to think that we should be allowed to change our mind? (wedding related)

[EatDessertFirst]

DP and I are finally getting married next year in August. I admit that I was quite naive about how many things had to be considered, and a lot of the stuff we didn't want seems to be a necessity now. We've cut out a lot of guff except seperate venues but that is unavoidable and have invited all the kids and partners. After reading so many threads about how guests hate being made to stand around while photos are taken after a wedding ceremony, we have decided to put on drinks and canapes for our guests at this time. It is expensive, but our ceremony is at 12.30pm, and we don't want people to remember our wedding as 'the one where we were all starving'. We are under no time pressure as the caterer is happy to wait till we have numbers and our booking with them is secure. We are paying for it ourselves.

So, the AIBU. On telling DM that DP and I have decided to add this in, DM has gone nuts. She shouted that I have got to stop changing my mind, that we shouldn't worry about guests being hungry as they are having a three course meal at 3pm, that we shouldn't be spending anymore money, its a waste of money......I could go on. Its made us start second guessing ourselves. We want our guests to be as comfortable as possible but her massive hissy fit has left me upset and the atmosphere tense. I know its very 'first-world problems' but I would appreciate your opinions.

Ta muchly.

Yes east. For 10 years at my old job 3pm was my normal lunchtime

I should add, by the way, that the canapes would be very welcome in this situation. It was the idea that guests would not be able to cope with a meal at 3pm because they could not fathom what it was supposed to be that puzzled me.

Is that your mum is the type who doesn't mind what time she is fed?

I still remember a wedding where people were so hungry they drove somewhere to get lunch.

It would be kind to explain arrangements to your guests.

My DD went to a wedding where tea and cupcakes (made by members of the congregation-the bride was an active member) were served at the back of the church after the ceremony ,which I thought was a lovely idea . Some people were invited only to the service ,not the reception, so it made them feel more ' included' .I assume it was during this they had most of their pics done

I don't understand why your mom is getting so irrate about it though?
Any chance she was going to organise something like this for you herself?

God you are in the right, don't let her put you off.

If people don't want to eat the canapes, they don't have to.

I'd agree about cutting the starter, or in fact making the canapes the starter. Two courses sitting down is plenty, especially if you have kids included.

Yanbu.

I should add, by the way, that the canapes would be very welcome in this situation. It was the idea that guests would not be able to cope with a meal at 3pm because they could not fathom what it was supposed to be that puzzled me.

Well in that case I totally agree with you and sorry I misunderstood. I do wonder how many weddings people have been to it they don't realise that eating at very odd times is normal.