AIBU to consider a 19 mile journey for secondary school place?

[Felicityfarewell]

Little background -
We rent and will be forever probably
We are practising Catholics
I drive as does my husband
Okay so long story short we live in Horsham, have done since birth of son now approaching year 6.
He is at a catholic primary as is his sister who goes into year 5 come September.
We don't have any catholic schools here, most seem to go onto st Wilfred's in Crawley which I really disliked on the visit, a few to burgess hill ( no idea why, that school is in the middle of nowhere ) or they then leave faith schools behind and go to a non faith one.
I really want a catholic secondary and I've looked at both sir philip howard in barnham, really liked it but personally wouldn't like to go any further away from London ( where I grew up ) than here so seems daft as would never want to live there, but fell in love with St. Andrews in leatherhead.
It's mixed unlike a few other catholic schools in surrey which is important as their age gap is only 1 school year, and my husband grew up in Epsom so very familiar with the area etc.
trouble is that it's 19 miles from our home address, not even half an hour driving as all pretty fast roads or 25 mins on a direct train however only 6 children not living locally got in last year so the safest thing to do would be to move that way when our tenancy expires in September so that we stand a good chance but the downside is then commuting for 2 years ( including son and daughter ) to Horsham as wouldn't want to disrupt them and very doubtful any of the catholic schools would have a place.
We will without a doubt go from a 3 bed house to a 2 bed flat / house maybe for the rental price we can pay ( £1,200 a month ) taking out petrol likely to cost a good £100 a month doing the journey and that's one way as in I'll stay in Horsham for the day, collect daughter and then son on way home kind of thing. Am I being ridiculous considering it? Lots of friends think it's just too far to do for 2 years, husband thinks the cost is too high but agrees in principal and as we are renting it would only cost a few hundred pounds with referencing fees and a van.
What do you all think?

But the OP is in Horsham....not Ireland

That's an awfully long way especially with no direct public transport. Is moving to say Horley a possibility then you have the option of St Bedes Redhill or I thought Dorking had Catholic primary schools ( St Joseph's) in which case where do they progress on to.

Filling days up when it's nice out and you're healthy is fine.

If you're ill it'll suck.
If one of your kids is ill are you then going to keep both off?
You're mother would be fine you being at her house 3 days a week? With V&D or flu or bad colds? There are a ton of different things to take into account. Great fun in the depths of snow I would imagine.

You've obviously made your mind up though so crack on

not all Catholic schools act the same. so ops school may well teach the religion during school hours.

There aren't any spaces otherwise I would do that without a doubt.
I actually don't mind the impact on me ( other than financially as money is already tight )
They loved the school in leatherhead and both said they don't care about a garden anymore ( def needed one until fairly recently though ) and want to be able to walk to school together instead of me driving them when the time comes.
I would want a long tenancy anyway, as I said no chance of buying so the longer the better alhough most agencies will only do a year with a 6 months break clause :(

What difference does it make if other posters own their homes? People are commenting on various parts of your proposal (DC sharing, hanging around in Horsham, living far from their current school) which will cause difficulty.

You sound as if you really want it to work, so are just putting your fingers in your ears, saying "la la la" when people are pointing out the difficulties.

mmolly possibly, but doubtful. However you were the one that came to thread telling people to come back when educated. Yet the information you were positive about isn't 100%

The RC School I worked in didn't have anything to do with prep for confirmation/communion either. The only thing I could see that was different to the non faith (although there is technically no such thing in England as an act of worship is expected to take place in all state schools) school I attended were crucifixes on the walls and voluntary mass once a week at lunchtime.

I'd go for the easiest option OP. 5 years is a long time to be schlepping kids on a 40 mile round trip for 39 weeks of the year. What do your DC want to do?

Op, I don't mean this in a shitty way. But you have clearly made your mind up. Why start the thread? Is someone in RL telling you this won't work?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

You're not going to get any different answers to the other ninety million threads you've starter on the same topic.

why bother going to a Catholic school if they don't teach you the religion.

obviously they teach religion

My remark about home owning was to the poster who said I'm giving up security, as that's the one thing I can safety say I don't have whilst renting.
It seems daft to me money wise to do a 80 mile trip a day just to stay living in Horsham when nothing is keeping us here, it's nothing special, nothing better than leatherhead anyway in my opinion!
St. Paul's in burgess hill is the same distance as leatherhead apart from the fact it's in the middle of nowhere, miles away from the train station ( if it ever came to the kids using the train ) and is just in an area I would never want to live!

