AIBU to consider a 19 mile journey for secondary school place?

[Felicityfarewell]

Little background -
We rent and will be forever probably
We are practising Catholics
I drive as does my husband
Okay so long story short we live in Horsham, have done since birth of son now approaching year 6.
He is at a catholic primary as is his sister who goes into year 5 come September.
We don't have any catholic schools here, most seem to go onto st Wilfred's in Crawley which I really disliked on the visit, a few to burgess hill ( no idea why, that school is in the middle of nowhere ) or they then leave faith schools behind and go to a non faith one.
I really want a catholic secondary and I've looked at both sir philip howard in barnham, really liked it but personally wouldn't like to go any further away from London ( where I grew up ) than here so seems daft as would never want to live there, but fell in love with St. Andrews in leatherhead.
It's mixed unlike a few other catholic schools in surrey which is important as their age gap is only 1 school year, and my husband grew up in Epsom so very familiar with the area etc.
trouble is that it's 19 miles from our home address, not even half an hour driving as all pretty fast roads or 25 mins on a direct train however only 6 children not living locally got in last year so the safest thing to do would be to move that way when our tenancy expires in September so that we stand a good chance but the downside is then commuting for 2 years ( including son and daughter ) to Horsham as wouldn't want to disrupt them and very doubtful any of the catholic schools would have a place.
We will without a doubt go from a 3 bed house to a 2 bed flat / house maybe for the rental price we can pay ( £1,200 a month ) taking out petrol likely to cost a good £100 a month doing the journey and that's one way as in I'll stay in Horsham for the day, collect daughter and then son on way home kind of thing. Am I being ridiculous considering it? Lots of friends think it's just too far to do for 2 years, husband thinks the cost is too high but agrees in principal and as we are renting it would only cost a few hundred pounds with referencing fees and a van.
What do you all think?

Where does Bognor come into it? Isn't that really far away? Does it have a reputation for good Catholic secondaries?????

You can get a direct train to Bognor from Horsham iirc.

If you plan to stay in Horsham all day, can you get a part-time job there? My son travels 12 miles each way, and catches a train.

St Peters , Guildford?

A good message?
I personally think it's a pretty good message to send my son who loved the school so much that I would be willing to drive him there until we relocate fully and sister is there too.
There is no sacrifice I wouldn't make for my children to be happy, sofa bed included!
There are no catholic schools in the whole of surrey with a space for either child so seems better than to put them in any old leatherhead school which then won't be catholic to then start them at a secondary catholic school with all the religious aspects to it.
We've rented for many years, none have long leases they always do a year at a time so that plan can't amount I'm afraid. I wish it could!

You can get a direct train to leatherhead and barnham but barnham is very rural and not somewhere I can imagine entertains teens well, or me for that matter!

How certain is it you will get a place at your preferred school if you move? Is there a possibility that you will move but fail to gain a place?

So you will live in a flat with no living room? And you having no bedroom to ensure you son gets into your school of choice.

Look op if you all want to do it, do it. Sounds like you haveade up your mind. However spending the day wondering round and then going to work will be difficult. Them add on all the other stuff and life will be hard.

If you and dh are so sure it's the right thing, why the thread? And (if pp is correct) why the multiple threads?

Agree with teabag. What about play dates etc? What about when your Ds needs to stay after school for activities, trips or parents evening and you need to collect his sister or head off to work. All hypothetical since he probably won't get a place unless you move before October.

If you're really set on the school then YANBU

I work in a rural private school and a 30 minute drive is about the average commute for our pupils. Most are younger than secondary and it doesn't seem to be a problem.

But, if I were you, I'd just do it for a year and move your dd for Y6.

I agree, I would and did go through, temporary, he'll to get dd into our school of choice. Which is why I aware it's not as easy as people think even in the catchment areas, for some LEAs.

I just think you are under estimating the impact this will have. The or job in Horsham sounds like a good idea. Somewhere to spend the day and a bit extra money.

hell not he'll.... Damn autocorrect

Use your local schools. It really annoys me that people don't. If you want to go to a particular school then move to that area. If I'm understanding this correctly why should you live 19 miles away from school and get a place when there will be I am sure local kids not able to get into that school. Plus there is the whole additional problems of your car on the road, petrol costs, traffic jams etc

Toooooohot
OP is talking about becoming local to the secondary school and commuting from new home to old school for a couple of years until DD joins the new school. THe move would mean that they are no longer local to the primary.

As others have mentioned, I would think heavily about the bedroom situation. Your children are fast approaching an age at which it would become against their best interests to share a bedroom.

Once puberty hits they will need separate rooms.

What do you mean, you won't get any help with childcare because your DH earns over the threshold? There is no earnings threshold for childcare vouchers, if that's what you mean.

Op I have so not understand the religious school point so I will not comment on that.

My ds1 and as of September ds2 go to a secondary school 14 miles away. They catch a school bus so that's ok but the socialising is another story. All of the children go there from a 10 mile radius. My weekends are spent dropping ds off 20 miles away. As children get older they want to spend time with their friends so there will be a lot driving.

Op you need to seriously consider the rooms for the children. Having their own space during puberty is very important especially as they are different sexes.

Lollypop27
I think the point of the rooms is a good one.
But the DC will be local (walking distance) to the secondary school which is the point of OP wanting to move.

I think I'm overinvested in this thread, I will shut up and finish cooking supper

So you're moving to flat where you can't go to bed till your kids have gone to bed... It won't be long till they're older teens ... I find idea of travelling that far for two yrs crazy. whatll you do when one is sick, has after school activities, has activities at night, want to hang out with friends etc etc..

And what if secondary school does t suit one or other?

I wonder for secondary school what exactly is the benefit as a Catholic you'll get from a Catholic school? went to one myself and really don't see the benefit.

Aaah ..... You are going to think about moving...,, then iabu and will shut the fuck up!

What happens if your car breaks down? Or one child is sent home from school ill? Or if you are ill? What if one wants to do after school activities/go to a friends house for tea?

How does your dd feel about two years commuting to school in order to get her brother into St A?

You won't do the journey in 40 mins btw - the traffic is HORRENDOUS. Locals spend that getting to school. Don't underestimate the business of the A24!

Why not do it till next July, then move your dd for her final year. I can't see why one year, out of 14, of a non catholic education is such an issue.

And really rethink the bedroom situation. What if you and your dh aren't well and all you want is to curl up in bed? Or lie-in? Or the kids are up late watching TV when they're older. or you want a shag?

Well sorry we can't afford a 3 bed place!
Lots of people cant.
I've been looking for term time work for years to no avail hence the evening work and we now bring in £2500 a month which isn't much when you think rent is £1200 petrol £200 for me to get to work etc and all the bills and a few small debts pre kids.
I think it's better us sleeping on a sofa than them having to share.
Unfortunately we are not over crowded as not in council accomodation.

One out of 14 just seemed a very small amount although obviously if we did it when he was just about to start the school ( if he got the place ) then his sister would get in on sibling and would only mean one year of commuting for sisters year 6 which is by far better.

You clearly don't want to hear that this proposal is unsustainable. How many schools have you looked at as my understanding is that many open days won't happen until September. £50 a week for travel to evening work seems somewhat expensive. Presumably you'd have to give up that job and seek something else more local if you were to move since increasing those costs would render it pointless.