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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is our nursery BU?

15 replies

PipAndPosey · 14/07/2015 13:12

Not sure if it's me or them being unreasonable here...
My DS aged 2.9 started nursery 5 weeks ago. He's settled in brilliantly and loves the place.

It's the end of term picnic today and we were told to arrive at noon, which we did. On arrival I see there is a full blown nursery picnic in progress. Dancing, music, parents and grandparents and siblings all in attendance... I queried what time I was supposed to arrive and they explained the event started at 11am but my son wasn't to arrive til noon as he was too new and not used to their "circle time". I was a bit hurt for my DS sake as every other child was enjoying the party! It's a Montessori school so maybe this is usual for new children not to be included in everything? He's also not invited on the outing this week...

AIBU? Anyone else had this with a new nursery?

OP posts:

DoJo · 14/07/2015 13:23

So he still got to go to the picnic, but there was a bit earlier that was just for the children who have spent (presumably) all year together, for them to celebrate the end of term? That doesn't sound too bad to me - if he's still settling in then I would imagine he needs a little more attention than those who have been there for months already, so if they want to have an end of term event where they give time to everyone it seems like a reasonable way to do it. I'm guessing your son was completely oblivious to the fact that the party was already underway when he got there, so it's not like he would have felt excluded.

fleamadonna · 14/07/2015 13:25

sounds utterly bizarre to me. I would be miffed.

liquidrevolution · 14/07/2015 13:29

Weird and not very inclusive. Would a school have done the same for a new child? I doubt it.

I would have thought it not in keeping with the ethics of Montessorri. Not that I know much about it (in case anyone wants to argue the fact).

midnightvelvetPart2 · 14/07/2015 13:30

Sounds as though perhaps the dancing & music got underway at noon & the time before was circle time to give the parents etc a flavour of what goes on at nursery when they're not there. Maybe they were worried that your son is new & would disrupt the circle time as is not used to it, so they decided to invite you for the fun part only?

YouBastardSockBalls · 14/07/2015 13:31

Sounds weird, rude, and unfair to your ds.

Was he the only one excluded?

WipsGlitter · 14/07/2015 13:35

YABabitU. Presumably they've run this before and know what works. He's still pretty young and new. He will get to enjoy the whole thing next year.

Original poster

PipAndPosey · 14/07/2015 13:47

Yeah it's probably me being a bit over-protective of my sons feelings. Just he was the only nursery pupil excluded from it, and there was loads of younger siblings there much younger than him...

OP posts:

dobbythedoggy · 14/07/2015 14:54

I've worked in a montessori style nursery. With the picnic I think it depends what they had planned for the circle time. It may well have been something your ds isn't quite able to join in with yet, so they might not have want to set him up to fail when he should be having fun. But if I'd felt your ds needed a later start I'd have wanted to explain first not let you walk in thinking you were late.

We didn't do many off site outings, lucky enough to have BIG school grounds. But until we got to really know new children we wouldn't take the too much further than the nursery garden for the first month or so. I'd certainly have been very iffy about taking them on bigger outings or theatre trips and don't think the manager would have allowed it.

It has no reflection on your son or how he setteling in. New children do need more input when learning to how to behavie in circle time and other aspects of nursery routine. It also takes time for the staff to get to know your son; if he could be a bloter, in the wrong combination gets silly when with another child or children. None of which you want to disscover infront of all the parents, sibblings and grandparents or on a trip away from nursery.

As others have said soon he'll be the old hand at all this and you'll both be able to enjoy everything the nursery has to offer.

Kewcumber · 14/07/2015 14:56

I'd certainly have been very iffy about taking them on bigger outings or theatre trips and don't think the manager would have allowed it.

But a parent was with him surely thats not the same as a outing with staff?

Original poster

PipAndPosey · 14/07/2015 14:56

Thanks Dobby x

It's a great nursery really, so I'm sure they know what they are doing...

OP posts:

Goshthatsspicy · 14/07/2015 14:57

How weird. I can't imagine any other preschool setting doing that.
It might have made it easier for the staff, but that isn't the point.
I'm sorry for you.

Kewcumber · 14/07/2015 14:57

Perhaps they were doing a special circle time to say good bye to the children moving on to school in Sept and thought your DS wouldn;t get anything out of it?

It does seem odd to me.

dobbythedoggy · 14/07/2015 15:19

kew I was responding to the fact the op said ds wasn't invited on an outting this week.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/07/2015 15:24

Yanbu at all, that is unacceptable and it would be a dealbreaker for me. Ok if they wanted him to come later to the picnic, they shoukd have explained beforehand and the reason why. They left him out of an outing, without even discussing it with you. I woukd not be pleased.

elliejjtiny · 14/07/2015 16:22

DS2 and DS4's preschools have a "leavers party" at the end of the summer term for the children who are starting school in September. The younger children aren't invited. Is this something similar?

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