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Original poster

To go to this wedding? Newborn baby & toddler

28 replies

SilverBirchT · 13/07/2015 08:05

A close relative is getting married and I really want to go to the wedding however my baby is due 2 months before! DC1 will be 3yo. Depending when the baby is born they could be either 2 or 3 months old.

The wedding is a 7 hours drive away not including rest stops. Plus it's going to be in a standalone marquee i.e. not on the grounds of a hotel etc, basically in a field. It'll be no expense spared but I have no idea what the facilities will be like at this type of event.

Should a newborn be travelling in a car this long?? I'll have support from my DP and my children's grandparents but realistically how practical and enjoyable will the wedding be with a new baby?

I'm planning on FFing after the nightmare I had with DC1 if that makes a difference?

Really confused on what to do so any advice would be most welcome.

OP posts:
summerainbow · 13/07/2015 08:25

I would say no if it was a friend.
Close relative how clowe. Brother or sister orBIL or SIL you would have say yes .
Anyone else no.

UngratefulMoo · 13/07/2015 08:26

No issue with a baby that young being at a wedding, but yes, that's too long in the car in one stretch. Can you make a weekend away of it? A good decent long break in the middle of the journey, some respite for your older DC. I don't think FF or BF would make a difference, and if you are driving you can take all the kit you'll need for both kids, it's just the length of the journey that you'll need to manage.

Of course, it is possible that if baby is overdue or there are complications you may not feel up the journey, so also worth bearing in mind how you would handle it if that happened and you had to cancel at short notice - hopefully you have an understanding friend.

LadyStark · 13/07/2015 08:26

Can you catch the train? I think a journey of that length may be easier to do by train.

Most marquee weddings have very good facilities unless they are doing it on a real shoestring.

How close is the closest hotel/B&B?

UngratefulMoo · 13/07/2015 08:28

PS - I took DD to a wedding when she was three months old and had a great time - she slept a lot and DH looked after her while I danced!

fleamadonna · 13/07/2015 08:30

when ds was 4 weeks old we drove from the Cotswolds in the south of England to orkney off the scottish north coast. we stayed overnight in Inverness and made short stops to give him a change/feed/stretch every couple of hours. travelwise it was easy, but we did have comfortable accommodation. I assume you'll be staying somewhere near the venue? if so, fine!

I am (early days) pregnant again and that dc will be due a week before sil's wedding. we plan to attend Grin

KatyN · 13/07/2015 08:31

Can you take a day or two to travel to the wedding? A baby shouldn't be in a car seat for more than 2 hours and I can't get my toddler to sit in one for much longer. Maybe drive half way and have an over night stay and the same on the way back?
As for the field thing, I think that would be fine. Cartons of formula, and loads of hand gel for nappy changes.

We were going to have to take a 3 month old and a 4 year old to a wedding in a Forrest but they have moved the date so the new one will be 8 months. I'm already wondering how many spare clothes we'll have to take!!!

Only1scoop · 13/07/2015 08:35

Way long for a journey of that length. I know people do but it sounds like a nightmare. The feeding is no issue as can take steriliser and cartons. Would you be in nearby hotel?

Original poster
SilverBirchT · 13/07/2015 08:37

Hmm. The train is a possibility, I hadn't thought of that. That would mean the baby wouldn't be in the car seat the whole time, though it would be a lot more expensive for the 4 of us but so would breaking up the journey with an overnight stay. Money will be tight with me being on mat leave. Will have a look into those options though.

I don't know at this stage where we'll be staying but it would probably make sense to book a b&b nearby if possible so we have access to our room especially if our toddler needed a nap during the day and for getting back easily.

Another possibility would be me going myself with our toddler and DP staying at home with the baby but I would rather we all went together Sad

If there was any complications then the bride would be understanding if I couldn't make it at the last minute I'm sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
SilverBirchT · 13/07/2015 08:39

Thanks so much for all your messages! Definitely helping put my mind at ease!

Lots of options to think about.

OP posts:
Stillwishihadabs · 13/07/2015 08:43

I would take the baby and leave the toddler tbh. Having said that we did attend weddings (some in fields) with both dcs as ebf babies and some with dcs aged 2-4. Was much less stress to leave the toddler at home though

LostMySocks · 13/07/2015 08:46

i think that the advice is that babies shouldn't regularly be in car seats for longer than a couple of hours. However a one off should be fine especially as you'll need food and rest breaks for you and the children. Most people love young children and are happy to help with cuddles at weddings so once you are there it'll be easier for you to take it easy. Definitely try and make a weekend of it.