If money is tight then how will you work things if you find you can't afford to run both cars and/or you need to go out to work? Is there a reasonable way for the children to get to school without you driving them?

Or is the driving them only until the second starts then you will move there?

From my point of view. I wouldn't do it. We moved ds from 2 full days at private nursery to the nursery at dds primary and junior. For the last year and a half we have done 3 school runs a day. First thing to drop both kids off, again at 11.30am to pick up ds and 3.30 to pick up dd.

By the time they are dropped off, I often don't go home. With the half an hour drive there and back it sea pointless and honestly I caan not wait for the summer holidays when I don't have to do this anymore. Ds goes full time in September. The first weeks were fine. But it became very tedious, very quickly. I also visit mum, but she doesn't want me there a few days a week. We get on but she has stuff to do too.

My plan would be to move there this year in time for closing of applications.
My son would start next year and my daughter the year after so in two years time we would live close to the school and they would then be able to make their own way to and from hopefully.

It is all too much of a sacrifice for the perfect school, given the options you already have (excellent non faith schools in Horsham or a so-so catholic school 5 miles away easily accessible by bus) I very much doubt it will make enough of a difference to be worth all that hassle.

Presumably you aren't currently working if you have time to do this. If you were working could you afford to pay more and live closer/larger property . Secondary school aged children will not take kindly to compromising by sharing a bedroom. This seems to be more about your aspirations than for their benefit.

I think your OP is misleading, my first thought was YANBU ds is starting a school 28 miles away in September 1hour 15 door to door on public transport or 50 mins in the car with his Dad (drives that way for work). But that's not what you are asking,the real AIBU is "up route the dcs then subject them and yourself to a backwards commute,also downsize to get ds into the school of your choice" YANBU - just a bit mental, but if the whole family is on board then go for it.

Have you considered moving elsewhere eg. Bognor?

I do work actually as I already said, I work 5 evenings a week.
Paying out for childcare would be pointless as we would get no help as my husband earns over the threshold.
Wow, is that how it's coming across? As I already said they will have their own rooms come September whether we are in a 2 bed flat or a 3 bed house as we will use the living room.
The school of our choice not mine. Had my son loved one of the other ones I wouldn't even be asking this question.

Bognor?

I personally think you'd be nuts to do this OP but if everyone is on board then go for it.

Are you honestly ok with sleeping in a sofa bed in the lounge for the next 6 years at least? I can, just about, understand about moving for school reasons, but downsizing with 2 teens? No, it would be too much of a sacrifice for me.
Although you've dismissed Burgess Hill, have you looked at moving to Haywards Heath and surrounding villages? St Paul's bus children in from there, although a 30min walk to BHill station isn't that bad for a teen.

The long and short of it is you can't really afford to live in Leatherhead (house/flat not really big enough for your family) but that's where this unmatchably good catholic school is. By making this move you place a huge amount of pressure on your son, and who knows whether it will work out/suit him/suit your other children/remain the school you love - head teachers move on and cultures change.
I would focus on getting all of you settled in a decent size property, on a long lease, in an area with schools you are content with, where all your children can be educated without knowing of the sacrifices made for them and thus removing pressure. And, again my opinion, I don't think it's a great message you send your children that you have nothing to do but wait for them three days out of five.
I caveat this with the fact that I'm not (yet) a parent and not Catholic - but still think your plan has too many holes to hold up in the mid term.

I think moving for a really good secondary school is worth it, seeing as you have to move anyway. Once both DC are in secondary, you will be 'local' and all will be fine from then on. So it's just the bit between now and then.....
I'm guessing you want to keep DC in their current primary until both the new house is secure and until you are certain of a secondary school place for DS? But after that, you could always apply for a transfer for DD for year 6, into one of the local feeder schools, then you would only have one year (actually only 39 weeks) of the commute (plus she would get to know other kids going to the secondary school).
Even two years of commuting is relatively short compared to the seven years of secondary school. I would do it, especially as you don't seem to have a reasonable second choice of school.