked people to read properly before having a go but, (sigh) for the benefit of kintsugi and cakelady who find me goady.
A- My daughter was away for a weekend break and
B-I didn't know where they lived other than somewhere in the middle of the block, which I would have needed a wheelchair to reach.

It would be really helpful if you could follow the narrative before lashing out at me, thanks.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4