Original poster
SilverBirchT · 13/07/2015 08:46

Oh really?? I would have thought it would have been the other way around! Shock

OP posts:
TheBobbinIsWound · 13/07/2015 08:49

If it's a close family wedding then why not get in touch with the mother of the bride or someone you know well
who are in the wedding party and ask what facilities will be avail? Trust me, as a bride next month, I would have no qualms about answering questions about what facilities my venue offer. It's imperative to being a good host that you ensure your guests feel looked after.

Or you could call the venue directly if you were self-conscious and say "I'm attending a wedding in xxxxx, it's the xxxxx wedding. I will have a newborn in tow and I was wondering what changing facilities you have avail etc.

YY To the previous posters who suggested train, making a weekend of it etc.

Turquoisetamborine · 13/07/2015 08:50

We attended a wedding last month with our 7yr old and 7 week old. It would have taken 5 hours to drive so we got the train. Tickets weren't bad as we bought a family rail card.
He slept in the sling the whole journey and we even had a day out in Central London with him in the sling.
I was so glad we didn't drive as if you have a bad night the night before it can affect your concentration.

Original poster
SilverBirchT · 13/07/2015 08:54

I think DP would prefer the train but that does limit us when we actually get there for getting around.

Our pregnancy hasn't been announced yet so can't discuss with the bride or mother of the bride just yet but they'll be more than happy to help once we finally tell them.

OP posts:
Iggly · 13/07/2015 09:06

A 2 month old baby is a breeze compared to a toddler at a wedding. They mainly sleep and don't need much.
When I had my second dc I was Shock at how I'd forgotten how relatively easy babies were (and both of mine were awful awful sleepers)

Only1scoop · 13/07/2015 09:10

It's all the equipment you'd have to take on the train really and how you are going to get around once you are there. Be difficult without your car and seats etc.

Hidingbehindclouds · 13/07/2015 09:18

I took ds to Cyprus at 8 weeks old after a very rough emergency c section. It was great, lots of people to fuss over the baby and I got to relax! If the tent has no facilities then make sure you have plenty of milk if ff and kid friendly drinks and snacks for toddler.
Car journey isn't a problem, just take loads of breaks and get baby out of the car seat regularly. Toddler will get bored but a portable DVD player or plenty of magazines/toys/singing and a nap will help. Have a lovely time!

Original poster
SilverBirchT · 13/07/2015 09:23

Oh thank you. I'm very excited now instead of panicking!

Think we'll turn it into a mini holiday for us all. Will definitely be easier having the grandparents there to help too.

Now just need to save save save! Grin

OP posts:
Twistedheartache · 13/07/2015 09:34

I've just attended a wedding with a 4 year old & an 8 month old and am a lone parent. It wasn't like a pre child wedding with lots of sitting around drinking in the sunshine etc & logistics needed to be planned carefully but it's definitely doable.
Saviours for me - playgrounds at motorway services, planning longer driving stints around naps, letting older one stay up late if she had a nap, ice lolly in car (hottest day of year) plenty of water & snacks & a v chilled out baby by nature who is happy watching world go by, being carried around with the occasional play on the floor/grass - pure fluke #1 total opposite
I was staying on site though so could retreat to room & found that loads of the guests were more than happy to volunteer to help out
Overall - not easy but doable & worth it for a wedding you really want to attend.

HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim · 13/07/2015 09:37

Definitely doable! I wouldn't think twice about attending tbh. But I love a good wedding...

Athenaviolet · 13/07/2015 09:43

It sounds like a nice mini break.

knittingdad · 13/07/2015 09:51

Worth checking, but I think it will be cheaper for you to buy your toddler a ticket and also buy a friends and family railcard, then it would be just to buy tickets for you and your DP.

Chococroc · 13/07/2015 10:01

I recently attended a wedding, in a field, about a 6hr drive away. Perfectly doable. For the journey we stopped every 2hrs or so. The wedding itself was straightforward, the b&g had put on a separate play tent for the kids so I fed (mixed feeding) and changed him in there. We did fine it useful to have the car with us, due to the amount of 'stuff' we needed with us, think the train would've been more complicated.

littlejohnnydory · 13/07/2015 20:08

It'll be fine. If you want to go, there's no reason why not. I went on a plane with a 4 week old as well as three other dc under 7 and the baby was the easiest part of it. If you're ff you might have slightly more hassle / stuff to carry but I'm sure it can be done!

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