To be having a post wedding identity crisis

[Jewels234]

I got married at the weekend, and it was amazing.

However, having said that I would take my husband's name, now it has come to it, I just can't. It doesn't feel right. And it's mainly because I'll now be called the same as his mum, and I absolutely cannot stand the woman.

So I feel really uncomfortable taking my husband's name. I feel really uncomfortable keeping my own name. Double barrelled is the only option, but that means I will have a surname with 5 syllables.

Has anyone else felt similarly confused. It's only a name, but I feel like my identity for the rest of my life rests on this decision.

unbelievable!!

my husband didn't work at the same place and I don't think anyone knew his surname - but that is appalling.

to whoever; no-one is saying there's anything wrong in changing your name should you wish. The point for the OP is that she has a choice. Also that to change your name takes work.

I'm going Game of Thrones on this one. Women can keep their name if they consider their name noble enough. And then it is pretty open to interpretation.

I've kept my name. I'm in a large minority in my group of friends, and tbh, no one is actually that bothered! Isn't that what equality is? Complete freedom to choose without question?

I kept my name when i got married.

People have said to me 'i didn't think you were allowed to do that' um yeah, i'm on the run from the name police.....

@flora I like that. I feel that quite well frames how I feel about myself now I am married.

Flemish Belgians also don't change their name on marriage (DP is Flemish btw)

Not read full thread but could you create a new family name that both you and your new husband changed to? (congratulation by the way). Friends of mine did this they combined their surnames to create a new name together as they felt as they were starting a new family together as the two of them and any children that come along they should give it a new name they did it through dipole (spelling?) . Though they did have names that combined easily and it still sounds like a straight forward surname and not at all made up ifyswim.

I changed my name both times.

That said, I still have some letters coming in addressed to my first married name and we divorced years and years ago.

My housing association has my name down as my first married name. I told them it was wrong and they told me to send in my marriage certificate. I never bothered. MIL nearly had a fit when she found out though, she wondered why I would want to act like I still belonged to my ex!

DH, DH, DH! Not DP. You see how naturally I have managed this change OP

I felt the same OP and initially didn't change it officially-I felt I was losing a part of who I was-especially at work. After about 6 months I gradually started to change it but kept my maiden name professionally for about 2 years. I now can't imagine any other name. Do what you feel is right and there is no rush x

Oh Ms Crosbybeach you must live near me.

I changed mine because it sounded nicer. My parents apparently didn't think it through when they gave me my name. There were far too many M's in it. It sounded like a stream of Ememememem.